Bound By Duty
by Lutz's Mistress
Summary: Edward is a top notch field agent for the FBI specializing in the type of cases no one else wants to touch. He is meticulous in his work but what his colleagues don't know is that very same nature carries over to his life behind closed doors...
1. Chapter One: Secrets

A/N: Hello All. This is my first time ever writing for some one other than myself. So please please please be gentle with me ok? I would like to thank my Beta nickeyd26 girl with out you this story would still be in my head as a fantasy! Love you thank you for making this a reality! You Can Find me on Facebook at Megan Belikov :)

***Disclaimer: The beloved Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight related. Persons, places, or references in this story are not done with intentional copyright infringement. I am only playing with the characters giving them a different job and a really great time. Anyone under the age of 18 this is not a story you should be reading, take your innocent eyes somewhere else. All human. ExE slash. Does include BDSM scene so if this is not your thing than please do not read this story.***

* * *

><p><em><strong>Secrets<strong>_

Abs. Seriously? This is what I am thinking about right now while at work? Not the best thing to be obsessing over in the middle of a crime scene. Sweaty, rippled, tanned, muscular abs have been plaguing my thoughts all morning long. Taking another gulp of my soda, I shiver knowing those abs will have to wait…for now. I have a job to do.

Thank God this week is done. I fish my keys from my pocket and climb into my Volvo. The supple leather holds me as I turn the ignition and am on my way. I think back to when the FBI had given me my now favorite car. It was a year ago this month and marked my ten year anniversary with the bureau. It was also around this same time that I met my current partner, Jasper. He has a great sense of humor and an affinity for practical jokes, but when push comes to shove, he is a damned good agent, and I was glad that he had my back. We were a tight knit group in our unit. There were eight of us all together; all having quickly become great friends. I knew I could trust those guys with my life…but not with my secrets. Yes, I have a secret so deep I am quite sure that my friendships and quite possibly my career would be jeopardized if they found out about my choice of lifestyle. I turn up the stereo to divert these thoughts as I drive home. As much as I play this particular card close to the vest, I am not ashamed of who I am.

Home.

Finally!

I am so glad to be home after the day that I just had. Friday is always my favorite day of the week. It starts our weekend arrangement, and I cannot wait to spend it unwinding from this hell of a work week.

I walk to the kitchen expecting to find my submissive, Emmett, working to get dinner ready for us. I set my keys down on the kitchen table, frowning. Where could he be? I stand there thinking for a moment when all of a sudden I hear it coming from my backyard. _Thump. Thump_. It's the sound of a basketball hitting the concrete pad. I smile as I head outside to watch Emmett. I open the door and I stand to inspect him for a few minutes. He is amazing to watch. Emmett is the definition of a living Adonis. He is nearly as tall as my six foot two inch frame, but he is much burlier than myself. He is wearing a black wife beater and hunter green basketball shorts that show off the rise and fall of his muscle structure as he takes another shot. His beautifully tanned skin shimmers in the late day sun. His love for sports keeps him outside for many hours and it shows. He reminds me of a bear._ My bear_.

As I start to walk towards him he sees me and immediately stops playing. The ball bounces away from him when he releases it without a second thought. He drops his eyes down while a small smile plays on his lips. I walk up to him; slowly circling him, as I run my hand along his stomach muscles. He trembles as I move to stand in front of him. With eyes cast down, he takes my hand and brings it up to his lips and kisses my knuckles. It's one of those rituals that we have with each other to help us remember our roles. Even though we have been playing together for two years now, we only do it on the weekends. So it helps to have rituals to allow us to get into the right frame of mind.

"Bear, what are you doing out here?" I ask; slightly cocking my head to the side.

"Your bear apologizes, Sir. Your bear didn't know Sir would be home this early." he answers. "Is there anything that your submissive can do for you?"

I look at him and give him my best crooked smirk "Why yes bear, I would like for you to join me in the shower."

I turn and walk back towards the house knowing he is following me. As I make my way up to the shower I start mentally planning the night's events. Seeing as how dinner wasn't on the table I have decided to give him a treat and order out tonight, giving us more time in my playroom. I open the bathroom door wide enough to let him in, and then turn to look at him.

"Undress me." I whisper.

He moves closer to me, taking off my suit jacket first. He slides the jacket down my arms and lets it drop to the floor. As he starts unbuttoning my dress shirt I let my head fall back slightly. I can feel my body already starting to unwind. He takes the dress shirt off, throwing it on the ground with my jacket before he moves to my pants. Dropping smoothly to his knees he starts a slow, torturous pace of removing my belt from each loop. I push his hands out of the way, and remove the belt myself. I am not going to be teased tonight. I wanted to get him into that shower and have him pleasure me with his mouth without further delay. With my pants still on I turn and start the shower, making sure that the water is not too hot.

I turn back around to tell him to finish undressing me . I am pleased to find that he is standing there with his feet shoulder width apart, and his hands folded in front of him. He has also taken my moment of distraction to divest himself of all his clothing, leaving him stark naked and looking fucking perfect. The only thing on his body is the black braided bracelet on his left wrist. It's his everyday collar that he wears to show that he is taken, mine. I run my thumb along the braiding remembering the meaning of the intricate knots. 'Unbreakable' is the word that the old Quileute woman used. He and I both have one.

"Come on. Seeing as how you are naked first, get your ass in that shower and on your knees."

He moves to the shower, getting in quickly. The sight of him naked like this makes me want to collar him already, but it's made out of leather, so it will have to wait. I swiftly remove my pants and get into the shower with him. He knows that this is his free zone; an area of my house that he is open to talk freely but respectfully. I expect him to begin talking to me, but I am met with silence. Instead I find him in his waiting position with his eyes gazing at the tub.

"Why are you looking down? Do you have something to say to me, bear?"

"Yes Sir, your bear was hoping you would grant him the honor of pleasuring you with his mouth." He says to me while the water is running down his back and over his taut stomach muscles.

That is an offer I very rarely turn down. "Oh baby, nothing would please me more than to feel your hot mouth on my dick" I moan loudly.

He reaches out and grabs me at the base of my cock with his left hand while placing his right on my hip to steady himself. He begins to run his tongue on the underside of my thick, long length; moving it over the many bars that make up my Jacob's Ladder piercing. He traces around each ball causing the bars to rotate under my skin. The feeling is like nothing else. He knows me so well. After paying equal attention to each rung of the ladder, he sheaths his teeth and welcomes my full length into his scorching, wet mouth. Throwing my head back I moan and grab his dark, curly, wet hair in my hands and gently pull him closer.

"Damn baby, give me more, make me cum in that hot mouth," I murmur. I look down between his spread knees at his massive manhood and watch him growing even harder than he already was. The sight of him getting even more hard was a huge turn on.

He moves his mouth over my purple tip, running his tongue over the now leaking slit. He is teasing me again, but this teasing I enjoy. Suddenly he pulls my engorged shaft deeper into his mouth and sucks hard so his nose hits my pubic bone.

"Oh bear. That is so good." I encourage, moving my eyes up his body to meet his beautiful green eyes.

He swallows making his throat squeeze tightly around the head of my swollen cock. Damn, that feels like heaven. He pulls back a little, swirling his tongue around the shaft, and quickly pumps my hardness in and out of his now hallowed out cheeks. Each thrust makes the steal balls on my shaft rub against the flat of his tongue.

"Aaah fuck baby, damn...oohh...fuuucck..." I gasp. I grab the sides of his head and begin to slowly hump his face as he works his mouth on my length.

"I'm so close, ooh fuck, I need to cum. Hold still now while I fuck that amazing mouth of yours. Swallow everything I give you dammit." He gives a small nod and reaches around to squeeze my ass.

"Oh…ahhh..FUUCCCKK...yessss!"

I can feel more than see his throat flexing as he swallows my cum that is now squirting down the back of his throat. Damn that is hot! I pump one last time to savor the feeling before I pull him up off his knees. I take the sides of his head in my hands tenderly to lean in and give him a few gentle kisses on the mouth. The look on his face must mirror mine. Bliss. I grab the washcloth, handing it to Emmett along with my favorite body wash. We proceed to take turns cleaning each other's bodies. His ever present need does not escape my attention. Soon bear, soon.

Feeling the rippled body of this gorgeous man makes me hard again. I can't take any more of this foreplay; I need to get him up to my playroom. I turn the water off and step out of the shower grabbing Emmett's hand, pulling him out with me. The heat of the water has caused the room to fill with steam.

Taking a towel off the rack I begin to dry him off, letting my fingers protrude over the sides of the towel so they graze his skin. Watching the water glisten on his flesh makes my hunger grow. Every once in a while I pepper kisses to parts of his body. His neck, shoulders, his right bicep, his abs. Oh those abs. I have been thinking about them all morning long. It is torture for me to not be able to run my hands along them whenever I want. Being on the same team at work is a blessing and a curse. Looking at him from across the room sometimes makes it nearly impossible to concentrate on the case of the murdered young lady, knowing I had wait to devour him until I arrived at home. While on the job I have caught myself numerous times watching him, wanting, no_ needing _him.

I hand him the towel and place my hands on his shoulders as he starts drying my body of excess water.

"You know I was thinking we should wait to eat dinner. I am feeling very impatient about getting you collared and up to my playroom." I tell him.

"Whatever pleases you Sir," he says as he stands there waiting for further instructions.

"Whatever pleases_ me _huh? Well in that case I want you in my playroom, kneeling in your inspection position at the foot of my bed in five minutes. Is that clear?"

"Yes Sir." He replies before he leaves the bathroom.

I grab a new towel, wrap it around my hips and leave the bathroom. I have a surprise for him tonight. We had just gotten in new black nylon rope at work, and I commandeered some to bring home with me. Running quickly out to my car (thankful for the tall shrubbery), I grab the black rope from my backseat and head back inside.

Before going to my playroom I stop in my bedroom and slip on my favorite pair of ripped blue jeans, keeping the button undone. I stop in my guest bedroom which I also use for Emmett's submissive quarters. I pull out a pair of dark blue silk boxers placing them on the dresser top. Moving to the bed I make sure to pull his covers half way down. I don't think I am going to have him sleep in here tonight; however if the scene goes bad Emmett may need to get away from me for awhile. I sigh as I leave the room, hoping that that will never happen.

I slow my pace as I near my favorite room. I am excited to begin playing with my bear, but I am the Dom and as such must set the tone for the evening's scene.

As I stand in the doorway to the playroom, I take in the sights before me. The walls are dark blue, almost black. The flooring is a pale pine wood. All the furniture in the room is covered in black leather with chrome fittings. Against the back wall is a king sized four-poster bed with black satin sheets. On each post there is a cuff shackled to the bed, perfect for holding someone still as they are ravished. My eyes land on the most important part of the playroom...Emmett. Everything I do as a Dominant is for him. I smile as I feel my heart swell at his submission to me. To give me his trust like that is mind blowing.

Emmett is kneeling in his inspection pose looking flawless. He is on his knees, his ass resting on his heels, back completely straight. His fingers are laced together, placed on top of his head, elbows out. My eyes travel to his face looking at his impeccable features. Dimples, sculpted jaw line, green eyes like mine only his are hinted with flecks of brown. Slowly taking my eyes off of him I move to the dresser that holds some of my supplies including Emmett's collars. I open the top drawer and look over the few collars that I have for Emmett and choose his normal collar. It is a four inch black leather collar with a lock on the back that has my initials engraved in the metal. We only ever use this one in here. I put it in my pocket and open the next drawer. Pulling it open, I look over all the toys that lay in there. Vibrators, dildos, cock rings, lubes, and massage oils. I pull out a large vibrating cock ring and a bottle of lube setting them on top of the dresser. Moving to the next drawer I pull out a pair of ankle cuffs and wrists cuffs. The wall next to me holds all the impact toys; floggers, paddles, whips, I grab my favorite blue suede flogger that has a small silver bead at the end of each frond. I gather everything off the dresser and the flogger, moving to the long black leather bench that is standing four feet away from Emmett's left side. The bench has eye holes in three different places; top, middle and bottom with small hooks that are used to hold the cuffs in place.

I place my supplies at the farthest end away from Emmett, taking only the wrist cuffs, I move to stand behind him. I take his right wrist and place the cuff around it making sure it is not too tight. I do the same with his left wrist. As I am placing the cuffs on his wrists my eyes are racking over his beautiful form. He has tattoos on various parts of his body. There is a cartoon drawing of a monkey on his left shoulder, it's one of my favorite pieces of skin art on him. It is the perfect expression of his personality; being the fun loving guy that he is. His family name is tattooed on the right side of his body along his ribs. Another favorite of mine, seeing as how I have one on my left side with my own family's name. His right arm is encased in a full sleeve of a Chinese dragon that extends to his shoulder. I trace the patterns along his shoulder as I begin to ask for his submission.

"Emmett are you willing to put your whole trust in me, giving me nothing less than your whole submission, with the knowledge that I only have the best of intentions, when it comes to providing you love, care, honesty and truth? Look at me when you answer."

"Yes Sir, this submissive gives you his whole submission, and will do whatever he can to make sure you are ultimately pleased," he says as he looks at me making direct contact between our two sets of green eyes. He then bends down to place his hands on either side of me and kisses the tops of my bare feet. It is a simple gesture, but one born of complete devotion. One that makes my heart pound a little harder.

"That's my good bear." I then secure his collar around his neck. Using two fingers I slide them under it to make sure it's not too tight on his massive neck.

"Now go over to the bench. I want you laying down on your back with that bitable ass close to the edge that is nearest to where we are. Go on."

I watch him as he moves to do as I have requested and he settles into position, exactly as instructed. Splendid. I move to the right side of his head and begin explaining what I have planned for us.

"I'm sure you have noticed tonight I didn't hide what I was going to be using. That long black rope that is sitting there…I grabbed it from work before I left." I smirk at him.

"I think we can have more fun with this here than we do at work, right?" He doesn't say anything to me, knowing I wasn't looking for an actual answer.

Moving my hands along the length of his arms, I pull them above his head and grab his hands, wrapping my fingers around his. "Do not move your arms. You move and I will have to restrain them, understand? Answer me."

"Yes Master."

"Good." After releasing his fingers, I run my hands back down his arms to his chest caressing his muscles. I pinch his nipple that is pierced with a small hoop, listening to him holding back moans of pleasure.

"Ooh someone wants to get vocal huh? Alright bear let me hear you tonight, I wanna know how I make you feel." I drag my fingertips through the ridges of his abs, moving them lower to his hips. I dig my fingers in slightly, getting rewarded by Emmett's guttural moans.

"Ohh Master...yes," he cries out.

I reach above his head grabbing the black nylon rope. "Alright my bear I am going to bind your legs so that you are spread eagle for me. I want to be able to ogle that impressive cock that I own."

I grab his left leg and bring it up so that his thigh is resting on his stomach and his knee is bent. I take the rope and wrap it around his ankle tying it together with a bowline knot, wrapping the rope around his upper and lower leg binding them together. I make a crisscross pattern across his entire leg and position his leg so it is laying almost completely flat against the side of the bench.

When I reach the top of his thigh I then take the rope and lay it down on his stomach. I need to prepare his cock for the next part of his bindings. I lean over him so that my chest is directly in front of him. I know he wants to taste me, but he also knows that that move will earn him a punishment. He keeps his mouth to himself and I let my pride in my submissive flow through me.

I snag the bottle of lube, squeezing some out onto the tip of his dick. Spreading it around with my fingertips, I use my other hand to then grab the vibrating cock ring and place it over the swollen mushroom tip. He moans in pleasure but remains still. With my fingers now well lubed up I gently pull the cock ring over his length all the way down, so it sets right at the base of his massive shaft. There is a small switch on the underside of the ring and I turn it on low so it puts out a slow, steady, pulse against him. I am rewarded with another deep moan. Picking the rope back up I bind his cock with the rope. One. Two. Three times around his length pulling it snugly against him but making sure it is not tight. Pulling the rope gently closer to me I bend down and lick the precum that is leaking out of him. Mmmm...

"Aaah Master," he purrs.

I smile down at him as I stand back up straight. I begin binding up his other leg starting at the top of his thigh, working my way down to his ankle with the same crisscross pattern that I had done on his other leg. I end the binding with another bowline knot on his right ankle. He is bound so he can't stretch his legs out straight but it's not so tight that I can't move his legs into the position that I want. I move the heels of his feet so that they are resting near his ass. His legs are spread wide open reminding me of butterfly wings.

"Damn bear, you are so beautiful bound like this; allowing me to do whatever I please to you." I whisper.

"Only for you Master."

"I am going to enjoy watching you squirm love" I mutter. I stand over him looking at my artwork that makes up Emmett bound and his cock twitching looking for me to touch it. I run three fingertips over a bear paw tattoo that is on his right hip. Again he reminds me of a living Adonis. Perfection is the only thing I see when it comes to him.

I move so I am standing alongside the bench and within easy reach of his entire body. I grab the flogger and lightly sway it back and forth across his pierced nipple and down his sternum. He trembles at my soft touches. Over and over again I softly flick the flogger all over his chest and stomach. I can feel my cock twitching, wanting to burst out of my jeans. I readjust myself before moving on. I stop with the light caresses on his upper body and move to harder flicks along his legs. I flick it once and watch it snap across his upper thigh leaving thin pink trails from the fronds.

"Shit," he hisses, not expecting the harder snap.

"What color are you bear?"

"Green Master."

I do it again on a different location of his lower body making sure to stay away from his cock. Hitting him there now while he is rock hard would be more pain than I wanted to give him. I glide over to his other side and snap the flogger in a quick procession. Feeling the small sting in my palm as I flick the flogger it helps clear my thoughts and unwinds me further.

"Ooh Master that feels good," he groans loudly.

My cock twitches at the sound of Emmett's voice. What a beautiful sound. I move my hand down to my jeans and pull the fabric away from my cock. I stroke myself a few times, running my thumbs along the tip spreading the bead of precum that has collected there all over my tip.

"My bear likes a little pain with his pleasure doesn't he?" I ask.

"Yes Master, oh God...yes please more."

I snap the flogger a few more times in various places all over his body, rewarded with a series of groans and grunts from Emmett. My cock is so damn hard it's getting almost painful, I need to find release and soon. I set the flogger down on the side of the bench next to him and unravel the rope that is holding his shaft. The extra slack on the rope I lay across his waistline and take a hold of his hard cock, pumping twice rapidly. With my hand still on his dick, I move my other hand up to pinch his nipple as my mouth glides up his body giving kisses to his slightly sweaty surface, stopping at his other nipple taking the piercing in my mouth. I lick, bite, and swirl my tongue all over his now erect pink, bud.

"What color are you baby?"

"Green Master. So very, very green. Fuucck."

I take my hand that is playing with him and move it to the cock ring, setting it to the highest speed. Emmett screams out, not really making any sense as to what he is saying. After what probably seems like forever to him, I flick the small switch to the off position and move my hands down to his ankles to yank on the rope, quickly releasing the knot on his ankle. I do the same to the other side and watch the rope fall slack. Gripping the rope I throw it on the ground under the bench at my feet.

I walk around to the top of the table and hook my hands under each of his arms. "Shift towards me babe." I instruct him.

"Stretch your legs out bear. Let me know if you need a minute." I move back to my original place and run my hands along his legs as he stretches out to his full stature.

"No Master, your submissive doesn't need a minute. Your bear is fine."

"Okay, move your legs back up the way they were so I can prep that fine ass of yours for my dick." As he moves his body back down the bench and his legs back into position, I grab the lube and hover over his leaking cock. Unbeknownst to him, I have relieved myself of the soft denim that stood as the last barrier between us.

"Hold your legs steady for a minute. Keep those hands above your head. Don't move those fucking hands."

"Yes Master."

I squirt the cold lube over his puckered hole and spread a thin even layer. Squirting a generous amount of lube onto my fingers, I reach down and slowly insert my middle finger into his tight hole.

"Damn Em, I hope you are ready for your Master. I want to fuck you hard," I murmur to him.

"Yes Master, always ready for you." he pants.

_In. Out._ Slow, steady movements. _In. Out_. I finger his ass waiting for his ring of muscle to relax. Finally, he relaxes and I stick my index finger in with my middle finger, picking up the pace of my movements. Emmett arches his back off the bench and slams it back down, moaning out my name.

"Oooh Master...yes...aahhh...that feels sooo good Master."

"Steady please. Steady bear. Don't hurt your back." I pull my fingers out and center my swollen, purple head at his backside. Grabbing the base of my junk I tenderly push my head into his heated hole. As I watch for any signs of discomfort, I enter him slowly. I feel each barbell disappear inside of him. The pleasure is immeasurable. His muscles clench and release as I inch in deeper. And just as I feel the last rung enter him, his inner ring summons me completely inside him. I close my eyes, groaning as I savor this moment before beginning a very slow and even pace of thrusts.

"Color baby..what color are you?" I grunt needing vocal confirmation from him.

"Gre...ooh...green, really green Master," he pants as he tilts his head back in pleasure.

I start thrusting hard, more erratic, as every thought in my head slips away. Gone is my terrible work week, gone are my plans for the rest of the night, gone is the rest of the weekend. The only thought in my mind now is bear and how he makes me feel. Pleasure, elation, trust, love, loyalty, and a bit of confusion. Do I only see him as my submissive or is he becoming more to me?

I grab his knees to steady myself as well as help his legs stay in a position for a deeper thrust. Looking down at us where we are connected is sexy as hell. As sweat pours down my back I watch my rock hard cock slide in and out of his tight, hot, ass as he clenches around me almost driving me to cum right there. I grunt as I hold off on my orgasm wanting this to last a while.

"Please Master may your bear cum, please...ooh...please Master?"

"Not yet bear, you may cum only after I do. If you cum before me we will end tonight with punishment dammit. DO NOT CUM" I scream out picking up my pace even more. The smacking sounds of my hips hitting the flesh of his ass is now almost deafening in the room. It echoes all around us. _SLAP. SLAP._ I slide my hand down his thigh, move over his tattoo of the bear paw, down to the base of Emmett's rock hard dick, thankful that I make him stay completely shaved. Grasping his dick at the bottom I squeeze tightly pulling up until I reach his tip; sliding my hand over the tip, spreading his moisture back down along his shaft. Thrusting like a damn stallion now, I am moments away from cumming, I swipe my thumb over his slit one last time and stick my thumb in my mouth tasting him.

"Dammit bear you taste so good babe." The flavor of him on my tongue sends me over the edge and I am cumming hard.

"Now bear! Cum for me now!"

Suddenly I feel Emmett's ass clench while he cums, making my own orgasm last even longer.

"OOOH FUUUCK" we both shout simultaneously.

I slow down my thrusting to an unhurried pace as I ride out my orgasm with one of my favorite people on this earth. I stop moving as I watch Emmett calming down from his pleasure, making sure he is as pleased as I now am. I slide out of him, wincing at the loss of his tight heat. I need to provide aftercare for him. He has spent the last few hours in the same position; I'm sure his legs are close to cramping.

"Em pick up your ass a bit and move up some. I need to go grab the lotion. "

He moves up a few inches not able to do much more than that as he looks completely spent. Taking both my hands I pull the cock ring gently up to remove it from him, earning me a soft moan. I move quickly through the playroom to a room that is off to the side, a bathroom that we always wash up in after. After I turn on the water in the jacuzzi tub I peek out of the bathroom making sure Emmett is okay and not about to fall off the bench, as he has a habit of falling asleep right after a lengthy play session. I chuckle remembering the last time he fell off a piece of furniture in the playroom, had a bruised shoulder for weeks. He is laying there not moving but doesn't seem to be asleep. I turn back to the bathroom and shut off the water, turning on the jets. I step back over to where Emmett is laying, and as I look down at him I feel my heart begin to swell, again. For over two years now this man has trusted me with his life, in and out of the playroom. It means the world to me that he is so damn trusting. Wishing I could be more like him in that area He draws me to him. The need to be close is palpable.

"Are you still awake bear?"

"Yes Master" he mutters, I am barely able to hear him. I chuckle softly.

"Come on. Let's get you up, I want to apply some lotion." I move to help him up and he grabs my wrist.

"Master, your bear would rather just get into the bath with you instead. But only if it would please you, Master." He gazes at me like he is looking to find gold behind my eyes. Hopeful that I will allow him to just spend time with me in the bath.

I smile down at him. "Alright come on then. I will apply the cream to your skin once we get out of the bath."

"Thank you Master." He sounds almost relieved. I help him up off the bench and lead him into the bathroom. I grab his wrists and guide him into the jacuzzi tub. He scoots forward giving me room to sit behind him. I climb into the tub, reaching out to take off his collar.

"I'm only going to take this off because of the water. Remember you are still collared and need to behave as such." I take off his collar and place it on the stand that is sitting beside the tub. Wrapping my arms around his waist I lean closer to him and plant small kisses along his neck and shoulders. The smell from his natural essence mixed with the salt from his sweat has my cock beginning to harden again.

He looks over his shoulder at me and smiles a very cute dimpled smile. "Master are you getting hard again?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. I will never have enough of my monkey-man." I laugh loudly.

He turns suddenly making the water splash out the side of the tub. He looks me in the eyes as I see his hand snake out to reach for my growing erection. I put my hand over his and stop him, shaking my head at him.

"I think that maybe you need another orgasm. I have had two tonight, I think it's only fair that you receive two as well."

"Whatever pleases you Master" he replies. His no longer flaccid cock is now semi-hard.

"Get up on the ledge." I command.

I push him off his knees so he is out of the water on the back ledge of the tub which holds him at the perfect level. I move to position myself over his lower half. I lean in to his mouth and give him a long, deep, sensual, open-mouth kiss. Our tongues are fighting for dominance, swirling around each other. I finally give up the fight letting him win for once and start peppering kisses down his throat, to his chest, making my way down past his stomach. I grab his shaft at the base and flatten my tongue as I run in up the underside of him as he grows rock hard.

I position my mouth over his tip and roughly suck his complete shaft down to my throat. I swallow around his swollen head making him twitch in my mouth. I place one hand on his thigh letting my thumb caress the meat of his inner leg while the other pumps his base; my mouth gliding over his erection. Swiftly I move my mouth over him faster, tighter, longer pulls on his skin. Finally I feel the tightening of his groin under my fingers, knowing he is ready to cum. I deep throat him as far as I can, slipping his head down my throat and swallow.

"Holy fuck Master, Oh please I need to come, don't stop please let me cum, please Master?" he begs loudly.

I nod my head at him and seconds later feel the long, hot spurts of salty goodness running down my throat. He mewls as he is looking at me with his cock in my mouth. I slowly pull up on his shaft and releasing him from my mouth, licking his head clean. I push up off my knees a little and place my mouth over his, kissing him deeply. He opens his lips allowing entrance and I stick my tongue in his mouth granting him a taste of himself on me. He groans and deepens the kiss. Heaven. That's the only word I can describe how I am feeling right now. I sit back on my ass and reach over to the cabinet, opening it up to grab out two washcloths. I throw one over to him and grab my body wash. I begin to wash up my own body knowing I had to finish up in order to call out for dinner.

"I am going to get out now and I want you to relax in here for the next half hour. I am going to order Chinese and set up in the living room. Your clothes are in your bedroom. Put your collar back on and meet me in the living room when you are done." I lean over and give him a few quick kisses on the lips and step out of the tub.

"Thank You Master."

I smile at him, reaching for a towel as I leave the bathroom. Walking through the playroom I decide to help him clean it all up in the morning. Tonight I just want to spend time with him relaxing. I stop in my bedroom and put on a pair of red basketball shorts and use the phone to call out for our favorite dish-sesame seed chicken. When I finish with the phone call, I walk out of the bathroom and down to the beige and dark accented living room. I turn on the TV to ESPN setting it to a low volume. I take a few pillows off my black leather couch and place them on the floor. There is a blanket that Emmett and I bought together in Chicago last year resting on the back of the couch that I grab as well, placing it open on the floor.

I can hear Emmett emptying out the tub so I go to the kitchen to grab a couple of plates and forks and set them out on the counter. Emmett comes down the stairs and stops in the doorway of the kitchen. He looks good in nothing but his collars and black boxers. I grab a few beers out of the fridge and walk over to him. I grab his hand, leading him into the living room. I sit down on the floor with my back against the couch and pull him between my legs, handing him a beer. I pull him back to snuggle against my chest as I place a loving kiss on his neck just above my collar. And as sit there waiting for our food to arrive, I wonder if I will always have to keep my life with him a secret. And more importantly, do I really want to?

* * *

><p>AN: Thanks for reading...I'd love to hear what you think!

Alright Everyone I would really love to hear what you think so send me a review please! Would you like to see Edward and his bear become a full story? See if they are ever going to become a couple or stay as Dom/sub? And who was the murdered girl in Edward's case? Did they know her personally? Let me know :)

Thank you to all the ladies in that facebook group where all that smut goes on if it wasn't for you guys this story would have never blossomed! I love you all!


	2. Chapter Two: ConfusionDoubt

**Disclaimer* Twilight and all things related to Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringment is intented. I am only allowing them to have some kinky fun together***

**_*If you are not 18 or older you need to go read something else that is not going to tramautize you for life. So beat it.*_**

A/N:Hello again! Thank you all for your amazing reviews :) So here is the next chapter to Master Edward and bear's journey. I need to thank my beta nickeyd26 for putting up with me on this ride here and thank you ladies on my facebook page that keep me entertained long enough to write this out you all are amazing! Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>HOT!<em>

_Holy shit it's hot!_

_Is my house burning down?_

_What the fuck is going on?_

I open my eyes to find myself strapped down by Emmett's humongous body. His head is laying on my chest, an arm across my stomach and a leg strewn over my thigh. Soft snores are emanating from his mouth. It's the cutest thing I have heard in a long time. But him laying on me has sweat seeping out of every pore possible. I try to climb out from underneath him only to find him tightening his grip on my side.

"Emmett." I whisper.

Nothing.

"Emmett." I say a little louder this time.

Still nothing.

"Bear." again more forcefully as I try to shake him.

This is getting ridiculous.

"DAMMIT BABY GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" I yell at last.

He stirs as he moves away from me, rolling over on his other side. Glancing at the clock I notice it is a little after one am. Damn, now that I can breathe I get up out of bed, stretching; needing a release of a different kind.

I make my way down to my music room that is secluded from the rest of the house. It is sound proofed so I can play as loud and as angry as I need to-whenever I need to. I slam the door shut and stomp my way over to the grand piano that is sitting in the corner of the room. It has been awhile since I had to play to clear my mind of all things negative. I don't play very often but when I do, my mind conforms to instant gratification.

I slide my fingers over the beauty in front of me; sitting at her feet, worshipping her for the sounds she can make. Resting my fingers on the keys I begin to do an angry rendition of the song _'It's Been Awhile' by Staind_. As I play this song I feel the anger sweep out of my body, relaxing my muscles. By the time I reach the end of the song on the third run through it's played at a normal pace and no longer enraged. I get up and feel better, calmer, straightened out.

I wonder if Emmett is still sleeping. Has he noticed my absence? What if he is awake wondering where I am? The thought causes me to pick up my pace, and I walk quickly through the house to my bedroom. As I reach the door I can hear his low snores. I push it open silently. The sight before me causes my heart to clench. Emmett is laying on my side of the bed now, holding onto my pillow. His fingers are clasped so tightly his knuckles are ghostly white. His mouth is slightly open. His body is twisted so he is laying half on his side- half on his front. And as if he senses my presence, he starts muttering in his sleep.

"Is tusa mo shaol."

What the hell was that? Sounds like he is spouting gibberish in his sleep. I internally chuckle. He reminds me of a young boy at times.

"Mmm Edward."

I gasp. Did he really just say my name in his sleep? What is he dreaming about? It's obvious Emmett is dreaming about his Dom and probably going over this evening's scene in his head or something right? Right. It's the only scenario my mind can come up with.

I glance over to the alarm clock sitting on my nightstand. Four am. How long have I been standing here staring at him? I creep closer to the bed sitting on the edge overlooking Emmett's long body.

Why is this suddenly changing in my mind? I doubt he wants more than our weekend arrangement. He hasn't given me any sign that he wanted more. Can I possibly have feelings for this man and still be a good Dom to him? I have seen many Dom's try to have both a vanilla relationship as well as their D/s time and fail miserably. I don't want to lose my bear to something stupid.

I'm not getting anywhere by sitting here watching him. Getting up, I decide to work out some of the tension that is making its way through my body again. A good workout should do the trick.

My run went well, I feel so much more relaxed today. As I climb out of the shower I am assaulted with the most mouthwatering aromas. Mild sausage along with the onions and green peppers in a Spanish omelet. That combined with the breakfast blend coffee is driving me insane. I quickly dry off and go get dressed. After putting on pair of button fly jeans and a black fitted t-shirt I head down stairs to sink my teeth into some amazing food.

"Good morning Master. Your bear has made your favorite foods this morning."

He is standing next to the island in the middle of my kitchen in nothing but his boxers and collars. I look over to the dining room to see the table set for one with a heaping plate full of food. My morning paper is on the right side of the plate and Emmett's journal is on the left.

"Good morning bear. I want you kneeling at the table when you are finished cleaning this kitchen."

"Yes Master."

I sit down at the six person dining room table that is set in the exact center of the red and black accented dining room. Directly in front of me is a large oil painting of Venice. To my left is the patio to the backyard and to the right is a large china cabinet filled with some of my most precious memorabilia.

As I pick up my fork to start on this amazing meal, I hear Emmett enter the room and move towards me. He kneels at my feet on the right side of my chair in his resting position. He is sitting on the heels of his feet, forearms are laying on his thighs, hands folded in his lap. I pick up a piece of sausage and hold it near his mouth. He waits for my silent command, a small nod, and opens his mouth waiting for me to give him his first bite. I alternate between feeding him and myself while reading the morning news.

Looks like the funeral for Alice's sister is this Tuesday. The case of the murdered young woman had turned out to be none other than Agent Brandon's younger sister Victoria.

"Em, will you be going with me to Victoria's funeral?"

"Your submissive would like to Master."

I nod my approval at him as I feed him the last of my omelet. Giving him a drink of my coffee a brilliant plan comes to mind. I had told Kate, Alice's mother, that I would help with the accommodations for the funeral guests. I have three guest rooms including Emmett's submissive room. I will need to have him out of there by Tuesday. Looking down to Emmett I explain today's activities.

"I have told Kate Brandon that I am willing to accommodate some of their out of town family and friends. Your room needs to be cleaned out today and everything moved to my room and closet. That is our morning project. This afternoon I would like to fix up the backyard for a barbecue next weekend. Might as well use this time to do it all at once."

"Master would you rather your bear's things went to his house instead," he whispers. He looks sad. Doesn't he want to share my room with me?

"No Emmett I said we were going to put them in my bedroom. Unless you have a problem with that." I challenge.

"No, no Master of course not."

"Good I am going upstairs to start. I want you to clean this up and meet me up there when you are finished."

I get up without giving him a chance to answer me. For some reason his inference about him wanting to take his things to his own apartment is upsetting to me. I take the stairs by twos. At the top I take a deep breath to calm myself. Calm down Masen, you are acting like a girl.

Emmett's room is two doors down from mine; next door to the playroom. Leaning against the door frame, I take in the room as a whole. I hadn't realized how much stuff he had accumulated here over the last two years. Does he even have anything left at his own place? Hunter green walls, brown carpeting, the room is full of earthy tones. There is a twin bed, a dresser, a love seat and a small entertainment center with a flat screen TV and an Xbox sitting on the floor. He used to spend so much time in here in the beginning. Since then, in the last few months, he is in here very little. He won't come back in here after we move all this stuff. I won't allow it. He can stay in my room with me from now on.

Moving to the dresser I notice a picture of me I from my ten year anniversary party. We are smiling at each other with our glasses raised from a toast. Jasper is in the background eyeing up Alice with a look of love on his face. I knew he has had feelings for her for a long time now. The overall feeling of the picture is adornment. You can tell right away we are all very close to each other.

"Master." Emmett announces his presence.

I turn around and he is standing next to the open door. His feet shoulder width apart and head bent down. I feel my cock begin to stir in my pants.

"Bear this is your room. You don't have to do that here. You know that." I say to him as I walk up to him, getting as close as I can without touching him.

"Let's use this bed in here one last time." I grin at him, much to his amusement.

"Whatever you desire Master." his dimples are so prominent on his smiling face.

"Well, I am going to flip the scene and I want you to do whatever you want to me as long as you stay respectful and don't ever cross boundaries."

"Really Master?"

"Yes bear. Don't make me regret this though." I walk backwards towards the bed until I feel the backs of my knees against the mattress edge. I stop and stand there allowing him to take it from there.

Emmett walks up to me with purpose, a determined look on his face. Once he gets to me he grips me by the back of my neck and pulls me to him. He looks in my eyes for a brief moment before he tenderly kisses my lips. I run my hands from his shoulders to his hips, leaving my wandering hands on his waistline. I can feel Emmett playing with the short hairs on the back of my neck, making me shiver in anticipation. His mouth moves against mine, running his tongue along my lips. I open my mouth to him allowing him entrance; eager to taste his natural flavors on my tongue. Pulling myself closer I can feel our erections hitting each other. I grind my hardening length against his pants, groaning inwardly. He stops the tender kisses and lightly pushes me so I fall on the bed. He looks down at me with a very mischievous grin. I can't help but smile back at him, loving the playfulness that seems to emanate from his every pore.

I scoot to the middle of the bed pulling his lean, body with me. I run my hands all over him, feeling his muscles ripple. His hands roam freely all over my chest, and stomach, stopping at my nipples to pull and twist them. My body arches against him in pleasure as he provides my erect peaks a pleasurable pain. I rub my hands over his back, his hips. As I reach his waistband, I start discarding his boxers pulling them down as far as I can reach with my hands. When I can no longer reach, I pull my foot up slightly hooking on to the material with my toe, pulling his clothing all the way off. Emmett reaches down to unbutton the fly of my jeans while still giving sweet torture to my nipples, and chest.

"Lift your hips baby," he rumbles.

Granting his request I lift my hips so he can slide my jeans down my legs and off my body, our clothing never moving any farther than the edge of the bed.

"I want to taste you, please...let me taste you."

"Oh baby...yes please taste me, touch me see what you do to me." I moan lifting my hips to him.

He moves so he is level with my most prized body part running his hands up my thighs. Taking my swollen tip into his mouth, he pulls lightly, swirling his tongue along the head and plunging down on my length. As he pulls upward he runs his tongue along the bars of my piercings moving each one as he passes. He moves back to the tip of my hardened tool sheathing me with his teeth nipping gently. My head falls backward in captivating joy.

"Ooh shit...bear...damn that feels good baby."

Flattening his tongue he pulls me completely into his scorching, hot, slick mouth, his hand moving to the base, gripping tightly. He uses his hands and mouth to send me waves of pleasure bringing me right to the edge.

"Baby stop I don't want to cum in your mouth." I wrench my hard cock away from his mouth. He looks up at me with heavy lidded eyes, yearning rolling off his body in waves. You can feel the desire coursing through the air around us, leaving behind a heady aura.

I grip his hips and pull him up my body kissing him, tasting my arousal on his lips. I move my hand down between us and grasp a hold of his flesh monster pumping and pulling his shaft up and down.

"Em, baby I want to feel you in me. Please."

"Aah...yeess...Master...whatever you want." he mumbles.

I stop my ministrations on his steel cock and flip over onto my stomach. I pull up to my knees and hands. I feel Emmett move behind me waiting to enter my forbidden area. He reaches under his bed to a box that holds extra condoms and lube, used for times such as this.

"Master I am sorry but I want to slap that pale ass of yours. Please will you let me spank you."

I chuckle at him, nodding my head, glad he is comfortable enough to ask for what he wants. He pushes timidly on my upper back wanting me to drop my forearms onto the bed. I do as he wishes, laying my head down on the comforter. I open my eyes looking at the wall seeing the large mirror that is hanging there. It is positioned so that I can see exactly the right height as Emmett pours the lube onto his dick. Being able to watch him fuck my ass is hot as hell. I feel the cold gel on my tight ass hole as he begins to spread the lube around.

"Dammit bear I want you to spank me please."

I hear his hiss as I watch in the mirror, he is kneading my ass checks preparing my flesh for his strike.

_SMACK._

_SMACK._

_SMACK._

He smacks my ass with a half-cocked arm. Damn that feels good. The slight sting is replaced with a warm tingly sensation that radiates all over my now pink skin.

Emmett glides over my puckered hole teasing the taut body tissue. My muscles clench around his finger as he plunges into the tight space. He finger fucks my ass for a while until I am right on the edge of exploding. Then all of a sudden he pulls his finger out and thrusts wildly into me.

"Ahhhh." I cry out at the pleasurable burn it elicits.

Once fully sheathed in my heat he pauses letting my body to adjust to the intrusion. My once tight inner ring of muscles relaxes and he begins a slow pace of thrusting, gripping my hips with his large hands. While he is impaling me over and over again I feel like my fingers are going to break off from gripping the blankets so hard. Emmett is sweating so hard I can feel droplets hitting me in the back, as it mixes with my own making a salty, smooth lubrication aiding Emmett in his gyrations into my tight hole. Grabbing my own joystick I masturbate myself to the rhythm of Emmett's thrusts. Our breathing becomes harsh and ragged as he pounds into me and I grope the hell out of my own cock.

"Oh Master I am so close. I need to cum please."

"Me too bear, harder please, I need you to fuck me harder."

Emmett slams in to my relentlessly. He is thrusting so hard that he makes my whole body lunge forward. Over and over again hitting my prostate, I feel as if my brain is being filled with my energy waiting to burst. Then all of a sudden I feel the tightening in my groin, and I spurt my hot cum all over my chest and Emmett's blanket.

"Oh ffffuuuucccckkkkk...I'm cuummminnnggg baby." I drawl.

As I sense the after tingles coursing down my legs and groin I feel Emmett still as he blows his load in my ass.

"Aaahh...Mmmmaaasssttterrr...feeelllssss sssooooo gooooddd." He moans tilting his head back in ecstasy.

_Euphoria._ That's the last thought that comes to mind as Emmett and I fall to our sides cuddling, falling into a deep sleep.

Mmmm. I feel so sated right now. I haven't even opened my eyes yet but I know what I will find when I do. I can feel Emmett's arms wrapped around my waist, his body conforming to my own.

I turn to my other side so that I can look at him while he is still asleep. His hair has the patented "just fucked" look, his dimples are defined ever so lightly in his slumbering smile. He has a five o'clock shadow starting, he is beautiful, a work of art. Leaning forward I pepper his face with kisses. His forehead, cheeks, lips. I see him starting to stir so I place a swift kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Bear you have to wake up, we have been sleeping for a while now." I look over at the clock. One in the afternoon.

HOLY SHIT! We slept for two hours!

"Come on, get up. We need to start cleaning out this room."

"Yes Master." He says, obviously reluctant to get out of bed, but his obedience wins out.

"I know I normally pick out your clothes but just put on an old pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I am going to start making some room for you."

I get up off the bed and start putting my clothes back on as he nods at my request.

After an hour of making room for Emmett in my closet and entertainment center I decide to go check back in with Emmett to see how he is doing. I am shocked when I walk into his room again. It almost looks as if he has never even stayed in here besides the piles of his belongings on the bed and floor.

"Wow you work fast bear."

He startles at the sound of my voice, turning around quickly to look at me. He is hiding something behind his back. I become nervous, anxious to know what he is hiding in my house.

"What are you hiding Emmett."

"Master it's a picture of us at the bar last year."

He saunters over to me holding out the picture. I take it from him and gaze at it. We are giving each other an intense look from across the bar. The desire shining in our eyes, our need for each other is like there is another entity in the bar with us, it's unequivocal. If he and I are across the bar looking at each other who the hell took this picture? Fear runs through me.

"Um Emmett who the hell gave you this picture?"

"Agent Swan did Master. It was a week after this party that she gave me this."

What if she knows about us?

"What did she say when she gave it to you?"

"She said she thought I would want this picture. I am the only one who has one."

I am confused on why she would give Emmett this intense photo of us. I look up at him and he is getting nervous, biting his lip, lightly sweating. He must think I am mad that he was given something by Bella.

"Well I think we need to hang this right by our bed." I smile at him letting him know that I am not mad at him. He gives me a timid answering smile.

"Babe, take a pile of something and let's get this move started."

I take the picture in one hand and grab a stack of DVD's and head for the bedroom. I put the stack of movies down on the floor next to my entertainment center. Standing in front of my large mirror I tuck the photo of us into one of the corners making sure it stays put.

"Master where would you like me to put these?"

He is holding a large pile of jeans. I show him his drawers in the dresser and we finish off the rest of his room.

Finally we are finished with the small move between Emmett's room and my own. The only items left in this room are the bed and dresser. It pains me to see this room empty, yet it makes me feel content at the fact Emmett will no longer be staying in here. I wonder when I should tell him my decision to not let him move back.

"Master what are we going to do with all the extra things that don't fit in your room?"

"For right now let's take them to your apartment until a later time."

"Sure thing Master. I will go pull my truck out of the garage and we can pack it up."

I nod as he leaves the room. I felt it would be safer to hide his truck for a good portion of the time that he is here with me, hoping to keep the suspicions down at work. I'm not so sure I want to hide anymore though. I have been hiding for two years now. I can't seem to remember why I even started concealing this in the first place.

With the truck all packed up and lunch in our bellies we head off to Emmett's apartment across town from my house. The drive finds us in a comfortable silence, only the radio playing a soft tune. My hand rests on his knee as he drives. He is bobbing his head in sync with the music. I watch the city pass by us thinking about this coming week at work. It's going to be a long week again. That's all I seem to have lately are long work weeks.

I am pulled out of my internal reverie as the Jeep comes to a stop. We are parked outside of the apartment building where Emmett has been staying for the last three years. We grab his entertainment center and make our way inside. Holy fuck. It doesn't look as if he even lives here anymore. His stark white apartment has the bare essentials and that's it besides a few pictures hanging on the wall. Not a mess in sight. Nothing laying out in the open. Not even a magazine laying out on the coffee table. What the hell is going on?

"What the fuck, dude where is all your shit."

I glare at him. Has he been staying with someone else besides me? Was he robbed? What the fuck?

"Some of it was at your house and I didn't have much to begin with." He shrugs like it's no big deal.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude."

"You weren't Master. When I'm not at your house, I don't do anything but play video games and watch movies."

"Don't you have any friends?"

"Sure I have Jasper, Jacob and I have hung out a couple of times, and I see Rosalie a lot with Alice. Then of course I have you."

"Anyone outside of work, Emmett." I ask incredulously.

"No Sir, I am not close to anyone. I keep to myself mostly. I'm sorry did I do something to upset you? You know I would never slip up at work and out us or talk about our agreement don't you Master? I would never put you in danger."

His body is rippling with tension. Tension that I have unnecessarily gave him.

"No bear you didn't upset me. I'm sorry for overreacting. It just caught me by surprise. Let's finish this so we can go home ok?"

He nods in my direction without actually looking at me. Damn he is still upset by my verbal vomit.

We finish unpacking his Jeep and decide to go back to my place instead of eating at a restaurant, which we would normally do on a Saturday. On the drive home Emmett puts a cd on turning the music up a bit. I frown at him. I don't like feeling like I am being ignored.

_Staind._

That's who is playing through the cd player at the moment. That's got to be a coincidence, right? I was playing this band on the piano this morning. We had gone to the concert together last fall. I wonder if he bought the cd afterwards. I didn't know he was a fan. A couple of songs go by before I notice Emmett has been singing softly along with the lyrics. He has a nice voice, I never noticed before. One of my favorite songs comes on and I decide to listen to him singing it.

_You're my world_

_The shelter from the rain_

_You're the pills_

_That take away my pain_

_You're the light_

_That helps me find my way_

_You're the words_

_When I have nothing to say_

_And in this world_

_Where nothing else is true_

_Here I am_

_Still tangled up in you_

_I'm still tangled up in you_

_Still tangled up in you_

_You're the fire_

_That warms me when I'm cold_

_You're the hand_

_I have to hold as I grow old_

_You're the shore_

_When I am lost at sea_

_You're the only thing_

_That I like about me_

What the hell? Is there a reason he is singing this a bit louder than the rest of the songs? Why does he have to sing this particular song?

Is he trying to tell me something? No, no it's just one of his favorite songs. Get a hold of yourself Masen, not everything is about you.

I decide to tune Emmett out in fear of my mind making more ridiculous assumptions. I stare blankly out the passenger side window until we pull up in front of my two-story, white Victorian style home. I get out quickly needing a few minutes away to clear my head.

I storm inside heading for the den and turn on a football game. Turning the volume to a level that makes it hard to hear someone talking to you, I sit back and absorb myself in the game.

I smell the oil for Emmett's Buffalo wings cooking. I must have fallen asleep for a little while. Getting up I turn off the TV and head into the kitchen to see what Emmett is doing. I walk in to find him sitting at the island writing in his leather bound journal. The journal I forgot to read this morning. I walk up to him and lean my back against the counter.

"Yum. Those wings sure do smell good bear. When do you think they will be ready by?"

"Thank you Master. Dinner should be done shortly."

"Okay, great. Whenever you are done with your journal I would like to read it." He hands the journal to me immediately.

"I'm done sir just making sure that I did your writing assignment."

I nod at him, grabbing a soda out of the fridge. Taking both the soda and journal I stride over to the dining room table and open up to the last entry.

**~Bear, what is one thing that you would change in our arrangement~**

_Master,_

_Your bear would like to say that he would not change a thing. He knows this is not an answer that you are looking for so he will try to come up with a legitimate answer for you._

_I am sorry to say this is taking me longer than normal to come up with the answer to your question. He loves the weekend arrangement that we have together. The only thing that he would like would be more time with you. He knows he can't ask for more because of the working relationship he has with you, however may he suggest respectfully to you that you and him spend maybe one workday a week together. He is sorry if he has overstepped his boundaries as your submissive, but you did ask and he cannot and will not lie to you. He hopes that you will grant him this wish to spend as much time with you as possible._

_Sincerely,_

_Your bear_

**~Why would you want to spend more time with me? I don't understand but we may discuss this again at a later time.~**

**~Your next assignment is to tell me what you think about moving in with me~**

I place his journal next to me just as Emmett is walking towards me with a plate of his famous Buffalo Wings, carrots, celery and a heaping dose of blue cheese dip. Wow my man can cook!

My bear is still standing to my right waiting for instructions on where to eat. I look up at him and instruct him to eat with me.

"Go fix yourself a plate and bring it in here with me."

I dig in to the spicy concoction that Emmett brought with him from Buffalo, where he grew up. The wings are jumbo sized heavily dipped in hot sauce and butter and deep fried to a crispy perfection. Dipping it into the blue cheese the heat from the warm wing melts the cheese into a gooey, melted goodness. The crisp bite of the carrots and celery end the meal perfectly. The only thing missing is a beer. I get up to grab two beers for us and sit back down handing one to Emmett. It's too late to even try and work on the backyard tonight I guess it will have to wait for another day.

"I was thinking that tonight you could have some personal time. You can go and do whatever you would like, as long as you remain inside the house."

I needed time to set myself straight from getting too overloaded with emotions. I wanted to just go to my bedroom and pop in a movie.

"Master, if it would be okay with you, your bear would like to spend his personal time with you. He would like to do whatever you had planned for yourself."

I am overwhelmed with joy that Emmett wants to spend his personal time with me. The thought confuses me a bit. Why am I so happy that he wants to spend quality time together? It's not like we don't spend time together every weekend and during the week. I look at him and feel warmth spread through me to drown out the confusion.

"Well I was only going to watch a movie in bed. You may join me if you would like."

"Yes please Master," he says, a wide smile growing on his lips.

I stand up wanting to get cleaned up and ready for bed. I walk over to where he is seated still and tilt his chin up to look at me.

"Clean this up and meet me upstairs whenever you are done with the dishes and your shower."

"Yes Master."

My heart beats a little faster than normal at this glorious god of a man. I am unsure of my reaction to him recently. I don't want to scene with him right now so why is my heart trying to beat out of my chest? I shake my head as if trying to clear the confusion. I shower quickly and put on just a pair of light blue boxer briefs and head into the bedroom. I look at the stack of DVD's that Emmett and I now have. Between the two of us there must be two hundred movies here. I look up as I hear Emmett approaching the room. He is kneeling in the hallway on the left side of the door. This afternoon of him being allowed in my room unannounced and without permission was solely due to moving his stuff over here. I am proud of him; even though today was not a normal day for me he still remembers his rules.

"Master."

"I see you bear. Come in. What movie would you like to watch?" He strides into the room sitting on the edge of my king size bed.

"Master if you don't mind your bear would like to watch Cold Creek Manor."

I smile because he knows this is one of my favorite movies.

"Sure."

I move to the dresser that holds my small flat screen TV and Blu-Ray player. After popping in the thriller I tread back to my king size bed and climb in next to Emmett, who has already splayed his body over a large portion of the mattress. That man makes any bed look small.

As the movie starts I pull the mammoth of a man closer to my right side ghosting my fingertips over his muscular bicep. He lets out a soft sigh settling farther into a relaxed position. I could do this forever, just sitting here loving this massive man. Wait...WHAT? That can't be right. I think this cuddling with each other is getting to my head.

"Emmett it's hot. Move over dammit."

I see him look at me with confusion in his eyes as me untangles from me and moves to the opposite side of the bed. There that's better. Now I can think straight. I'm not sure what came over me for a minute there. Was I that lonely for attention? Surely not, seeing as Emmett and I spend a lot of time with each other. I am trying to convince myself that I am still in Dom mode because my body is aching to be near him. I glance over at my bear seeing him with this arms folded across his chest with a frown on his face is puzzling to me. Why is he so upset? I thought he liked this movie? Maybe he wanted to be closer to me; after all it is our weekend together. I am aching to grab his hand at least, so I do just that. I reach over and grab his hand pulling him a bit closer. There that's better. I feel myself drifting off to an easy sleep.

* * *

><p>On a normal Sunday I would remove Emmett's collar around six in the evening. Today I need to remove it earlier so that we can fix up the backyard. And after a call to Jasper this morning, he is coming over to help with the renovations.<p>

Morning glides by like every other morning; work-out, shower and then breakfast in the kitchen at nine am. I help clean up the breakfast dishes with Emmett, a bit apprehensive of how he is going to react to me taking off the collar early.

"Emmett once we are done here I need to remove your collar." He looks despondent.

"Master, have I upset you? Is that why you want to remove your collar?"

"Dammit Bear. No you have not upset me in the least baby. I have to remove the collar because Jasper is coming over to help with the backyard. I don't want to have to worry about work right now ok?"

He nods his head at me. "Yes Master."

"Turn around and kneel down please."

He turns so he is facing away from me and kneels. I remove his collar and kiss the spot on his neck where the clasp of the lock lays.

"Thank you bear for your submission to me this weekend. You have made your Master proud of you and I cannot wait until next weekend."

I step back so he can stand up, I grab his hand as soon as he is straightened out.

"I need to set some rules for today. You are not to use my given name in front of Jasper. You must remember while he is here to not act as if you are my submissive. We are going to act like we are two friends who are just hanging out fixing up a backyard. Do you understand?"

"Sir if I can't say your name how will I get your attention if I need to?" He pulls my hand so we can sit on the stools by the island. I put his collar in my back pocket, sitting down I put my other hand on his knee.

"Be creative but in a way that's not going to reveal our true nature."

"You mean I can't call you sugar muffin or anything like that?"

I bellow out a laugh.

I shake my head at him. Only he would come up with something like that. I can see him switch from submissive mode to his more playful, carefree, fun loving side. Everyone flocks to this Emmett. He is the center of attention when in a room, always a jokester.

"In what context would you ever call me sugar muffin?"

"I will slip it in there sometime today just you watch." he crows.

I laugh. Only Emmett would do something like that.

"Alright, alright. Go get a shower in and then Jasper will be here at eleven, so we have a half hour to get ready."

"Sure thing pumpkin." He says grinning like a fool.

I shake my head at him. Why did I give him the option of coming up with a nickname for me? Have I lost my mind?

Jasper shows up a little after eleven, I feel refreshed from how this morning has turned out so far. I hope today will stay this nice.

The backyard is now completely redone and it looks good. There is a new barbeque pit with tan bricks outlining the in-stone grill. The concrete patio is fixed from all the cracks and holes, the basketball hoop is painted and the patio furniture is now cleaned and repaired. I hadn't realized how much I had let this place to go shambles. Jasper, Emmett and I are sitting along the stone grill/fireplace drinking a beer and making light conversation when Emmett happens to ask a loaded question.

"So Jazz, have you seen Alice in the last few days? How is she?"

Jasper looks heart broken, and I finally notice how disheveled he actually appears.

"Yeah I have been seeing Alice a lot lately. Vicky's death has really taken its toll on Ali. She can barely eat, she has nightmares, in no way is she the Alice we all know and love."

"Is she staying in her apartment alone?" I ask not wanting to come right out and ask him about them.

"No, she has been staying with me the last two days. Kate and Garrett have asked her to come home but she told them she didn't want to be too far away from the case even though she can't work on it."

"When are the Brandon's coming in to town?" asks Emmett.

"They arrived early this morning. It's the only way I was able to come help out here. I can't stand leaving her. I went to the store Friday night only to come home to Alice in the middle of the kitchen in the middle of a jambalaya mess. She was trying to make me my favorite meal or something," he drawled. His Texan accent seems to be more prominent when he is upset like this.

"Yeah pisses me off we don't even have a single fucking suspect yet," I exclaim, slamming the beer bottle down.

"Hey now sugar muffin don't be breaking that bottle. Dang we haven't spent all morning cleaning this for you to just make another mess." he laughs, winking at me.

"Ha! Yeah and Eddie would just blame it on us and have you clean it up!"

I bristle at the seemingly innocent comment but he isn't that far off with his speculation.

"Alright. Alright. Back to our conversation please. I can't even begin to imagine who would want to hurt Victoria. She was always well loved."

"Yeah all the Brandon's are good people. Edward didn't you grow up next to them?" Jasper asks as he takes another sip of his beer.

I nod thinking back to my childhood next door neighbors. The Brandon's were a friendly, loving, carefree family. Garrett was my father's best friend. Kate and my mother have been inseparable ever since Alice and I were learning to walk. Alice was deemed a weird hippy child growing up. Everyone thought she was strange, and not in a cool way despite me and my friends hanging out with her almost every day after school. Now that we are adults, she is one of my favorite team members in our unit at the FBI. Victoria, Alice's little sister, was always the girly-girl type. She was the head cheerleader in high school and everyone loved her. She had the most beautiful vibrant red hair I have ever seen on anyone before. Very pretty-looked a lot like Kate.

"Yeah they have never been anything but nice to anyone that would give them a chance." I replied after finishing my revelry.

"How old was she? She looked really young." I hear Emmett say as I pull myself back to the present.

"Well Alice is thirty-one and Victoria was two years younger than her," he replies as his phone goes off.

"I bet that's Alice now. I told her to call me when she was ready for me to come home."

We say our goodbyes to Jasper and head inside to make some lunch.

"See I told you I could slip in the sugar muffin comment."

"Yeah, yeah, you are so funny. I wonder why Jazz didn't say anything about it though."

He shrugs at me as he starts assembling our lunch; roast beef sandwiches. I sit down on the stool and watch him do his magic. If he only knows one thing it would be cooking.

We ate in silence for a while, just enjoying being near each other.

"Edward, Emmett whispers, "Maybe he didn't say anything because he knows."

Fuck does Jasper know our secret? I don't know whether to feel relieved or terrified.

* * *

><p>AN: Oh no! What is gonna go down now? Well either way Master Edward and bear are asking for your reviews they would love to hear what you think :) Hugs from bear or Master Edward or both if you feel like me :) Thank you all for reading :)


	3. Chapter Three:Confessions

A/N:

*Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyers owns the world of Twilight. I just like to mix up the characters and have some fun with them. If you are not 18+ you need to move on as this story will traumatize you for life, so beat it!

WARNING:

This chapter is full of angst. If this is not your thing, then please move on from my story. I will try and mend the pain as quickly as I can but it won't be for awhile... This is your only warning. I would grab a couple of tissues as you may have a few tears. This has the funeral of the character Victoria. I want to thank those that sent me reviews. I am floored by your responses to this story so far! I need to thank my pre-reader Nocturnal Emissions and my wonderful beta Texasbella for dealing with the many tears that have come with this chapter...you both are amazing!

BBD Chapter Three

Confessions

Work yesterday was pathetically boring. Usually Mondays are so busy I can't even catch my breath. I had repeatedly caught myself thinking about the upcoming weekend instead of working on the butt load of paperwork that I have to get done by Wednesday. Today is the funeral, so it will be quite hard to get anything done. The bureau has given our entire unit time off to attend and show support for Alice and her family. Today I will watch a childhood friend get buried.

The vigorous workout I had endured this morning had not helped to ease some of the odd queasy feeling that has been tormenting me all morning long. Either I am really sick, or something is going to happen today, something really bad.

After quickly showering, dressing in a dark grey Armani suit and a dark blue tie,and eating my breakfast of oatmeal and blueberries, I head off to Emmett's to pick up him in my Aston Martin V12 Vanquish, a treasured vehicle of mine. I honk the horn twice, sitting back to wait for Emmett to come out of his apartment.

After a short amount of time I see the door open and I can't help my jaw from dropping as I take in the sight before me. I don't care if you are gay, straight, red, black or white, this man walking towards my car is a god personified. He is wearing a Hickey Freeman 'Addison A Series' Pinstripe Suit, with a wide black and red checkered tie. He had shaved his head so he is completely free of body hair minus his eyebrows. I am surprised the shaved head looks good on him.

"Hello, Edward, how are you?" he announces as he sits in my passenger seat.

"Wow you're looking good, Em," I beam at him. "What's with the sudden hair change?"

He laughs as he runs his hands over his head. "Honestly, I couldn't tame the hair down so I had gotten frustrated and shaved it all off."

"Are you kidding me I have had that problem since I was five." To accentuate my statement I point to the bronze hair that sticks out on its own, with no gel, into an elaborate disarray of "just-fucked" hair.

He chuckles as I pull into the driveway of the large, opulent cathedral. It's beautiful. I pull into the space right next to Jasper and Alice. They are behind Alice's canary yellow 911 Turbo Porsche. Just beyond the magnificent beast I see the twins, Carlisle and Esme Cullen, parked and standing next to Carlisle's Black Mercedes S55 AMG. I turn off the purring engine and move to climb out when I feel Emmett's hand clamp down on my thigh. I scrutinize his face, seeing anxiety ripple across his features.

"What's wrong, bear?"

"Sir, I am worried what everyone will think about us showing up together. I don't want you to have to worry about us getting out. I am so sorry Edward, I wasn't thinking when I said yes to..." I cut him off from finishing his sentence.

"Emmett, I am the one who asked to you come here today with me and I am beginning to not care if we are outed. Living with this secret is beginning to be a chore. Let's talk about this later okay? No one is going to be paying attention today I can assure you." I pat him on his thigh as he takes a deep breath in and nods. Together we open our doors and step out. A loud gut wrenching cry fills the air as Alice runs from the depths of Jasper's arms straight into mine.

"Oh Eddie, I can't believe my baby sister is gone. How am I going to get past this?" I let her cry it out on my shoulder as her tears run down her face and drip onto my suit jacket. As she starts to calm down a bit I kiss her forehead and lean in to whisper in her ear.

"Alice you can get past this, you need to get past this. You are compassionate, strong and incredibly brave. And you need to harness those qualities and be here for your mother."

She is going to need you today, Alleycat. Can you hold it together for her, please, for me?" As I whisper the encouraging words, I see her visibly working to calm herself down.

By the time I pull back to look her straight in the face she is wiping away the last of her tears with a determined look on her face. She nods and I begin to notice the crowd that has gathered around us.

The other agents in the unit are now surrounding us, waiting for a moment to give their condolences to Alice. Even Jacob Black is waiting on the other side of the Porsche. The only one I don't see is Rosalie Hale, who is Alice's partner at the Bureau.

"Thank you all for being here with me and my family. I can't even begin to express my gratitude to you all. Behind my parents there is a reserved pew for you all to sit in. Rosalie is there now to hand you all a single white rose for you to give to Vicky when you do your final walk through as I am doing my eulogy. I hope you don't mind that I did that?" We all shake our heads as Jasper comes up next to me and Alice and wraps his arms around her waist.

"Ali, we would all be more than happy to do this for you and Vicky." And because I am standing close, I am the only one to hear his added whisper of, "I love you."

She curls against his chest as we start walking towards the entrance. Alice's tears are still wet and staining my jacket so I slip it off and roll up my sleeves to my elbow. I sling the material over my forearm and start to walk inside the cathedral as Jacob's voice stops me in my tracks.

"Hey Eddie, have you ever been to any of the reservations around here?" He is staring at my black braided bracelet that is on my left wrist, you know the one that matches Emmett's.

I am not sure where he is going with this so I shrug and answer him truthfully.

"Of course Jake, the reservations are not that far from us. Why do you ask?"

"I was just noticing your arm band there. Those are specially made for soul mates, the term used for that particular braiding is 'Unbreakable'. Did you know that?"

My face is a mask of calm but my insides are screaming at Jacob. Screaming to mind his own business, screaming at me to run, screaming at me to panic, but I don't do any of that. Instead, I smile at him and lie through my teeth.

"Nope. I guess that old woman forgot to tell me." All of a sudden I hear a voice behind me, startling me slightly.

"Jacob, I didn't know you were Quileute? Maybe he got that done on a different reservation and it means something else, its very bad of you to make assumptions like that. Agent Masen."

Jacob harrumphs and stalks off towards our pew as Bella moves to take his place next to me.

She ever so slightly dips her head so she is not looking at me directly in the eyes but it still looks as if she is looking at my face to an outsider. To me, she is acknowledging me as a Dominant. Holy Fuck. I am so screwed. I am suddenly filled with horror and rage. I am not ready to lose my job because the head agent knows what I do on the weekends.

"Isabella," I reply coarsely. She leans in, her mouth centimeters away from my ear and whispers, "You and I have the same reasons to fear each other. Neither one of us want to lose our jobs so let's keep this between us. Agree?"

I nod my head once and walk off to the pew with her in tow. I reach the pew, taking a seat next to Emmett as Kate Brandon turns around from the pew in front of us, grabbing a hold of my hand.

"Eddie, sweetie, thank you for coming honey. Heidi and Marcus Volturi will follow you to your house after and then Aro and Caius Levenhart will be with us when we come for dinner. Tanya will be there at some point tonight. I have everything all set with the caterer. Thank you for allowing us to use your home for this."

"Katie, you know better than that. You guys were a second family to me growing up. Of course my house is open for you, as well as any of your guests. It's the least I can do." I give her hand a light squeeze before letting go. I sit back against the pew noticing Emmett and I are extremely close to each other and he is being very quiet.

Leaning my head in closer to him, I whisper in his ear, "Why are you being so quiet?"

"I am just thinking." He won't even look in my direction so I know something is wrong.

He never acts like this with me. Maybe he is scared that if he talks to me someone will assume we are together?

I shrug off the comment as Bella is about to sit down and everyone in the pew is shifting down so I am on the edge and Emmett's body is squished up beside me. The only way to have everyone be comfortable in the now crowded space is to put my arm along the back of the seat and allow Emmett to sit up against my side, tucked into my arm. I feel, more than see, him relax just as the priest begins the ceremony.

It's a nice ceremony; some people have written poetry, a couple of girls sang together, Kate read a couple of scriptures, and Alice is just about to do her eulogy. As she begins her message our pew stands up and walks towards Victoria in slow procession, each of us taking a few minutes to say our final goodbyes as we drop our rose into the casket. Just as I reach the casket, I hear Alice talking about how best friends are hard to find and should be cherished because you don't know how long you may have with them. I glance at Emmett's retreating form as I say my good-byes to Victoria and place the rose along the side of her body, just as a few tears slip out.

As I am walking back to my seat I am filled with sorrow, and dread. I don't know what I would do if I was to lose someone close to me. I take my seat, glancing at Emmett again, he is looking at me with tears in his eye. As I sit down, a deep emotional revelation comes to me. The man sitting next to me is my best friend. He has been my best friend for quite some time now. He is not just my submissive to me anymore, I'm not even sure when it changed, when he became more...but he did. I know that this will never be more than a friendship combined with our D/s relationship, but now that I can put a name to how I feel for him. I feel better about us.

As the end is nearing I feel a sense of dread pick up, I am panicking for some reason. What the hell is wrong with me? My stomach is clenching in pain, holy shit, what the hell is going to happen?

I feel Emmett fidgeting beside me so I take a deep breath in, turning to see him watching me from the corner of his eye. Anxiety is the prominent look on his face, his eyebrows form a deep "V" in his forehead as he rapidly searches my eyes, looking for clues.

"Master? Please, I need you to tell me what the hell is going on with you," he whispers.

"I don't know, bear. I have no fucking clue." Damn, I need to get some fresh air before this goes from nausea to straight vomiting.

I stand and move swiftly down the aisle, opening the backdoor, I take the deepest breath that I can manage as a beautiful, long-legged, sexy blond steps up to me.

"Hey there sweetface, you okay?" she purrs, taking a drag of a cigarette. I haven't smoked in years but suddenly that's all I want.

"Hey. Do you happen to have one of those for me?" I nod towards the smoke.

"You can have anything you want, baby." She stalks up to me, swaying her hips widely.

"Well, I was asking for a cigarette, but thanks for the offer."

She hands me a menthol, grinning like that damn cat from that movie, someone in Wonderland. Oh yeah that's right, Alice, and that shit-eating grin cat's name is Chesire. Now I remember. For some reason this woman makes me awfully nervous. I wonder if my upset stomach is due to her outrageously flirting with me. It's not that she is not beautiful, she is, I just don't want to deal with the girl at the moment. Where the hell is my bear? Why hasn't he looked for me yet?

"So dollface, what can I call you the next time I am screaming in bed?"

WHAT THE FUCK?

She has got to be high or something. Who in their right mind acts like that? I shake my head at her, not giving her an answer. Thankfully my saving grace just came out of those doors, frantically looking for me. I let out a low whistle to get his attention. He hears the whistle and comes racing towards me. I can't help the smile that is now plastered to my face.

"Mas...um...Edward, is everything all right?" I nod my head at him.

"Yes Em, I was just coming out here to catch my breath when I came upon...I'm sorry, what is your name?"

"Mmm, Edward huh? Well Eddie, you can call me anything you want to, but the name my parents gave me is Tanya," her voice comes out husky like she just smoked a pack of non-filtered cigarettes in a matter of minutes. It's really gross sounding.

"Okay then. Well Tanya, it was nice to meet you but Edward and I have to go set up for guests that we having stay at the house." Emmett is puffing his chest up like he is ready to head into battle. There is no way that he is jealous so what is with the damn show? I shake off the thought and turn to leave with Emmett.

"Tanya, my friend here is right, I need to leave after I say a quick goodbye to my friends. Come now, Em."

We head back inside to search out Alice and let her know that we are leaving and we will see her shortly. I walk into the church only to find the Brandon family dealing with a distraught young man yelling at Alice to let him see Victoria. This man is greasy looking with his long blond hair pulled back into a ponytail that sits low on the back of his neck. He is pale, like really pale, and his clothes are wrinkled like he has been wearing them for days.

"Alice, you need to let me see her dammit. I wasn't allowed at the wake, let me see her before she gets buried dammit!"

"James, back off! You will not be going near my sister! She is probably dead because of you and that whore!"

Suddenly the world shifts into fast motion as I see James lifting his arm, ready to throw a punch at Alice. Emmett and I go running for the bastard as Alice is lifting her arm to slap him right back when all of a sudden Kate throws a wicked punch, squaring up with James' once straight nose.

CRACK.

She broke his nose! James starts howling at the pain, blood running down his nose as he runs down the aisle to get away from the commotion. Emmett and I immediately jump into action to make sure everyone is okay. I see Garrett apologizing to the priest for the unwelcome intruder. Alice, Rosalie, Jasper, hell, even Jacob are all making sure that Kate's hand is okay. Wait, where the hell is Emmett? I turn to find him walking towards the backdoor. I am willing to bet my life he is going to find James and start a fight with him. Damn. Better end this now, I think as I go running after Emmett.

He has found James by the time I can get to him. The two of them are screaming at each other and circling one another. Emmett is a predator going after his prey, James. I stand back to watch the scene go down without interfering, as long as Emmett doesn't throw that punch then I don't care what happens. Just as Emmett takes a step closer to James, the bastard flips out and starts screaming obscenities at my best friend, the only person who knows who I am, my savior.

"Fucking faggot, get the fuck away from me!" James throws a punch, connecting with the side of a completely stunned Emmett.

Red. Everything is now tinted in a blood-red.

A loud guttural growl rips through my chest straight out my mouth as I lunge for James, tackling him to the ground. I get three good punches in, hitting random places on his face as I hear a low whisper. A whisper so low I shouldn't have been able to hear it above all the noises my hits were making, a whisper that stops me immediately.

"Master. Please, I need you."

I jump away from James who is now laying on the ground clutching his face; blood and tears falling freely, staining everything around him. I back up until I can see Emmett in my peripheral. He is staring at me, eyes wide, an incredulous expression contorting his features.

"Oh god baby, please tell me you are okay," I hiss. I look over in time to see a single stray tear run down his face before he angrily wipes it away.

"I don't want to lie to you, Edward, but I need to leave, please get me out of here." His cry for help almost breaks me in two. Nothing matters to me right now but to help him, to fix this, to take away the pain. Again my anger spikes wanting to pummel the crap out of that jackass, however Emmett is more important right now.

"Come on, love. Forget saying goodbye, we are leaving now." Grabbing his shoulder, I steer him to my car, opening the passenger door for him before I walk around the front of my car. As I open the door and move to climb in, I see Jasper standing on the stairs of the cathedral looking directly at me. He holds up his phone, showing it to me before starts messing with it. I am confused for a spilt second before I hear the ring tone that sounds when a text message comes in. I quickly get in the car before I open my phone to read his message.

~E~

I caught the end of the shit storm James caused. Get Em out of here and we will see you in an hour. Alice will understand. Take care of him.

~J~

Slamming the door shut, I start the car and race out of the parking lot, cutting off a car and almost causing an accident.

Holy Fuck! Jasper knows!

Well...he knows something is going on between us. What am I going to do? I feel as though my world is crashing down around me. A quiet sob pulls me from my internal mourning.

"Master, please tell me you are not mad at me." This is what he needs, his Master controlling the situation. It doesn't matter that he is not collared, we both need this right now.

"Why on earth, bear, would you think I was mad at you love? You did nothing wrong. That sorry excuse of a man is in the wrong." I look over at him and he is barely holding on. Reaching out to his knee, I give it a light squeeze. I try to take my hand back but Emmett grabs it and puts it back on his knee, needing me close to him right now.

"Please you have to tell me what's bothering you bear. Let me fix this, help you, something."

Leaning against the door of my Vanquish, he begins to explain his past and what bothered him today at the church.

"I was brought up in a household that easily forgot that I existed. My parents had two children, not to mention the four foster kids that lived with us while growing up. My sister, Kara, was the center of attention in the house. She got everything she ever asked for. I don't know if you know this or not, but my parents are two women. I have two lesbians for mothers and a father I never knew. I knew I was gay at a very early age. My parents acted as if I didn't exist. Kara, who is also gay, became everything they ever wanted in a child. I left home at the age of seventeen and never looked back."

I had to pull over in the middle of his heartbreaking story so I could concentrate on what he was telling me.

"The night before I left, I was sitting in my room reading a book when my biological mother came in drunk, yelling at me for being a failure. According to her, I was a faggot who didn't deserve to live. Having James throw that shit in my face was like a a fucking bomb bringing me right back to my own personal hell. Then, when you jumped in and fought for me, it gave me hope that maybe one day I can move past being a faggot."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, EMMETT?" He flinches like I threw hot boiling water on him.

"You are not a faggot, bear. I understand that you are one hundred percent gay, but that doesn't make you a faggot. You are so much more than a stupid ass label. You are strong, brave, loving, kind, you are one of the best people I know. I wish I was more like you. So carefree and easy to get along with."

I run my hands through my hair, pulling as hard as I can, causing some of the hairs to pull out. I don't want to tell him about Irina yet. Even though it's been two years since her, I don't want to deal with it. I start the car back up and face him, "Look, we have company coming to the house shortly and I need to be there to make sure everything is set up with the caterer. I want to talk about this later, okay?"

He nods as I ease the car back onto the highway. Today has been total shit. All I want to do is crawl in bed and never come back out. How can people treat a child so poorly, like they are trash easily thrown away? Life given is the most precious gift on earth.

Pulling into my drive, I notice the catering truck along with my parents car parked off to the side. Oh fuck. This is not how I want to spend the rest of today. My parents are flamboyant and carefree, it's as if they never left the sixties or something. If you don't watch them carefully they will fuck on the first flat surface that they can find.

I park the car, grab my keys and wonder why the hell my parents are in my house and how the fuck they got in there. I try to twist the handle, expecting it to be unlocked, instead it is shut up nice and tight. I unlock my front door, entering slowly and listening for movement, but my house is eerily silent. Where the hell are they? I didn't see them at the funeral but maybe they rode in with someone else. Just in case, I start checking downstairs, looking in the open rooms.

"Mom? Dad? You guys here?" I walk into what was my kitchen this morning, now its the headquarters for the party that is set to take place in a half in hour. It is then that I remember my back door being unlocked to let in the catering company.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Masen, we have everything all set for the party. The only thing we have left to do is set up tables and chairs in the backyard," a short, balding man says to me. I curtly nod and stomp off, eager to find my parents before the first wave of guests arrive. I decide to go change my clothes quickly before returning to my search.

I have just pulled on a pair of beige Dockers and a navy blue polo shirt when I hear a woman's giggle. What the...? I hear it again. I look out my door and down the hall to see my playroom door wide open. Oh man, this can not be good. I walk slowly up to the playroom door hoping that it's not who I think it is. I turn around the corner of the door glancing in...yep it sure as fuck is what I thought. My parents are fucking in my playroom! My dad has my mother strapped to the whipping bench, naked, and he is hitting her with a black leather cat o' nine tails whip, his pants pooling around his ankles.

"What the hell are you two doing in here?" I screech, my voice sounding like I am a teenager hitting puberty.

"Edward, you are going to have to wait until I finish pounding your mother, son. She was a very naughty girl this morning. Ungh...baby...that feels so fucking good in your tight ass."

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU GUYS ARE TWISTED!" I turn to run far away from my playroom but when I turn around, I find Emmett staring at his old room. He is standing in the doorway, dumbfounded. I shove my hands into my pockets and clear my throat.

"Why is the room white, with all new bedding?" His voice is laced with tension.

"Because I don't plan on moving you back in here."

"Oh. I see. What the hell is that giggling sound?" he begins to turn toward the sound. I quickly start pushing him towards the stairs, shaking my head.

"That is my fucked up parents in our space. We need to go back downstairs. Oh you haven't changed yet, grab some clothes and meet me downstairs."

I leave him standing next to my room and head downstairs. I guess I forgot to lock up the playroom dammit. I am getting rid of that whipping bench now, not to mention my fucking favorite whip. That right there is the entire reason I became a Dominant. I needed to control the things around me because of how my parents have always been. They could be in the middle of a damn grocery store and if they feel the need to fuck, then they will go at it right there. I can't even remember how many times they have been arrested for countless things. It was after my last girlfriend, two years ago, that I was led into my now current situation. As I wait for Emmett to come downstairs, I take a look over the backyard to the conversion going on there and get pulled into a flashback.

Flashback

Irina and I have been dating for five years now, I am on my way to the restaurant where I plan to propose to the love of my life.

I am sitting here at the Chophouse, waiting for her to show up, drinking down glass after glass of wine and wondering where the hell she is.

Finally, after two hours go by, I decide to get up and have a drink at the local pub which happens to be right next door.

I walk into the smokey, sweaty smelling bar that is packed with people to find none other than my girlfriend...with her tongue down another man's throat. Well the hell is going on? Maybe she is just really really drunk.

"Irina what are you doing? Who is this man?" I snap at her.

She looks at me and sneers. "Well fuckhole, this is someone who doesn't want to beat me every day and is as carefree as Eddie and Lizzie. I love your parents. Why can't you be like them? Instead, you have all these rules and you are a woman beater. I am done with you."

I watch her walk away and out of my life. She was an uncollared sub who was also my girlfriend. What I don't understand is, how can she feel like I was a woman beater?

My whole world revolved around her. What if I am a woman beater? I am a disgrace of a man.

I walk over to the bar and sit down next to a large man with dark curly hair as I begin questioning everything I am. I have seen him from somewhere before. He looks at me with distraught, mysterious eyes, and a small tight smile on his lips. Oh yes, that's right, his name is Emmett and he is the new agent in our unit.

"Oh, hey Edward. How you been man?" He reaches out to shake my hand. I grasp his hand and a current runs through my veins. How strange?

"Hey man, how are you doing? How are things?" I give my order to the bartender before turning my attention back to him. Some girl next to me is trying to get my attention but I ignore her. All I want to do is listen to him talk, find out why he is so sad. I am not gay but suddenly all I want to do is make him happy, see a smile play on his lips.

"Well, I am here because I was just dumped by my Dom and I am looking to drown myself in beer." He blanches as he realizes he just gave me his big secret. "Holy fuck, I am fucking stupid, I don't know why I told you that. Listen, I know we work together and I have overstepped my boundaries so... I am just gonna go." He starts to leave but I am not ready to have him go yet.

"Funny you should mention the Dom thing, I am on the lookout for a sub right now and I think you might be just what I need. How about you come to my house next weekend to do a test scene? I will bring you home with me after work. How does that sound to you?"

"Sir, I would greatly appreciate the chance to serve you." He lowers his eyes and smiles widely, showing off his dimples. My cock twitches at the sight of his smile. Yeah, I think he is exactly what I need.

"Good. Now let's drink another beer shall we?"

END FLASHBACK

I am pulled out of my flashback, thankful that I have not seen Irina since that night, to the sound of a throat being cleared. I turn to find my mother staring at Emmett who is sitting on a chair off to my right, looking out at the backyard. The person who cleared their throat was my father, who has a stupid grin on his face. My mother's attention suddenly whips to me and my father.

"Son, why on earth do you have a playroom in your house?"

"Oh honey isn't it obvious, he is a Dominant and Emmett is his slave." She points to Emmett as his head whips around to the sound of his name.

"Mother, for what it's worth, Emmett is not my slave. He is my submissive yes, but I do not see how this is any of your concern."

"Edward Junior, do not speak to your mother that way. Where are your manners?"

Emmett jumps to my rescue. "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Masen. I am sorry we are not seeing each other on better terms, especially since it's been awhile since I last saw you." He hugs my mother.

"Emmie baby, it's been six months too long. Please tell me Eddie hasn't kept you locked up in his playroom that whole time." He smiles as he shakes my father's hand.

"No ma'am. I am allowed out to play at least two hours a day." He winks at her as he stands to my left a step behind me, in perfect submissive fashion.

"Enough please. Guests will be arriving soon and I don't need anyone to hear this," I admonish them all.

"I need to go lock my playroom back up and throw up or dive off a cliff; something to get you two fucking out of my damn head." I pivot to my left, standing in front of Emmett. I swiftly place a chaste kiss on his lips and walk away from the craziness that surrounds my life.

The after party is a huge hit. Alice brought in big poster boards filled with pictures of Victoria outlining her life, the catering service is serving a buffet-style meal with lobster, crab legs, Porterhouse steaks and a huge assortment of side dishes. The service even provided an open bar filled with every drink imaginable. I have been the gracious host, chatting away with everyone I come in contact with, except for a few. One of the few that I haven't chatted with is that weird blond chick who makes my stomach turn every time I am within standing distance of her. She gives me the damn willies. My parents are the only other people that I am avoiding any conversation with. They are freaks of nature, flirting with anyone who will listen to them long enough, being overly obnoxious to say the least. But I don't care about any of those people at the moment. The only person I care about right now is Emmett and he is upstairs sleeping.

After the incident with James this afternoon, he became very withdrawn from me, from everyone really. Finally it was Alice who told him to go take a nap for awhile to give himself some time. He asked if I minded him using a bedroom and of course I told him to go use whichever bedroom he would like. About an hour after he went in the house, I had the need to go check on him.

I was expecting Emmett to be asleep in my bedroom, but I find him in his old bedroom instead. He is laying on his stomach, spread out and taking up the entire twin size bed with his feet hanging over the edge, snoring lightly. I wonder why he is in here and not in my room. I close the distance between us in two short strides. Sitting down in the middle of the bed near his hip, I gently rub his back. He is still asleep when he turns his head in my direction. He is mumbling something I can't understand. I am almost afraid to touch him in fear of waking him up but I lean forward and plant a kiss to his forehead. Just as I get up to leave him in peace, I hear him mumble my name, making my heart palpitate at the sound. I just wish I knew what was going to happen.

I head back down to the party and situate myself at the closest table to the door, giving myself an easy escape route. I see my mom heading towards me with a glass of wine in her hand, swaying slightly with each step she takes.

"Hey there pumpkin, where's your man friend Emmie?" she slurs as she slumps into the chair next to me.

"Mother, I need you to be quiet about Emmett and me please. We work together you know, It could make it very uncomfortable for us both if anyone were to find out." To my surprise she laughs haughtily at me.

"Wow son, are really you that blind? When are you going to realize you are in love with that man? Yes, I get who he is to you, but he could be so much more. I know you think your father and I are just simple minded people but I know there is more to you than what you say there is. Whether you want to admit that or not is up to you." She gets up from her seat, leaving quickly without another look in my direction.

Could she be right? Am I in love with Emmett? I certainly don't want to lose him, that's for sure. But who really knows what love is? I thought Irina and I were in love and well, I fell flat on my face with that one. But how can you be in love with someone if you are not gay? I understand the fact that I am sleeping with a man, but does that automatically make me gay? I didn't think so.

"Hey Eddie, how is Em doing?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, Emmett is sleeping still but he seems to be okay." I was pulled out of my thoughts by Alice as she took a seat across from me.

"I sure hope so. Jazz told me what happened with him at the church. I feel so bad that James was there in the first place. He was told to stay away."

"Yeah, who the hell is that James character anyways?" Jasper asks as he sits down next to me, joining in on the conversation.

"That would be Vicky's scum bucket of an ex-boyfriend. They broke up two days before she was murdered."

I look up to find the rest of our friends beginning to take seats around the table. Jasper gets up to move closer to Alice so they can share a seat together.

"Doesn't that seem a bit odd to you?" a new voice says as he joins our group. I look over to the seat that Jasper was just sitting in to find Emmett now in his place. What the fuck? Yeah real subtle Jazz thanks. He must have seen him coming before he reached the table.

"Yeah, I think it's suspicious to say the least. Any clue of why they broke up?" Carlisle chimes in for the first time.

"Well, my mom said that she caught him cheating on her with some blond bimbo."

"I don't think we should be discussing this right now you guys," replies Esme. She is beautiful with her ivory silk skin and her red highlighted hair. Odd thing is, Carlisle looks an awful lot like her, minus the hair. His hair is bleached almost completely blond from the sun. Their personalities, however, are completely different.

"Ah come on, it's not like we are going to solve the case sitting here," Carlisle counters.

"However, it is against protocol to talk about this outside of work and in front of Alice. Geez, did you guys ever wonder how this would make her feel?" Emmett retorts. He is always thinking of someone elses feelings, always trying to save the world one good deed at a time.

"Anyone need a beer? I am going to go get another one," I offer as I get up.

"Actually, I already got one for each of you." I look up to find Jacob standing behind me holding eight beers. He has four in each hand between his fingers. I watch him hand a beer to everyone before he finally hands me one, his arm brushing against my shoulder. He stands behind me, not making a move to get a chair, making me a bit uncomfortable. I drown out the conversation going on around me as I take in Emmett's outfit from the corner of my eye. He looks good in his khaki cargo pants with a light blue t-shirt clinging to his pecs and muscular abs. His shaved head is a bit shiny in the late afternoon sun.

"Um Emmett, why are you wearing the same exact bracelet as Edward?" I turn to see Jacob staring intently at Emmett's hand.

"Jake, are you blind? Those are two completely different bracelets that just happen to be black," quips Jasper. I am starting to feel grateful that Jasper knows about me and Emmett. He seems to be there every time I need him.

"No, I am telling you these two are faggots together. Look at how they are always together, sitting next to each other. You guys are in on it aren't you? Always sticking up for them. You guys are sick as fuck. I'm out of here." Jacob storms off, leaving a wake of silence. The sound of the chair scrapping on the concrete pad is loud as Emmett stomps his way into the house.

"Aww the poor guy, why can't they leave him alone for being gay? He's not hurting anybody," Alice whimpers.

"I really hate narrow minded people. I agree Ali, he isn't hurting anyone," mutters Rosalie.

"He's my best friend." It's the only thing I can think to say while my mind is once again on Emmett's hurt feelings. I wish there was a way to make him feel better about who he is, I just don't know how yet.

I look at the faces of my coworkers, my friends thinking that is the closest I have come to admitting that Emmett is more than just my friend.

"Edward, you don't have to explain anything to us. It's not our place to judge. If you two were together we would have your backs no matter what. You can't let people like Jacob get in the way of what you want. I mean, that's if you are gay too, of course," Carlisle is forlorn as he addresses the issue.

I can't take it anymore. Emmett has had enough bad shit happen to him today, he doesn't need to question himself once again.

"Thanks guys, but I can't do this right now. I need to make sure he is okay," I say half heartedly as I push my chair back and go to check on my bear.

A/N:Chapter 3 ended up having to be split in two because it was so long! I apologize for having to take out the best part but you will thank me next chapter!

So anyone else want to smack Edward upside the head? Any predictions of what Jacob is going to do about Eddie and Em? I would love your opinions about this chapter and the many things that went on. Well, I know my heart is breaking for Emmett that's for sure. Anyway, leave a review and I will give you a sneak peak to Chapter 4! :)


	4. Chapter Four: Discoveries

A/N: Well hello again! Thank you all for the wonderful reviews and the story alerts! I am so shocked on how well this story is doing! And the ladies that I have to thank for that are my pre-readers/beta's, Texasbella, Nocturnal Emissions, and look who has returned this chapter, nickeyd26! Without you ladies I would be stuck on how to progress to this point. I hope that you all like how this chapter came about. This is a bit shorter than the others but I think you will be surprised and happy...I hope! Anyways I'll let you read it now :)

*Disclaimer* Stephenie Meyer owns the world of Twilight. I have mixed up the character pairings and allowed them out of the closet. If you are not 18+ take a hike. This story is not meant for young eyes.

Chapter 4

Discoveries

Leaving the backyard behind, my steps pick up speed until I'm running full out towards my playroom. It's the only place where he would be. Where he would feel comfortable in his own skin. I reach the playroom door, confirming my suspicions when I see the playroom door is ajar.

I approach the room slowly, not quite sure of what I will find once I get inside. I take a few steps into the room and look around for him. At first I don't see him but I can hear his quiet sobs. Taking a few more steps into the room, I can finally see him sitting in the deepest corner of the room where he is encased in the shadows, almost invisible. He has his arms wrapped around his bent legs as he openly sobs. I don't want him to shy away from my touch so I approach him cautiously.

"Oh bear, I am so sorry that you have to keep going through this. Please tell me what you need. Let me take the pain away, please," I beg him as I kneel at his feet. To see your submissive this torn apart makes a Dom want to do whatever it will take to make sure their partners are safe, happy and complete. I feel like a failure seeing my bear like this.

"What's the point, Edward? This is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. People will always have something to say about my sexuality. I can't help who I am, but you don't have to stand by me and deal with it too."

It felt like he slapped me in the fucking face.

"Emmett, are you breaking our contract? Are you calling red?"

A tear is now sliding down my cheek. It is the only outward sign of my pain, but on the inside, my chest feels like it is cracking in half.

His eyes shoot up to mine. His emotions are a twisted mess on his face. I can't identify one before another takes its place.

"No Master. I don't want to break up...well, I mean, break our contract. But I can't keep hiding this. I don't want to be a dirty little secret anymore."

"Baby, you are not my dirty little secret. I am trying to protect our jobs," I plead with conviction.

"Fuck my job! Dammit, I don't care anymore, Edward. This is fucking bullshit."

"You will do best to remember you are in my playroom, Emmett, and I will not have that fucking attitude in my place of solitude."

I stand up so I am towering over him. I understand he is upset but he needs to remember his place between us. He stands up, stepping right in front of my face.

"Then fucking throw me out Edward. Throw me the fuck out of your life and drop me like everyone else has," he shouts, his fists clenching shut.

It clicks suddenly. He is looking to be punished, whether it is intentional or not, it's definitely what he needs. I take an inch of a step closer to him so that our noses are almost touching. I can feel his beginning resolve to step down from me, but he holds his place. My anger spikes.

"Alright, sub, you want to act out in here? Then so be it. Strip naked and I want you kneeling by the whipping bench in exactly sixty seconds," I sneer at him. He scrambles to do my bidding. I really don't want to use the bench seeing as how my parents were fucking on it hours earlier, however, right now I just don't give a flying fuck. After shutting and locking the door, I walk over to him, stripping my clothes as I go, I am completely naked by the time I reach the whipping bench.

"Seeing as how you want to disrespect me and my space, one of my toys will be disrespecting you in a moment. Climb up on the whipping bench, base of your cock goes all the way to the end, dick hanging off." I watch him position himself against the whipping bench, his knees are bent around the sides, his entire package is against the side closest to me.

My dick hardens at the thought of how this would be an awesome angle to take him in the ass. I walk over to the chest that holds all of my instruments and pull open the drawer with cuffs. I grab out a set of both ankle and wrist cuffs. Swiftly walking back to Emmett, who is finally quiet from his earlier sobbing, I attach the cuffs to his limbs and move my way around the bench to secure each one.

With the position that he is in, I know that every time I whip him the impact of the blow is going to force his cock to hit the side of the bench, causing pain. I am not a sadist so I don't plan on using anything more than a flogger. I drag my fingers over his lower back and down to his ass, giving him a quick slap to his cheek. He startles at the sudden contact. Without ever saying a single word to him, I move back to the wall of impact toys and reach for a black leather flogger. This will give him pain but not so severe that he won't be able to sit down later tonight. Taking the toy with me, I stride back to Emmett.

"You, sub, are going to count and then thank me for everything I give you. Other than your counting you need to keep that mouth shut. Do you understand, nod if you do." He nods in understanding. "What is your punishment for your rude behavior, sub? Answer me."

"Master will give his submissive ten warm-ups with his hand followed by ten implemented."

"Good. Glad you seem to have found your place in here, sub." I sneer.

I begin kneading his ass, preparing it; making sure I won't break skin or bruise it with the contact.

Control. This is something I need to make sure I have. Complete control. I can't let my emotions get a hold on me. Control, to make sure this goes exactly as planned.

I take a step back from him and begin my warm-up smacks. My first slap to his ass lands on his left ass cheek giving off a loud echo.

"One. Thank you, Master."

The next one lands on his right cheek.

"Two. Thank you, Master."

The third lands on the top of his ass.

"Three. Thank you, Master."

Fourth one is straight across both cheeks.

"Four. Thank you, Master."

I follow in the same pattern, never hitting the same spot more than once. After every hit he counts it out and then thanks me. I can see his body starting to relax the more slaps he receives. As I get to ten I am ready for the punishment to be over. I don't like having to punish him, it hurts me emotionally to have to do it. Although I take no joy in the process of punishing him, I know this is what he needs.

SLAP.

"Ten. Thank you, Master." I gently glide my hands over his backside, feeling the warmth of his skin heated from the pain. The blood rushing to the surface causes pink to stain him.

"What color are you? Answer me."

"Green, Master," he murmurs. I can see his cheeks are wet from his tears of shame.

"I need to go grab your cream for afterwards, sub. I will be right back."

I balance the flogger on the leg of the bench, making sure he can't see what I am going to be finishing his punishment with. One reason I am walking away right now is to make sure that I maintain control, the other reason is to build anticipation for him. Mostly its to make sure I have the cream ready to spread on immediately after. I enter the bathroom that is attached to the playroom and retrieve the arnica cream, then head back out to Emmett.

"Alright sub, let's finish this."

I set the cream down next to him and pick the flogger back up, twirling the end in my hand a few times, feeling the crisscross pattern in my hand. Taking a step back and to the left, I align myself to him to make the perfect strike. I start off soft in the first strike. As the fronds lick his skin it makes a resounding THWACK against him, the tendrils curling around his upper thigh.

"Eleven. Thank you, Master."

I strike again and this time I watch the strands of leather wrap around his waist like a warm embrace. The flogger snakes across his skin, leaving a trail of pink in it's wake. The color is delicious against his skin. I can feel my cock beginning to stir at seeing his flesh color under my precise strokes.

"Twelve. Thank you, Master."

The punishment continues, making my cock grow harder and harder. By the time I get to the last couple of swats, Emmett is no longer able to hold off his moans of pleasure, his tears long since forgotten.

"Eighteen...uuuggghh...thank you, Master," he moans loudly.

"What's wrong, baby? Is my flogger turning you on, bear?"

Thwack.

"Oohh...nineteen...ungh. Thank you, Master."

Thwack.

"Aahh Master, thank you." I chuckle at his missed number.

"Did you forget something, bear?"

"Oh shit, your submissive apologizes Master. He meant to say twenty, thank you, Master."

"That's my good boy. You have taken your punishment nicely. We can now go back to being just Edward and Emmett. You better make sure you stay respectful in here, however.

I am going to unstrap you and I want you to walk over to the bed. Stretch out on your stomach."

I move quickly to unbuckle all of his restraints. My hardened length occasionally makes contact with the flesh of his legs. Oh fuck me. I place the flogger on the whipping bench and grab the cream.

I quickly tread over to the bed with Emmett laying on his stomach, his ass slightly sticking up in the air, his hands tucked up into his groin area. I am willing to bet he is so hard it's painful to lay on it. I climb onto the bed, straddling his lower legs.

"I think my bear has a bit of a problem going on, don't you baby?"

I squirt a generous amount of the cream into my hand, rubbing my hands together before spreading it onto his flaming hot ass. Every couple of strokes he bucks his hips into my hands, causing my erection to hit right between his thighs. I lift my hands from his body only to pour more cream into them before reaching down to run my fingers along his hips and thighs. I work my way up his body over his ass again, up his back, and finally to his shoulders. I retreat off of his legs so I can get him to turn around.

"Flip over, baby," my voice is husky with need.

Emmett turns onto his back. His steel hard cock is prominently on display for me to enjoy. I straddle his legs again, this time on his thighs, and am rewarded with a low moan that slips from his mouth. Again I pour more cream into my hands and begin rubbing down the front of his shoulders, moving to his muscular chest where I make sure to run my fingertips over his pebbled nipples before raking my fingers down his stomach. I adjust my hands to start the rotation all over again. Finally, on my second rotation, I let my hands slide lower than his stomach muscles straight to the base of his enormous length. My shaft comes in contact with his as I lean down to bite his pierced nipple. Emmett bucks his hips into me, his dick sliding up along me, causing me to groan loudly.

"Oh fuck baby, you are so hard."

I lean forward and capture his mouth with my own, trailing my tongue along his lower lip, pulling it into my mouth to suck on it. Damn, he tastes so good. I let go of his lip only to imprison his mouth in a sultry open mouthed kiss; long, hard and very passionate. He darts his tongue into my mouth, running it along every surface he can reach while his hands are running over my chest and arms.

My groans are captured by his mouth. Our tongues are swirling around each other, sliding up and down in sync together. I pull his hands into my own, pulling them above his head as I lace our fingers together.

"Edward, please," he begs.

"Patience baby."

I am to the point now that my dick is so hard it's swollen, purple, and in some real pain. I let go of his hands to move down his body, scattering kisses along his sweaty flesh. Taking his nipple into my mouth, I gently bite him, swirling my tongue. I pull my mouth off to blow air on his nipple causing it to harden. I grab his other nipple and pull gently, rolling the bud in between my fingertips.

"Ungh...Eddie, that feels so good," he moans, tilting his back in pleasure.

His hips are bucking involuntarily against me. Needing more friction against his hardened erection, he juts his dick against mine repeatedly, leaving wet spots on my skin from his precum. I shift myself downwards, heading straight to the goal, a large flesh-colored monster that is mine for the taking. With my hands splayed across his stomach, I take his swollen tip in my mouth and begin sucking gently. Licking the beads of precum that leak out, I wrap my hand around his large base giving myself some leverage to deep throat him.

After a tiny nip to the skin on the underside of the leaking tip, I drop my mouth over his length until he hits the back of my throat. I pull my hungry mouth up his length, flattening my tongue along his thick vein. I feel Emmett's hands work their way into my hair, giving gentle tugs. I run my hand along his hip, running my thumb across my favorite bear paw tattoo as I descend down his engorged shaft. I hollow out my cheeks, picking up my speed in my ministrations to his throbbing member.

"Holy hell baby, please, harder. I need more," he pulls my hair harshly.

Granting him his wish, I stick my middle finger in my mouth, soaking it with my saliva before reaching down to his tight hole and sliding my finger in. His ass is tight, clenching around my finger, trying to get rid of the intrusion. Slowly, I glide my finger in and out, being gentle. Right now all I want to do is make love to my bear. I continue my assault on his backside, getting him ready for my steely cock.

The grunts coming out of his mouth are deliciously erotic, making my body ooze in anticipation. Not wanting to wait much longer, I add a second finger into his tight rosebud, making scissor-like actions, widening him up to fit me inside. I drag my unoccupied hand lightly over his thighs and hips, eliciting moans from Emmett. I can't take this pleasurable torture much longer. I need to be inside his tight ass, feeling the muscles clench around me, milking me, giving into every dark fantasy my dirty mind can muster up.

I reach over to the bedside table that houses extra lube and condoms. I roll one down to the hilt, pulling the tip up ever so gently. After the condom is snug in place I squirt a generous amount of lube on to his tight asshole and all over the tip, before I reach down to my cock and begin stroking myself rapidly as I pull my fingers out of him. I look up into Emmett's eyes as I line myself up getting ready to enter him, they are shining with desire, bright green in anticipation, and he is beautiful. I quickly bend down to give him a kiss, lingering there for a minute or so as I slowly enter him. My tip is engulfed in the coalescent confines of his body. I push in a little more, feeling the bars of my piercing sinking in, rubbing them against my shaft, stroking the under skin of my manhood. Damn... that feels amazing. I wait for his body to acclimate to my girth by pumping my tip slowly in and out of his constricted hole.

"Please...more...please...I...need...you...please," he pants.

I pull his left leg up so his calf is sitting on my shoulder and his buttocks is flush with my hip. With controlled ease, I slide my rock hard shaft in all the way down to my hilt. I still for a moment, basking in the feeling of being intimate with him.

I wrap my arm around his thigh that is laying on my body giving myself something to hold onto as I begin a slow, torturous game of sensual thrusting. Slow, steady, loving thrusts, one after another. The barbells of my piercing tug each time I move past his fleshy barrier, swirling, taunting my flesh. This feels fucking incredible. I turn my head to his leg that is on my shoulder, giving kisses to the back of his knee. My tongue snakes out to ever so gently leave a wet trail on this spot, then his thigh, leaving behind a trail of his goosebumps.

"Mmm, that feels so good." Emmett's hands are grabbing for the pillow above his head, fisting and unfisting, keeping in time with my penetrations.

"Em, baby, grab that glorious cock of yours and match my moves thrust for thrust, love."

He pulls his hand down from the pillow, grasping his dick tightly as he strokes himself, matching my movements as instructed. Slow, sensual thrusts, over and over again. My hand on his thigh is kneading the soft, sinewy meat, grazing my fingers in a tantalizing tease. I begin to feel the tightening in my groin as I pick up the pace of my ministrations.

"Damn bear, you feel so good, can you cum with me baby? I'm so close," I grunt, now slamming my cock into his tight ass.

"Yes baby, I need to cum please," he gasps.

I relentlessly pound myself into him at a feverish pace. I drop his leg down from my shoulder to bend over him, grabbing his mouth into a smoldering hot and passionate kiss. Just as I am about to cum, I slip Emmett's lower lip into my mouth and pull, groaning into his mouth as I spew my spunk into his ass. I feel him ramming his hand up and down his cock and he cums all over his chest and mine.

"Holy fuck...Edward!" he screams.

I lay on him as we are are coming back down from our climatic high, kissing his neck and jaw, as he runs his hands along the contours of my back. We lay here for a few minutes catching our breaths when I suddenly remember that my backyard is filled with guests and friends.

"I need to go back down to the party, bear. I want you to go take a shower and then change the sheets so we can sleep here tonight. I also want you to write in your journal tonight about the things that have been going on lately. I want to know how you are feeling."

"Yes, Sir."

I nod my head at him and go into the bathroom where I quickly clean up. With one last longing glance at Emmett on the bed, I slip my clothes back on and head back downstairs to the party.

As I return to the table that my friends are still sitting at, the conversation dies out immediately. Wow, that's embarrassing.

"Wow. Don't stop on my account," I sneer at them.

"We are sorry, Edward. Actually we were talking about Emmett and possibly moving him out of the unit away from Jacob." Jasper is now sitting in his own chair, however, he is holding Alice's hand, as she is sleeping on his upper arm.

"We all think the issue with Jacob is only going to get worse. I don't understand how you can act like that with your own partner. Especially if that man could save your life at any moment," Rosalie says, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

"I agree with all of you, I don't want him working with Jacob anymore. We just need Bella to approve. Now, can I ask you all what you think is going on between Emmett and me? Honesty please."

"Eddie, it's none of our business what is going on. The only thing we know is that you guys are more than just partners. Whatever label you guys put to it is up to you, not us," says Esme, as she reaches to pat my hand. The others are all nodding their heads at me. I don't even know what to tell them.

"He is my best friend. I don't know what it is with him, but when he is around I feel complete. I need him around me to feel like myself and not like a stranger in my own body."

I sit here thinking about how it would be if he left me. If he didn't want to do our arrangement anymore, if he calls red on me. I know I would be heartbroken, that's for sure. Yes, I could get another submissive quite easily, but that's just it. I don't want another submissive, I want Emmett. My life is complete with him in it. Holy fuck. I have been so blind. I have real feelings for him. I have been in denial for a long time. How did I not know what this was? I don't think I am in love with him yet, but I am not far off from being head over heels in love with him. Damn, it's too bad he didn't feel the same way about me.

"OH FUCK! You guys, I have actual feelings for him! Oh man, this is horrible!"

Each and everyone of them assholes are now laughing at me. Oh God, I'm a freak. Wait, my thinking like that is so wrong. I am no better than James or Jacob.

"We were wondering when you two would figure it out. Before you can even ask, we are not freaked out by you guys being gay or anything like that so don't even ask," Jasper laughs.

"Wait. Why is that horrible?" Esme asks, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"Oh...holy shit...I'm gay," I whisper, letting the words flow out, testing the sound of them. Yep that sums it up pretty quickly. No wonder my past relationships never worked out. I am gay. I feel as though the battleship that has been sitting on my chest is now gone, has sailed away to some other unlucky person feeling the same way.

"Well, if you all are as cool with it as you seem to be, I might as well just jump in the deep end and spill out my guts to you here. Let's see how long you guys stay my friends."

The laughter and joking has stopped as their eyes are all trained on me. I run my fingers roughly through my hair as I take a deep breath.

"I am a Dominant, and not only that, but Emmett is my submissive. We have a weekend arrangement. There is nothing else going on with us at this moment. He doesn't have feelings for me. I do, however, see now that I have had feelings for him for awhile. It is what it is."

They are all looking at me like I cut my head off and served it to them on a porcelain platter. Yep, see, now my friends will leave me, I am a freak. No one wants to be friends with a woman beater. Or, well, in my case, a man beater.

"Why would we leave because of that?" asks Carlisle.

"I am a freak of nature," I whisper with shame.

"No you are not. You just have different needs than we do sweetie. There is nothing wrong or fucked up about you. We are not leaving you," says Rosalie.

I can see pure honesty in her expression.

"Have you guys been dating at all?" asks Esme as she takes another sip of her beer.

"No. I doubt he wants the same things I do." I am quite positive he doesn't want more.

"Oh Edward, you are so blind. Listen, we need to go, it's getting late," Carlisle exclaims as he helps Esme up from her chair. "You all have a good night. See you tomorrow."

Blind? What did he mean by that? But before I can voice my inquiry, there are echos of good nights everywhere.

I feel exasperated. I think I should of kept my mouth shut. I don't need problems at work. I am ready to go curl up next to Emmett so I stand up, getting ready to go to bed. I need to find my parents to let them know where they are sleeping and set a few house rules.

I nod my goodbyes to the Brandon's and a few other guests I know. I do not see my parents anywhere. Hmm, maybe they already went to bed, but I highly doubt it. I decide to go look inside. I am walking through the kitchen when a folded piece of paper on my fridge catches my attention. Well, at least my mother was nice enough to leave me a note. I walk over to open the letter and realize I don't recognize the handwriting on the front that is labeled to 'Sweet Thang'. That damn blond bimbo must have left this. I am almost afraid to open it but I do anyways.

You should be calling my name when you cum and not that steroid loving freak's. I can do things for you that no one else can. One day soon we will be together. I have been watching you.

Wow. This chick is out of her freaking mind. Why in the world would she think she can give me something more than what Emmett already gives me. I look at the note again and realize she has really bad handwriting. I just don't get women. I guess it's a good thing I am gay. Holy shit. I really am gay.

I crumble the paper up and stick it in my pocket and head for the stairs. I hear a lot of yelling as I reach the bottom step. It sounds like it is coming from my driveway, I go and investigate, opening the front door. There is Jasper, holding Alice in his arms, standing next to my Aston Martin while watching two people on the front of my car. What is going on? I creep closer to the spectacle that is in front of me. I see two people fucking on the hood.

Are you freaking kidding me?

I am close enough now to see every nasty angle of none other than my parents, going at it, in the middle of my driveway. Thank God it's dark out. My mother has my father bent over the hood while she is fucking his ass with a hot pink dildo, both of them naked from the waist down. I look over at Jasper, wondering why he has stopped yelling. He is looking at them with the most ridiculous look on his face. It's a cross between confusion and desire.

Is he getting turned on?

"Mom! Dad! Really? Why can't you keep it in your pants for one day! That's all I needed, just one day! This is a 170,000 dollar car dammit!"

My dad is rubbing his hands all over the paint job like it is turning him on even more. What the hell is wrong with these two? Why are they still fucking? Okay, we need to do something about the hornballs.

"Can you remove yourselves off my damn car, and go somewhere private please?"

"Eddie, baby, is that room open still?" my mother grunts.

"No mother. Emmett is sleeping in there. I am going to bed. You guys are sleeping in my room. DO NOT FUCK ON MY BED. And I want you guys gone tomorrow morning, please."

I turn to Jasper who is still staring at my parents. "I will see you tomorrow. Please make sure they leave soon." He nods his head without ever even looking in my direction.

And I thought I was weird.

I return to the house, going back to my bedroom to get clothes for work in the morning. I am so sick of the crazies that are known as my parents. Irina thought that they were tame compared to me but I would never have sex on my damn car. Hmm...maybe if it were Emmett bent over my hood it wouldn't be so bad then. Yeah, him bent over in the middle of a large parking lot filled with curious on-lookers. Damn, now I am horny again.

I open the door to my bedroom, flicking on the light as I see a very naked body laying in my bed. My stomach takes a dive south as my mind registers who it is. Tanya is laying in my bed, spread eagle and fingering herself, propped up on my pillows. Yep, definitely gay, this woman does nothing for me.

"What are you doing in my bed?" my voice lowers in disgust.

"There you are baby. I have been waiting for you. Why don't you come lay down next to me, baby?" she purrs at me.

Well there goes my erection. That is so disgusting to hear the huskiness in her throat. I never felt this way with Irina, what is it about her? Why does she have such a nasty effect on me? Maybe it has something to do with her personally.

"Yeah, not going to happen. You can leave my room now. The room you are to stay in is on the first floor, next to the dining room. Don't bother coming to rape me in my sleep because my parents will be staying in here. You and your note can leave now." I dig in my pocket grabbing the crumpled note and throw it at her. She looks at it with curiosity.

"Edward, I didn't write this. I would have been a bit more classy than this," she replies as she throws the note back to me. I watch it flutter to the end of my bed in disdain. Yeah, you didn't write it and I am in love with a female.

"Yeah whatever. Just get out of here."

I grab my work clothes for the morning and head back out of the room. As I walk towards the room that holds everything I am, I realize it's the only place I want to be. I need to be in the arms of my bear, as I wonder what tomorrow will hold.

A/N: Well how about that huh? What do you all think of the punishment and of course the yummy lemon? Please review and let me know how you feel! Anything you would like to see happen or perhaps change? Oh and Master Edward has allowed bear to give you hugs if you review :)


	5. Chapter Five:Changing Directions

Changing Directions

A/N: **WARNING** there is an extreme BDSM scene written in this chapter. If you do not wish to read it then please skip over it. It ends with the word RED written three times. However in order to know what is going on the scene is necessary to read. I need to thank my beta's and pre-readers for this chapter, Nocturnal Emissions, TexasBella and Nickeyd26. Thank you all for your hard work. The chapter begins with the last journal entry from Chapter Two. If you are not 18 or older then you need to go find something else to read. I am not trying to corrupt the world's youth.

**Disclaimer:Stephanie Meyer owns all I just play with the characters giving them some fun!**

* * *

><p><strong>~Your next assignment is to tell me what you think about moving in with me~<strong>

_Master,_

_Your submissive would love to move in with you, however, he is afraid of what people will think about the living situation. He personally does not mind what people think but he is thinking of you when he says this. Your submissive's home does not feel like a home, it feels empty and lonely. You have asked your bear why he wants to spend more time with you and he can only tell you that you are his best friend. He enjoys his time with you and hopes that you can give him more._

_Wow. Today has been a long day, Master. Your submissive apologizes that his actions today have have caused you to fight with James and then that you had to listen to Jacob. He really wants to beat Jacob's ass, but will not due to his respect for you. Your submissive felt very happy when you stepped in to fight for him today. Your bear is also sorry for the lack of self esteem he has had lately and will try to better himself for you. He can only hope that the wreckage that is bound to happen only happens to bear and not you, Master. That would break his heart._

_With Love,_

_bear_

As I sit here rereading Emmett's journal entry from last night I begin to ponder what he is thinking. I wish I was a mind reader. That might help me out with how I am going to proceed with our relationship. This morning has been hell on me. His scent assaulting my nostrils with his Old Spice body wash, his dimpled face etched in worry lines, he is curled against my back, never far from my reach. Needless to say, last night I had barely slept. My mind kept drifting back to his journal entry and the epiphany I had yesterday.

I can feel my mind wandering again, rolling out thought after thought. _What will today bring? Is that skank still in my house? Can Emmett, one day, love me? Do I love him? Shit, I forgot to do that paperwork! How the hell does Bella know I am a Dom? Has she seen me at play parties? What do I want for breakfast? Am I cooking for all my guests? How can I shut my damn mind off?_

My mind is still wandering along without my permission when I feel Emmett start shifting, and waking up. For some reason I do not want him to know I am awake so I close my eyes and even out my breaths.

Emmett moves closer to me and plants a kiss on my temple as he whispers to me, "I am sorry ahead of time for the things I know will come today."

He gets up out of bed and goes to use the bathroom in the playroom._ What the fuck does that mean_? Why is he sorry for today's events. Oh yes, how can I forget? Jacob is his damn partner. I frown as my realization slaps me in the face. I can't continue to do this to myself, I will be gray-haired before breakfast time. I quietly get up, get dressed and leave the room to go take a shower.

_My house is awfully quiet_, I think when I step out of the shower. I feel as though it is another boring morning alone. I am hoping to meet Emmett in the workout room this morning. I want to spend as much time as I can with him before work.

_Oh, maybe he can cook me something good to eat_, again my mind is rambling as I am putting the finishing touches on my work attire. Damn ties. I hate wearing ties. Done. Now let's go find my man. I make my way down to the kitchen to find my center island has become a donut shop. There are at least ten different kinds of donuts, not to mention muffins, croissants and danishes. A french roast coffee is brewing in the pot, with another on the counter waiting to be poured.

A man's voice catches my attention in the backyard. I look up to find my guests, whose names I cannot remember, all sitting around the tables eating breakfast and chatting. The only guests that are not down here are my parents, and Tanya. Even Emmett is nowhere to be seen. I grab a croissant before making my way down to my basement where my workout equipment is housed.

Before I even enter the room, my stomach rolls with nausea and my head pounds furiously. Dammit, the blond bimbo must be down here. I open the door to find Emmett lifting free weights with Tanya sitting on the floor off to the side of him, watching him, trying futilely to get his attention. I smile as I see Emmett every minute or so take a step farther away from her. It's only then that I hear that damn smoker's voice vibrate through the room.

"Wow, your muscles are huge, you remind me of a huge bear." She smiles at him as he seethes at her for using his pet name.

"Do not call me that. There is only one person on this planet that calls me that." He puts the weights down, grabs his water, and starts walking towards me. He is a few feet from me still when his stride to the door falters, a ghost of a smile on his lips. He must sense my presence. I move in front of him, standing in his way as he approaches me.

"Good morning," he smiles.

"Good morning. I hope that woman hasn't been bothering you."

"Actually, that woman gives me the creeps," he shutters; looking disgusted.

I lean towards him and lower my voice,"I know how you feel. My stomach drops to my knees whenever she is near me."

He chuckles as we head back out to the kitchen area. He grabs a plate full of fruit and sits down on a stool near the kitchen island. I could get used to him being here with me every morning.

"Em, I was thinking we could take two separate vehicles today. Today is your waxing appointment is it not?"

"Yes it is. I have to leave work after lunch to be there by two."

I nod my head as I pour myself a black coffee. I lean against the counter, watching him eat, thinking about will happen today at work. I am secretly hoping that Jacob will not be at work today, out sick with some plague.

We finish our breakfast and gather the last of our things. It is when we are headed out to the driveway to go to work that we see the disaster that was once Emmett's truck. Every tire is slashed, the Jeep is doused in some kind of blood, and the word "whore" is written on his windshield in the same blood that is covering his paint job. I walk up to the atrocity, swiping my finger across the "blood" substance, coming to the realization that it is not blood at all, only corn syrup dyed red. Who the hell would do such a thing? I look over at Emmett who is staring flabbergasted at his baby.

"Why? Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this?" he mumbles, his hands rubbing his bald head.

My first instinct is to blame Tanya, but I am slowly thinking it's not her. After his venomous display yesterday, I am actually leaning towards Jacob, though it is hard to believe Jacob could be so cruel as this. To be capable of doing hate crimes in the middle of the suburbs, especially against the man who has been his partner for years. Why can't they leave my bear alone? I pull out my phone and press the number four, awaiting a response.

"Agent Swan speaking," the voice answers.

"Agent Swan, it's Masen. Listen, Emmett's Jeep was destroyed last night here at my house, I need for you to send out a clean up crew and I need to set up an appointment with you when we arrive at work."

"Yes, yes the agency will pay for the truck and someone will be out there within the hour for clean-up. Um, Edward, I think that would be a great idea but you need to ask Emmett if he wants to come in today, Jacob is on a rampage right now," she sighs.

"What the hell are you talking about, Swan?"

"Explain to Emmett that this is only going to get worse today. Jacob is outing you both at work as being together and he can't work with a...well, you know the word I am sure."

"Fine. He and I will be in shortly. Just send me that damn clean up crew please," I growl and hang up on her.

"Edward, what's going on?" I look over at Emmett who is in return, staring at me.

"It looks as if Jacob's display here last night was not enough for him. He is causing a scene right now in the office. Let's go and find out what's going on together, if you would like or you can stay here instead."

"I will go with you. I want to find out what is going to happen," he replies while opening the passenger side door. We drive off to work, the car filled with palpable tension.

* * *

><p>I am suddenly feeling very anxious to go into work. What if they want to fire us because we are gay? No, they can't do that. That is discrimination. I am willing to bet they could make work a living hell if they wanted to because of it though.<p>

We are just getting out of the elevators when we hear the screaming and yelling coming from within the office, one male and one female. Emmett opens the door ajar and peeks in before opening the door wide, allowing us both entry. Bella and Jacob are face to face, screaming obscenities at each other.

"Fuck you, Bella! I will not work with some damn homo as a partner!"

"You watch what you say in my office Jacob Black! I _will_ have you arrested for harassment!"

"What the hell is going on in here?" I shout over them. They both turn to look at me. Bella's face immediately turns to one of concern where as Jacob's is one of malice and hatred.

"I am trying to figure out what is going on here. That's what. Why Jacob is telling the whole department that you guys are gay and that you both should be fired." I can feel Emmett tensing up as she explains the situation. I jump in head first before he can do anything stupid.

"Well not that it is any ones business but mine and Emmett's, but yes, we are both gay. The issue here is whether or not the department is going to hold our sexuality against us."

"Edward, you know better than to say the Bureau is discriminate against anyone." I shrug at her.

"Then I want him gone. I do not want him working with Emmett."

"Fuck you, asshole! Who are _you_ to decide?" Jacob screams at me.

"Done," exclaims Bella, a wide smile prominent on her lips.

"Actually, we need him in another department," a tall man says; he is standing in the doorway with his hands in his pocket. This man is lanky with golden brown hair and piercing, ice blue eyes. I am not sure who he is.

"Agents Masen and McCarty, this is Director Fred Nahuel," explains Bella. Damn, this is the guy who runs everything. The Top Dog. I wonder how he knew about what was going on?

"Agent Black, you were found on camera this morning using derogatory language against another agent, your partner in fact. Agent Swan is correct. There will be no toleration for discrimination against anyone that works in my building. Because of your actions, you will be shipped out of town to a neighboring state Bureau at the end of the week. In the meantime, you are to pack up your office and leave. If I find you are harassing either of these agents you will be put in jail. Have a good day everyone."

Well that explains how he knew. I watch the man walk back out of the office in a confident stride, while Jacob and Emmett are both staring at him incredulously. Well that was easy.

"Edward and Emmett in my office now."

"Getting in on the festivities Ma'am?" Jacob sneers at the three of us as we pass him.

"First of all, Jacob, you have by the time I come back out of my office to be gone, and second I am not a Ma'am. Do not ever call me that name again? Understood?" If looks could kill, Bella would have chopped his head off with that look.

"Whatever," he grumbles;sulking off to his desk.

As the three of us sit down at her desk, Bella on one side, us on the other,there is an intense silence between us.

"I apologize to you both. I have been trying to get him out of my office since six a.m. I don't know what he was doing here that early besides causing a scene for us all."

"I'm fine, Agent Swan. Don't worry about me," Em mutters with his eyes looking down at his shoes.

"Emmett, we can't help you unless you tell us what is bothering you," she coaxes him.

He looks between the two of us a few times before he drops his stare back down to the floor.

"I don't want to cause problems here at work for anyone. Why did you have to say something, Edward? I could have said something, you didn't have to go and lie like that." His voice is barely above a whisper, almost inaudible.

"Isabella, you need to give us a minute or two please." I nod my head to her pointing to the door with my chin. She gets up quietly, without saying a word, leaving quickly. As soon as I hear the door click shut I turn my full attention back to him.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What was I lying about?" I ask in a surly voice.

"Sir, please don't be mad at me. I thought you were just sticking up for me. Honestly, I didn't mean to make you upset with me."

How can he think that way? How could I not be upset by his words? I out myself to him, letting him know that I am just like him and he puts me down, saying I was only sticking up for him. I feel like a tractor trailer has hit me in the chest. I knew it. He doesn't have feelings for me besides what he feels for me as his Master.

"Emmett, I thought you knew me better than that. I do not say anything just because I can. I do not lie and I am always honest no matter the consequences."

"I'm sorry, Sir. Again, I didn't mean to make you upset with me. I apologize," he sighs.

"Yes, well, I am gay. I have feelings for you, and I wanted to do more than just the D/s thing but whatever, right now I don't care anymore," I say in clipped tones as I throw my keys to him.

"Here are my keys, go to your appointment. I will get a ride home from Jasper, your Jeep will be ready by the time you get done. Just stay away from me today please." I feel him grab for my forearm as I turn to leave the room.

"Sir, please talk to me," he begs, eyes wide with fear.

"Get off of me and leave me alone for today. I need to think things through." I snatch my arm out of his grasp and quickly leave the room. As I reach my desk, my mind floods with those irritating thoughts. I fucking pour my heart out to him and he doesn't acknowledge what it means for me to admit that I am gay. I guess that confirms it for me that he doesn't want to be with me like that. Why can't I ever win? Why can't someone I love, just love me back? I grab my hair in an attempt to pull my darkening thoughts out. My ring tone for text messages brings me back to reality. I open my phone to find Emmett's cryptic message.

_Sir,_

_Is tusa mo shaol. That is how I feel about you._

_bear_

What the hell? What is he trying to write? As I sound out the words I realize this is not the first time he has said this phrase to me. What is he trying to tell me? I shake my head at his text and decide now is not the time for me to delve into this crap. I have all that paperwork I still need to get done.

* * *

><p>The rest of the work week has been nice. Long gone is the feeling that I have to hide who I am. No one has mentioned anything to me, or Emmett, about our sexuality and I am glad for that. Emmett, on the other hand, has slowly been distancing himself from me.<p>

I have been going crazy trying to figure out what his text message means. I have yet to ask him straight out what it is. He is obviously wanting me to figure this out on my own, I just can't seem to figure it out. Endless hours on the Internet has me going around in circles; Quileute, Dutch, German, hell, I don't even know what his nationality is so that's no help.

At work he barely glances at me anymore, only when I directly talk to him will he attempt to look in my direction. He still remains in perfect submissive mode when he is around me, however. Eyes cast down, two feet behind me, slightly to the left, soft spoken.

There is something in his eyes that he has been hiding from me. I have a gut-wrenching feeling that he is not going to show up this weekend. In fact, he should be here in the next twenty minutes if he is. I tend to the finishing touches of my dinner that I have made for Emmett, a shrimp scampi dish with steamed vegetables. I can't wait to play tonight. I have a bit of a different scene set up but I feel good about it. The doorbell rings making my heart skip a beat. Let's hope this weekend ends in a completely different way than it usually does.

"Hello bear," I greet him, pulling him in the door, running my hands over his stomach and then shutting the door behind him.

He grabs my hand that is holding onto his shirt and lifts it to his lips,ghosting his lips over my knuckles._ What the fuck_? Immediately I notice a change in him. Dammit, this can't be good.

"Hello, Sir," he states. Yeah, this is not good. He is being very formal with me and he hasn't been like this since the beginning of our arrangement. This is not good.

"I want you kneeling in my dining room in five minutes. Go put your bag in the bedroom and strip down to your boxers. Go now." I see him turn away from me, moving to do my bidding. My heart clenches at the thought of him wanting to end our arrangement.

I decide that if he is going to be the distant submissive, then I will be the distant Master. I will not let my feelings for him get in the way. I go to the kitchen to dish out our dinner onto one plate, grab a bottle of water and head to the dining room. Two minutes later I hear him enter the dining room. I look to the doorway on the right and he is kneeling on the right side of the door in his waiting position.

"Crawl to me bear, come and let me feed you," I say to him as I tap my right hip.

He does as I ask of him, crawling across the floor until he reaches my right side. He maneuvers himself so that his ass sitting on the heels of his feet, his back is completely straight and his forearms are flat against his thighs. The only difference from his waiting position and this one is that his eyes are on my hip, he cannot look me in the eye; however, he can see my silent commands to him.

I begin to feed him, off and on, the dinner that I have prepared for us as we sit in utter silence. Normally it would be a comfortable silence, though that is not the case tonight. No, tonight the silence is filled with unanswered questions.

This is the first time ever that I am thinking of not doing a scene with him. It feels off somehow. After dinner we begin our weekend routine, him cleaning up after the dinner and meeting me in the playroom in twenty minutes. I trudge up to my room in complete despair. Fine, if he wants me to only be his Master, and nothing else, then so be it.

That is how I will act tonight, as if he is nothing more than my slave.

My thoughts are darkening pretty quickly, making me feel unfocused and uncontrollable. I pull on my favorite jeans that I only wear in the playroom, run my hands over the soft light blue denim, take a deep breath and leave to go meet Emmett in the playroom.

I open the door to the playroom feeling more confused then ever. This is what I need right now. I need to feel control. If I can't control my thoughts, then at least I can control what is going to happen in here right now. I plan on giving him some pleasurable torture right now. Looking over at Emmett, I see him in the usual waiting position, causing my heart to skip a beat.

Yes, I plan on making this worth the beating I have put my mind through last night and this morning. I walk over to him and stand directly in front of what's mine. After grabbing his training collar, a heavy, metal, chain-linked collar, with a small padlock on the front, I slip the key, that is on a chain, around my neck and walk over to him.

"Emmett, are you willing to put your whole trust in me, giving me nothing less than your whole submission, with the knowledge that I only have the best of intentions when it comes to providing you love, care, honesty and truth? Look at me when you answer."

"Yes Sir, this submissive gives you his whole submission, and will do whatever he can to make sure you are ultimately pleased," he recites. We always use the same lines to one another when we begin a scene.

"That's my good bear. Go over and stand at the cross so I can strap you in." He crawls over to the cross and stands with his back against the cold metal as I pull everything I need out of the chest of drawers, placing them on a small metal rolling tray, the kind that can be found in a doctor's office. I grab a black leather ball stretcher, three sets of weights, arnica cream, a small ball gag, and my bullhide flogger.

As I am strapping Emmett into the silver frame of the St. Andrews Cross, I begin to question whether or not I should even scene with him right now. Doing any kind of a play scene while unfocused can turn dangerous very easily. He is now facing me, cuffed at his ankles and wrists with his back against the large cross. He is semi hard at the moment, with his eyes closed, he looks as if he is concentrating very hard on something outside of this playroom. I turn to the right and pull the small metal table closer to me so everything I need for this scene is within easy reach.

"I need to prepare you bear. Do not look at me or make a sound do you understand?" He nods.

With my right hand I grab his ball sack and start slowly massaging him. Using my left hand, I grab the one inch black leather ball stretcher and start attaching it. The ball stretcher is a confinement that wraps around his nut sack at the top, near the base of his cock, with two straps hanging down that hold a small metal ring at the end. You can attach weights, lead a submissive around, the possibilities are endless. This small intrusive device will also stop him from having any kind of release. This is about me right now...not him. His large sack is now bulging out at the end of the cage. Looking up at Emmett's eyes, I see him clenching them as tightly as he can. His lips are in a tight line. He is clenching his fists tightly, making his knuckles a ghastly white.

"I need your color bear, answer me."

"Green, Master."

I nod and go back to preparing him with his cock restraints. I reach to the metal table again and grab two, two ounce weights. They are black, tear drop shaped and have a quick clip at the top making it easier for adding or taking off the weights from the ball stretcher. I place them on the small metal clips from the leather strap and lightly tug on each one as it clasps shut. Bear hisses softly. Taking two steps back, I look over the work of art that makes up his restrained manhood. I don't normally indulge in cock and ball torture, however tonight I need something different, darker even.

"Are you still green, bear? Nod if you are." He nods quickly without opening his eyes, flinching ever so lightly.

Picking up my hunter green bullhide flogger, I position myself directly in front of him.

"Remember, do not make any noises or I will gag you."

Starting off gently, I flick the impact toy against his lower body parts...his legs, his feet, his groin. I flick the flogger a few more times on his genitals, watching his body buck against the restraints.

I groan at his cock becoming a bit harder even with his scrotum restrained. The thicker straps of the bullhide are starting to make tiny welts in his skin. I move back to his body and remove the two ounce weights only to replace them with two, four ounce weights. I begin the flickering of the bull hide against his already reddened flesh once again. As I am flogging him, my mind does the one thing I try to never do when scening, it begins to flood with thoughts.

_I am in love with you._

_Why don't you love me?_

_Why don't you want me like I want you?_

_Why can't we have a normal relationship?_

_Why am I so fucked up?_

_Why do I feel so broken?_

I hear Emmett's tortured cry as I bring the next flick of the strands across his hips. I snap out of my thoughts, realizing that with every dark thought, I have been hitting him harder and harder with the flogger that I have now made a piece of torture. I am no longer just scening with him. I have become abusive. I look up to his face and see his eyes shut tightly, tears falling fast down his reddened face. _HOLY FUCK WHAT HAVE I DONE?_

_RED._

_RED._

"RED. RED. RED." I hear myself screaming. I drop the offensive implement and scramble to release Emmett from his torture. As I grab him down from the cross, I pull us to the floor and cradle him between my legs.

"Baby, I am so fucking sorry baby. Why didn't you red? I can't believe I did that. I am so fucking sorry. Please, please forgive me. Please," I plead with him. Planting kisses all over his face and shoulders, I reach up to the metal table and grab the arnica cream down.

"Master, it is what you needed. I will gladly take anything you give me if that is what you need." His eyes are full of raw emotion, still freely crying in my arms. I am the worst person in the entire world at this moment.

"No baby, that is not what I need. I am so sorry, more than I can ever express to you, I am so sorry. You put your trust in me not to abuse you and I broke that trust. I am so sorry, love."

"I know you are, Master. I am okay really. The pain is not that bad."

I begin rubbing the cream all over his body, being careful of the welts that are beginning to protrude from his skin. Odd thing is, his breathing is calm, he is calm. Why is he not hating me right now? Why isn't he kicking the shit out of me? I need to talk to him about what is going on, I need to get this out in the open right now.

"Emmett, we need to have a serious talk. You may choose where you would like to talk to me."

"Your bear would like to lay in your bed with you. If that would please you, Master."

"Alright, come on then." I help him stand up as we leave the room together to make our way down to our bedroom. I walk into my bedroom expecting to find all of Emmett's things around the room, yet the room is exactly how I left it this afternoon.

"Where did you put your things bear?" I turn to look at him standing just beyond the entrance of the room.

"I put them in the sub's room like normal," he shrugs.

Maybe he isn't comfortable sleeping in here with me. Maybe tonight he would rather sleep in his own room, away from the monster that I have become. I just want for him to be happy.

"Why don't you put on a pair of boxers and climb up to the bed," I tell him as I remove my jeans. I do not want the reminder of what I have done to be anywhere near me. I need to go lock up the playroom for awhile I believe.

After changing into different clothes and resting on the large bed, giving each other casual kisses and caresses, we start communicating, finally being honest with each other of what we need and want.

"Emmett, I am going to remove my collar for the rest of the weekend. I know we just started our weekend together, but I don't want to deal with what I have done to you in there. Lean forward so I can take it off please." I see a pained look in his eyes as he leans down so I can unlock the padlock that holds his collar together.

"Now, why don't we begin by you telling me what was bothering you today when you came over," I coax him.

"I don't know how to tell you what is bothering me." I can tell he is still in submissive mode, he is afraid to get reprimanded for saying the wrong thing.

"Let's just be you and me right now. Take away the D/s for a moment and just be Edward and Emmett, the best friends, right now. Tell me what is bothering you."

"I found a note on the floor on Wednesday morning. When I came in here, before I went to go workout, there was a note on the floor next to the bed. It was addressed to 'Sweet Thang'. I need to know if you are seeing someone else and doing our arrangement on the weekends. I told you I didn't want to be a dirty little secret anymore."

"Well, first of all, that dirty girl Tanya wrote it. She says she didn't but I am almost positive she did. I think it was her that trashed the Jeep, too. Second of all, you are not my dirty little secret. I have something to confess to you," I say to him as I look him in the eyes, "I am in love with you, Emmett. I want us to be in both a vanilla relationship and a D/s one. I don't want to hide anymore. However, I am afraid that you don't feel the same."

He smiles widely at me as he lunges for me, plastering his lips to mine in a hungry embrace. I pull his face into my hands, deepening the kiss. He gently pulls his head back from my hands and looks at me, eyes shining brightly.

"You have no clue how good it feels to hear you say that, Edward. I am in love with you, too. You are my best friend, my love, my Master, everything I could ever want."

"Do you think we should try to do the vanilla thing along with our D/s?" I look at him with hope burning in my eyes.

"Yes, love, I do."

* * *

><p>AN: I hope this chapter is what you all have been waiting for...whether you love it or hate it let me know by hitting that review button. Please be nice about the extreme scene. It was necessary and I understand not everyone likes that type of thing. Thank you all for reading my dirty little fantasy. Want more? Add me on facebook to get in your kinky fill: Lutz's Domm


	6. Chapter Six:Is tusa mo shaol

A/N: Thank you all for not hating me on Chapter 5! I was so surprised in the love that you all had given me, I needed to do something special for you all. But I will get to that in just a minute. First I need to discuss some things with you. Please remember in any BDSM relationship it is ALWAYS in a safe, sane, and consensual environment. I know that the scene in the last chapter was NOT safe, it was however consensual as Emmett did not safe word. Now, what happened last chapter is, without any doubt, complete abuse. If you are ever in a situation where you are being abused PLEASE tell someone. Do not allow it to happen to you, whether you are in a D/s relationship or not. KNOW YOUR LIMITS! Please reach out to someone if you, or someone you know, is being abused. Also, Edward was very confused about his feelings for Emmett as well as Emmett's feelings for him. To me, Edward hit rock bottom here. He needed to get things out in the open before this but he didn't. One thing about a D/s relationship is there is always open lines of communication, love, trust, and honesty. This was a poor display of what a true D/s relationship should be based on. There is a reason for that, however, it may not come up for a couple of chapters so please bare with me. Okay enough of the heavy, let's move on to this chapter. This, my friends, is Emmett's POV on Chapter 5. There will be some new information as well as some old. This will be the ONLY Em POV that I do. I wanted you to see why he did not RED on Edward. As always I would like to thank my pre-readers/beta's for doing such a wonderful job. Nocturnal Emissions and Nickeyd26 thank you for sticking through this chapter it was one wild ride!

***Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns anything and everything to do with the Twilight Saga, I just happen to take them out for a spin and have some fun!***

* * *

><p><em><span>Emmett's POV<span>_

Waking up next to my Master, my best friend, the love of my life, is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I really hope he allows me to move in with him. The day I can leave that shit hole apartment and never return will be the best day ever. I never told Edward but I am the brunt of a lot of hate crimes in that building. It seems like I can't walk up to my apartment without someone calling me some derogatory name. I'm used to it by now. My whole childhood was one big fuck up. Damn, this is too dark of a mood to wake up to.

I open my eyes to take in the wonderful sight. Edward is in front of me, his back against my chest, with his unruly, bronzed, locks in a sexy disarray. He looks so peaceful, asleep, like nothing I do can touch him. My sexuality, my submission, my damn childhood can no longer affect him while he is in dreamland. I kiss his temple as I move to get up.

"I am sorry ahead of time for the things I know will come today," I whisper in his ear.

I just know something is going to happen today. There is always something bad that happens when you have luck like mine. I am pretty sure I am cursed. I move quickly to go take my shower, eager to get this day over with. The water is warm against my skin as it cascades down my back. I normally use Irish Spring soap because I love using anything, or even doing anything that comes with my heritage, as I am of Irish ethnicity.

However, there is something about using Edward's Old Spice body wash when I stay at his house; knowing we both smell like each other, connecting us in a way that no one else knows about makes it intoxicating. I hurry my shower up, not wanting to take any more hot water away from Edward's guests. I wonder if his parents have left yet, and if they have caused any more scenes while I was asleep. I am dressed in a black polo shirt, pushed up to my elbows, light blue jeans, and Edward's favorite black silk boxers. I do not want to be dressed to the nine's if I have to fight Jacob today. I tip toe to the empty Master bedroom peeking in quickly to see if his parents need any help packing.

A small piece of crumpled paper laying on the ground near the foot of the bed catches my eye as I am about to leave. Oh man, I hope it's not something important. I uncrumple the paper to see the words _'Sweet Thang'_ written on it. Why is Jasper writing notes and how did it end up in here? I flip the paper over and read the short message._ What the hell? Is this some kind of sick joke?_ _Holy shit!_ Maybe it's a note from a girl that Edward is seeing. Dammit, I told him I didn't want to be a dirty little secret. I pocket the offensive scrap of paper and head down the stairs to find his parents setting up the kitchen counter with endless amounts of carbohydrates. Damn! Thank God Edward is still sleeping, I don't want to get yelled at for stuffing my face.

"Good morning Emmie," his mother exclaims as she rushes for me, pulling me into a warm hug.

"Good morning Mrs. Masen. How are you both doing today?"

"Aah son, we are just about to head out before Edward wakes up. I'm afraid he is not happy with us at the moment," Mr. Masen replies as he pulls Edward's mother away from my reach, stopping her from smothering me to death.

"Well I am glad that you guys are here. It means a lot to me that you were able to see Edward."

"Ha, you are the only one to enjoy us. Edward is a bit of a basket case when it comes to the two of us," Mrs. Masen murmurs, clearly getting upset.

"Anywho, we are on our way now. Take care of my baby for me please Emmie. Break his hard shell and love him unconditionally please."

"Of course. I will do whatever it takes to make sure he is happy," I assure her.

They both nod at me as they leave the house. I happen to rather like his parents. So much nicer than my own. I grab a hand full of donuts and head down to go work off the carbs I am shoving into my mouth.

* * *

><p>My workout was going well until that damn woman, who was hitting on my man, walks into the workout room. There is something seriously disturbing about her. I know there's something more about her that I don't like, other than her hitting on Edward, but I can't quite put my finger on it.<p>

"Well hello cutie. How are you doing this fine morning?" she tries to purr at me. She doesn't quite get it down, the huskiness of her voice messing with what should have been a sexy move._ Man she is nasty_. Why couldn't she have left already?

"I am fine thank you," I reply curtly, wanting to scream at her to leave me alone.

"How did you know Victoria?" she says, slightly sneering her name. I watch her face change intermittently and then go right back to being flirtatious. Yeah, there is something going on here.

"I work with her sister Alice. How do you know her?" Can I drop this weight on her head and get away with it?_ Death by free weight, complete accident Officer, I swear._

"We went to school together. She was dating my ex-boyfriend James," she proclaims haughtily. I wonder if she is a suspect for Vicky's murder? I'm gonna have to check that out.

"Oh cool." I go back to lifting the hundred pounds of weights, fifty in each hand. I need to get away from her without being rude. I take a step farther away from her every so often, to ease the distance, but not be an asshole. No matter what anyone does to me, I don't ever want to be an asshole.

"Wow, your muscles are huge, you remind me of a huge bear." How dare she call me that? Only my Master can call me that!

"Don't call me that. There is only one person on this planet that calls me that." Forget this, I will deal with the Edward's punishment before I sit here and deal with this shit.

I grab my bottle of water and head for the door when I feel the familiar tingle that I always feel when Edward is near. I wonder how long he has been standing there. I feel a small smile creep upon my lips. Thank God he had shown up. I thought she was going to rape me right there on the floor. _So gross._ I see Edward directly in front of me now, standing so he is in my line of view.

"Good morning." I can't seem to keep the smile off my face.

"Good morning. I hope that woman hasn't been bothering you."

"Actually, that woman gives me the creeps." My skin crawls in disgust.

"I know how you feel. My stomach drops to my knees whenever she is near me." He leans closer to me, like he is telling me a secret. We leave the room and set out to get ready for work.

* * *

><p>This will be my first time ever driving Edward's precious Volvo. It feels funny to me now to drive a vehicle so close to the ground, foreign even. The Jeep has a suspension kit built in keeping me higher off the ground. <em>Great for off-roading<em>. Why did someone want to destroy my baby? I bought the silver 2007 four door Jeep Wrangler_ Unlimited_ _Rubicon Series_ brand new, mainly because I was tired of ruining vehicles in my off-road excursions. I love going mudding and breaking in new trails. It's an expensive hobby. I will admit, there have been numerous times that I've had to have my vehicles towed because I destroyed the front end, making it impossible to drive._ I miss my baby._

I enter the beauty salon, yes, I Emmett freakin' McCarty am walking into a beauty salon. I have to laugh at myself as I remember when this used to be a place where I felt uncomfortable going. Men get squirrely after spending hours in that place, always filled with a woman's witty banter. Now I am bombarded with a symphony of _'Hey_ _Emmett's_',making me feel at home; even if it is only for a brief moment in time. I walk up the counter, to the dark-haired beauty with glasses, a shy girl named Angela, one of my favorites, greeting her with our usual hello.

"Hey there dollface, you ready to work me over?" I smile at her.

"Hey muscles you ready to be worked over?" She grins back at me. Angela Weber and her partner Jessica Stanley are the only two females who have ever touched my adult body. Thank God they are lesbians.

"As always," I tell her, just as she is leading me to the back room where I will receive my full body wax. I have done this so many times now that I can actually think through the spouts of welcomed pain.

As my body is being shed of any and all hair, I let my mind wander back to this morning at work, and Jacob's big mouth. I honestly have no idea what has happened between us lately to have him react to me this way. We used to hang out all the time, going fishing, playing basketball, doing the _'man'_ thing. I have put my life on the line for that man numerous times. What, just because I didn't stand in front of a moving bullet for him, I am a bad person or something?

My thoughts then move throughout the meeting with Head Agent Swan and Edward. _Aah man Edward_, why did you have to go and out us at work for, dammit? I have held onto my secret for years, not wanting to bring attention to myself. I am glad they made Jacob move to another Bureau. I don't know what I would have done if they told me I had to move away from Edward, my Master, my best friend, my love. Was he serious when he mentioned wanting something more than just our D/s relationship?

My mind is whipped back into the present as Angela moves to my groin to rid me of the body hair there, damn this is the only part I cannot think through. I suck it up and act like a woman, grunting as little as possible through the pain. You know women are much stronger then men, they can handle a shit load more of pain.

Now that my nuts are red, achy, and slightly bleeding, okay not really bleeding but still...I head off to change vehicles, grabbing the new Jeep from Edward's. I turn off the Volvo's engine, I sit in the driveway for a moment, anger and sorrow coursing through my veins as I look over to his house; wishing it was my own. Whatever happened to him wanting me to move in with him? I don't want to upset him anymore than I already have today, so I leave his keys on the seat and climb into the strange vehicle to head to the lonely place I once called home. It hasn't been a home to me in a long time._ Home is where your heart is and all that jazz._

* * *

><p>Laying in bed is one of the worst times of the day for me, the loneliest of times. I always try to wait until the last minute of the night to lay in bed. It reminds me I have no family, no real friends. The only time I feel at ease is when I am staying the weekend at Edward's house. My only true family that I have still live in Ireland. My Aunt Siobhan and Uncle Liam's family are the only family that I talk to anymore. Their daughter Maggie happens to be one of my favorite people in the world. She knows everything about me, I have never hidden myself from her.<p>

I can't wait to go on vacation, I want to go see them so badly. I look back down to the letter that came from Maggie, pulling myself out of my introspection, to pin the it on the fridge. I'm sure I will read the letter a few more times before I pack it way in the box with all the others. Seems like tonight is going to be another take out night. I order my favorite food, Chinese, and settle into the couch to watch movies. Yes, I know, I have a very boring life.

After awhile my thoughts begin to slowly drift back to Edward and what he would be doing right now. I pull the scrap of paper out of my pocket for the fourth time today, rereading the offensive crap written on it, again wondering. Wondering if maybe I am nothing more to him than just a weekend arrangement. _Fuck me, I am going to get_ _hurt._ The only way to prevent that from happening is to distance myself from him and be the best slave that I can be.

Every day at work I try my best to stay away from Edward, or well anyone really._ Fuck!_ Everywhere I turn it seems, I feel that familiar pull towards him, surrounding me, engulfing my head, making it hard to concentrate. I just want to be alone, to wallow in my self-guilt. I am starting to feel guilty for ever having feelings for him; when I should have realized he wasn't going to feel the same way about me.

What Edward doesn't know is in the beginning he used to dream about Irina, his ex-girlfriend. The girl from the bar I assume. He used talk in his sleep, mumbling her name. Sometimes I think it's the only time he is really open about things,never fearing the judgement that being awake can provide. I never told him I knew about her. I figured if he wanted me to know about her, he would tell me on his own. I can't wait for the end of the day to come, needing to be away from the torture. It's a painful torture, being so close to Edward, yet so far away from what I truly want.

* * *

><p>Friday has finally come, work behind me, my future resting just beyond that wooden door. Tonight will make us or break us, I'm sure. No matter what happens tonight, I will gladly deal with it, as long as I am able to spend a bit more time with him. If this should be the last time I will ever be allowed here, I might as well make it worth my time. I will show him he means everything to me, even if he holds me at arm's length.<em> Might as well get this show on the road.<em> I walk up the door and give a quick few raps to the solid maple, giving sign to my presence. At least I am not late tonight, I don't want to start off with a punishment. He opens the door with excitement, grinning widely at me.

""Hello bear," he answers, grabbing a hold of my shirt so he can run his hands along my abdomen. I grab the hand from my shirt and lightly press my lips to his skin over the knuckles. Damn I want to just rush his mouth with wet, hot, desirable kisses.

"Hello, Sir," I say without any emotion. If I let myself have feelings now, it will all come pouring out my mouth like hot liquid fire. Please, don't let me fail him.

After our ritual greeting with each other, dinner was served in the dining room; a delicious dish of shrimp scampi and steamed veggies._ Damn I love his cooking_. When he speaks to me, he sounds so emotionless, so void of his soulful spark. The spark of life that makes me love him so much. Damn it, I sound like a romance novel now, all this 'holding my feelings in' has turned me emo.

What is he thinking that is constantly causing him to tense up? His body language is kinda scary tonight. Finally, I hear him telling me I have twenty minutes to be naked and in his playroom. I quickly clean up the kitchen, putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and setting it to clean. I stand back against the kitchen's doorjamb and gaze around one of my free zones, longing for this to be my home one day, being able to wake up every morning, serving Edward breakfast, lunch and dinner. _Damn, I am_ _going to be late if I keep this up._

I race up the stairs to what used to be the sub's room. The once hunter green room has now gone white, the feeling of home and comfort now gone with the color. Oh well, if he wants me to be just a slave, then that's how I will act. I quickly strip down to my bare skin, as naked as the day my mother gave birth to me. I love having no body hair. It comes with great benefits. I look over at the clock on the bedside table, shit, I only have five minutes left before Edward will be entering the playroom. I quickly check for any stray hairs, granting myself satisfaction. I race to the playroom to place myself in total submission.

I am kneeling in my waiting position for what feels like a lifetime when I finally feel that familiar awareness caress every inch of my body. It feels like a million little pin pricks along my scalp and arms, a tingling sensation, causing the flesh of my body to shiver in anticipation for my Master's touch. I would do anything to feel his touch right now, take in a thousand deaths for the chance to please him. With a quick peek from under my lashes I see he is not his normal self, standing over by the chest of long drawers pulling out a collar for me, tension rolling off his body. Come on Master, give me whatever you got, I will take it all. I take a deep breath and brace myself for whatever he intends to do tonight. I will be the perfect submissive. Already I know I should be calling red, seeing the signs, he is not in the right mind frame to scene with me. I know his body language better than I know my own. Damn I have a feeling this is going to hurt today, I think as he finally walks over to me.

"Emmett, are you willing to put your whole trust in me, giving me nothing less than your whole submission, with the knowledge that I only have the best of intentions when it comes to providing you love, care, honesty and truth? Look at me when you answer."

"Yes Sir, this submissive gives you his whole submission, and will do whatever he can to make sure you are ultimately pleased," I say fervently, wanting to give him my complete submission, needing nothing more than to please him.

* * *

><p><em>Red. Red. Red. I should say it. I know I should say it. But I don't.<em> Why have I not called red before now? If I did, then I wouldn't be strapped to this damn cross with a ball stretcher attached to my precious nuts._ Fuck this is going to hurt._ Don't worry baby, whatever you give me I will take. I will break through that heart, your heart that has been too hard,and without feelings for so long.

As he begins to stroke my skin with the tendrils of bullhide, I stop myself from feeling the pleasure. I need to keep my composure as long as I can._ You need to red, Emmett. Come on, say the fucking word. No, no I will not call red! He needs this, needs to free himself of his personal torture. I do love you, when are you going to realize_ _this_, I think as the tendrils are picking up speed.

The comfort I normally take in from this particular implement is no longer there. The pleasurable pain that I long for is now missing, replaced by physical pain. Pain of the flesh I can take. It is the hits to my soul that break me. I can not look at my Master. His expression rips at my very being as the flogger tears at my flesh. This here, is the epicenter of my torture.

The long flogger fronds no longer feel like caresses to my skin, now they feel like small razors, scraping against my already tender flesh. Each strand leaves trails of searing heat as it slips down my body. The strands are harsh against my abdomen and legs. The strikes are beginning to break open tiny welts, barely leaking blood. I can feel the heat pouring off me like an oozing plague of shame and sorrow. I need to stay strong for my Master, help him through his pain. I feel shame for the tears that are rapidly flowing down my face, and sorrow that I can't seem to stay strong for him, my horrible tears will only hurt him. I wish I could wipe them away, save him from having to see. He is not a cruel Master, my pain will greatly affect him later. I can only wish that each time he strikes me the pain is beginning to heal him; it's the only pain that matters.

It is getting harder to hold it together. I try to strengthen my resolve when a horrifying thought crosses my mind. Is he doing this to make me 'red', to end our relationship, to end us? Please God, anything but that! I will take everything he can give me. I will bite my tongue 'till it bleeds, but I WILL NOT RED.

I need to feel the physical pain that I know he is feeling mentally, I can see, almost feel, his anguish. I can't stand to see him like this any longer._ I'm so sorry Master, I_ _held on as long as I could_. Just as I am about to finally call red, I see it. The completely raw, full of emotion, open door to his soul, in those longing eyes, he is just as much in love with me as I am with him. For a brief second of time my world stands still. _My Master loves me back._ That is the one thing that is keeping me afloat. The tears that have been falling down my face are now picking up speed, completely staining my cheeks with wetness. Tears of love...shame...trust. Every time that flogger hits my skin, my mind screams out to my Master, hoping that he can hear my pleas.

_I love you._

_I love you._

_Is tusa mo shaol._

I hear him scream something while awaiting his next strike. It takes me a moment to pull myself from the black abyss I have fallen into, a dark recess of my mind where Master Edward and I are in love, married, dying a peaceful death, together.

"RED. RED. RED." I am finally able to make out the words.I open my eyes to see him on his knees, his hands pulling his hair tightly, giving me full access to see his tortured expression. When he finally realizes I am still stuck in the small torture chamber, he releases my cock and pulls me down from the cross.

_Oh thank God._ I will forever be in gratitude to that one simple word. I hope he has finally come to realize the amount of love we have for each other, love so deep it could withstand a thousand blows never harmed.

"Baby, I am so fucking sorry baby. Why didn't you red? I can't believe I did that. I am so fucking sorry. Please, please forgive me. Please," he pleads, a stray tear coming down his cheek.

"Master, it is what you needed. I will gladly take anything you give me if that is what you need," I tell him as he is rubbing the healing cream against my heated skin. The feeling of his hands along my sores is heavenly. The calming effect he has on me, has nothing to do with the cream, it is all him.

"No baby, that is not what I need. I am so sorry, more than I can ever express to you, I am so sorry. You put your trust in me not to abuse you, and I broke that trust. I am so sorry, love."

"I know you are, Master. I am okay really. The pain is not that bad." I need to make sure he knows I took the pain for him. I allow contentment and love to flow through me as he runs his hands along my entire body, making sure to cover it all with the slightly chilled cream. He keeps apologizing to me. As I keep telling him it's fine, he finally decides he wants to have a serious heart to heart.

We leave the playroom together, our bodies almost touching, as we make our way to his bedroom. After getting dressed and laying down on his bed, the need to touch each other becomes unbearable. He softly kisses my lips, my cheeks, down my neck. There is nothing sexual about his ministrations, it's his need to plead his forgiveness. My hands are running along his stomach, around to his back, over his arms, showing him there is no reason to be apologizing, he is already forgiven.

"Emmett, I am going to remove my collar for the rest of the weekend. I know we just started our time together, but I don't want to deal with what I have done to you in there. Lean forward so I can take it off please."

Oh no, this must be it, the part where he tells me he wants to end everything, before it even has the chance to blossom. He wants to destroy our future. I lean forward allowing him to remove the evidence that I belong to only him.

"Now, why don't we begin by you telling me what was bothering you today when you came over," he says gently.

"I don't know how to tell you what is bothering me." I have to tell him about the note that I found but I don't know how to start. Okay he wants to just be us, no D/s involvement right now, then so be it. I tell him about the note and what I think it means, that he has someone else besides just me, stressing to him I don't want to be his dirty little secret. I just want him to love me and only me.

What he says next was so shocking that I think my heart may have stopped beating for a moment.

"I am in love with you, Emmett. I want us to be in both a vanilla relationship and a D/s one. I don't want to hide anymore. However, I am afraid that you don't feel the same."

_Holy shit, he is in love with me?_

His words have me smiling and feeling like I was just given the gift of lfe. _Finally_. Nothing else on this planet matters right now, except for him, his love, and the start of our relationship together.

"You have no clue how good it feels to hear you say that, Edward. I am in love with you, too. You are my best friend, my love, my Master, everything I could ever want."

_Oh baby, is tusa mo shao_l, I think to myself. The words are gaelic, the language that is spoken by Irishmen and Scotsmen, a language I only know because of my cousin Maggie. She likes to teach me little sayings. 'Is tusa mo shaol' is one of my favorites, I remember hearing my grandpa telling my grandmother those words every time he needed to leave the house.

_You are my world._

_My life._

_My everything._

"Do you think we should try to do the vanilla thing along with our D/s?"

I answer him with everything I have to give, full of passion and complete truth,

"Yes, love, I do."

* * *

><p>AN: I hope you all truly enjoyed this chapter as I had writing it. I will admit this was not an easy chapter to write, Emmett is my favorite character and I was not liking the fact that I was hurting him. However, I do hope this gives you some insight to the mind of a sub, as well as I can portray it, at any rate. I truly love reading the reviews so if you wouldn't mind please send me some love, or even hate if you wouldn't mind. Until next time...*MUAH*

**Oh yes by the way: 'Is tusa mo shaol' is a gaelic saying that means 'You are my world'. Another translation is 'You are my life'.**


	7. Chapter Seven: The Aftermath

A/N: Welcome back! I hope a majority of you are still here after watching me put Emmett through some pretty crappy stuff. I have major thanking to do today, for my two beta's Nocturnal Emissions and Nickeyd26. If it weren't for the two of them this chapter may never have come out. I have been dealing with some personal issues(toothaches, impacted wisdom teeth, trying to write while half asleep) and it took the two of them to pull me out of my rut to get this chapter to you. Want to get to know my two favorite girls? Come and check out their pages on Facebook. Nickey's is: http:/www (dot) facebook(dot)com/pages/Nickeyd26/314561435261264 (Nickeyd26) and you can find Nocturnal in her Wreck Room:http:/www( dot)facebook(dot)com/groups/324518074253528/.** Just don't forget to put real *dots* in!** Come and show my awesome ladies some love! I love you both whole-heartily for helping me through this one. Alright before I start rambling let's get this chapter going shall we? OH, before I forget... if you have not seen the new banner make sure you check it out. The amazingly talented SoapyMayhem was gracious enough to make this for me. I will never be able to thank her enough for giving me something so awesome! As always if you are not 18 you need to scram. I am not trying to corrupt our world's youth.

**Disclaimer: All things, persons, and places dealing with the Twilight Saga belong to Stephenie Meyer. I only take them out for a little bit of fun. Enjoy :)**

* * *

><p><em>The Aftermath<em>

Pain...torture...abuse. These are the things that are persecuting my mind, as I lay here watching Emmett sleep. He seems so peaceful, angelic even. I can't believe he would even want a relationship with me after that abomination of a scene, much less be comfortable sleeping here next to me. I watch the rise and fall of his chest, needing to make sure his breathing is not labored from underlying pain. I am a monster. I should not be allowed to ever step foot back into a playroom again. Thank goodness they don't have licenses to be a Dom, otherwise mine would be revoked right now. I can feel the onslaught of tears threatening to break loose again. I have been quietly crying off and on for a few hours now. Even after the abuse I put him through, he didn't run. He still wants to be with me. As I pull on my copper locks, trying desperately to give myself a fraction of the pain that I have caused him, I realize that I will forever be thankful to the man lying next to me.

Glancing at the clock, it occurs to me that I will never be good enough for him. The luminous numbers display in blinding brightness that it's two am. I can't wait until morning to talk to Alec. I will gladly deal with him yelling at me, or possibly even him whipping me. It is not often, but in times like these I need to call my mentor. He should beat my ass raw for what I have done. I am actually hoping he will whip me, just so I can feel what Em must be feeling. I creep down to the kitchen so I don't wake Emmett up. My fingers dial Alec's number as I descend the stairs.

"Hello Edward. What can I do for you, so early in the morning?" Alec answers, sounding wide awake.

"Hi, Alec. I am sorry for calling so late, but I need to talk to you. I fucked up big time." My voice cracks.

"Alright, calm down. How bad is it? Is Emmett alright?" he questions, immediately slipping into an authority figure. His 'Dom' voice immediately brings me into submission. It has been a long time since I was a sub to him, but it will never change. I will always submit to his will. For me, this is exactly what I need right now, someone else to take control for just a sliver of time. I don't like to admit it, but even I need help at times.

"Yes he is fine, well as fine as he can be. I ended up giving him the lashing of a lifetime, Alec. I fucking marked his body with twelve fucking bright red cuts. They are not that deep; however they are quite ugly looking. I gave him aftercare and all that, but they still look horrible. He never called red. He never questioned what I was doing to him. He told me afterwards that he was willing to take whatever I was going to give him, if it was what I needed. I lost focus, and now he is hurt." By the time I get half way through my slightly crazed explanation I am back to full on crying. How did he even understand what I was saying? I bow my head to him in shame.

"Alright, alright. I am sure he had his reason for not calling red on you. Right now the only thing I care about is why you lost focus and what you plan on doing from here on out."

I take a deep breath attempting to get control over myself. "I lost focus because I was worried about him not loving me back, and I don't know what I plan on doing from here on out," I murmur. _That was the whole point of calling you_, I think to myself. However, I would never answer him with that kind of disrespect. His advice means everything to me.

"I am willing to bet anything that the reason why he did not safe word is because he is in love with you too. Have you guys even discussed your feelings yet? I am sure once that is out in the open it will be better for you both. However, it will not be easier."

"What do you mean? Can it really get any worse than it is right now? And yes, we have finally told each other how we feel. Apparently we were the last to know. We want to go vanilla but keep the D/s. Will we be able to pull that off?" My stomach is in knots as I wait for his response. I need his reassurance that we can make this work.

"Edward, you are a good Dom and a great person. First of all, yes I think everyone was aware of your chemistry with each other before either of you did. Secondly, yes you can pull both off."

I released the breath I was unconsciously holding.

Alec went on. "There are going to be hard times. You will mess up repeatedly, and it's not going to be easy, but it can be done. Look at me and Jane. We have been Master and slave for ten years but we've only been married for four of them. Eventually you will fall into a predictable pattern and it will become second nature to you both. Until then, don't go beating yourself up every time you make a mistake." His voice is like a soothing balm to my battered soul, giving me comfort and hope. Maybe it _is_ possible to have the best of both worlds. I voice my concern on one thing that has been plaguing my mind for a while now.

"I want him to move in with me, Alec. He has no real family and is awfully alone in that apartment. I need him near me. That shithole neighborhood is no place for someone like him."

"Well Edward, the only thing I can say about that is you guys need to redefine your contract and go from there. There is no right or wrong answer here. It is whatever works for you both, as long as you equally agree." His words always seem encouraging. Never once do I feel he is put out by my questioning.

I am just about to answer him when I see something out of the corner of my eye. Just beyond the doorway to the hall is Emmett, standing there watching me. Wearing a pair of blue plaid pajama bottoms, he looks like a demi god. His pants are riding so low I can easily see the deep cuts of his abdomen that form the delicious "V" in his skin, the devil's grin._ Holy hell he is going to kill me._

"Edward? Are you still there?" Oh shit, I had completely forgotten I was still on the phone.

"Actually Alec, I am going to have to let you go. Can we continue this another time please?" I don't want to stop this conversation, but it seems futile to stay on when Emmett is taunting me.

"Sure thing Eddie. Keep applying after care to the cuts. Now, you listen to me. If Emmett has forgiven you, then do yourself a favor and forgive yourself. You hear me?" I nod my head at him, even though I know he can't see me. I need to make sure I call him back at a later time. There is still so much I need to know about combining our two worlds.

"I will Alec. Thank you for talking to me," I reply. Without waiting for him to say anything more, I snap the phone closed and lightly toss it on the counter. My eyes are only for Emmett as he meanders over to me, giving me a sexy grin._ What is he up to? I don't remember him wearing pants when I left him in bed._

Emmett reaches for my hips, pulling me closer to his muscular chest as he leans towards my ear, whispering to me. "Let it go, Edward. You are forgiven. I am fine. I am not mad at you. But I will be mad if you do not let this go." He pulls back to look me in the eyes, showing me the honesty in his words.

"I'm sorry, it's hard for me to just forget what I did to you."

"I didn't say forget, I said let it go. There is a difference. Now let me give your mind something else to think about,_ right now_," he says, his voice dropping in lust.

"What did you have in mind?"_ This can't be good._

He grins at me before I feel his hand wrap around the back of my neck, pulling me closer to him. His kisses are passionate, loving, and incredibly soft. I know where this is leading, I just don't think I can bring myself to give him what he wants. I should never be allowed to touch him again.

"Emmett, no I can't touch you, not tonight. Please, I have done harm to you. I do not deserve your touch," I plead with him.

"Edward, relax. I am fine. I want you to touch me please." _Oh man, please don't beg._

His pajama pants are so low that they are only being held up by the base of his cock and well defined ass. I grab the waistline and pull them up his hips a bit more, not needing the distraction of his body. I cannot give in.

Never taking his lips from mine, his arms now wrapped around my waist, he turns us around so his back is against the island. _No...no...no. I do not want to take control Emmett...stop, please._

"No baby. I told you, I don't deserve your touch, your body against mine. I can't bare this right now." I cast _my_ eyes down from _him_. He can sense the change in me, I'm sure, which is why what he says next does not surprise me.

"I guess that means that I am in control of the situation, now. You will do as I say. Understand?"

I nod my head at him, slipping into an old, familiar frame of mind; submission._ I will do whatever he wants. I owe him that much at least._

"Don't move, stay perfectly still," he murmurs while moving to kiss my lips. I stay motionless while he glides his lips along my square jawline, down to my neck. He stops at my jugular sucking gently, acting as my own personal vampire. That feels so good._ Do not give in to temptation, Edward._ You must stay strong. My nipples are hard, tight nubs when he reaches them with his tongue needing to give each pink bud the same amount of attention. Grabbing my nipple between his teeth, he pulls gently, earning himself a quiet moan._ Damn that feels so good_, I think to myself as he grabs my other pectoral, kneading the muscle, making me moan again involuntarily.

No matter how much I want to resist him, I can't. He is making me feel too good. I wrap my arms around his lower back, pulling him up to my mouth, deepening the kiss to a half-crazed need. I can't get enough of his natural taste mingling with my own._ No! Wait!_ I need to remain in complete control of my urges. I can't give in to the beast that I feel is slowly taking over my senses. At least if I will not allow my own release, I can give him something to remember. He suddenly breaks our kiss, moving away from me to the freezer. Pulling out the ice cube tray, he slams it on the counter, causing a few ice cubes to jump out of the tray. _What the hell is he doing?_

With a devilish grin working its way across his plump, pink lips, he returns to his position in front of me, quickly sticking an ice cube in his mouth. Taking my nipple back between his lips, he swirls the freezing cold cube around the skin, causing my nipple to become rock hard._ Good thing there's no glass around. I don't want to test the theory of cutting glass._ I think the freezing sensation on my nipple is confusing me, clogging up my brain.

"Holy fuck, that is so cold baby," I moan, grabbing his head, seeking the hair that was once there, but coming up empty-handed. I wish he didn't cut it; I want to pull the shit outta it right now.

His mouth is becoming warmer now that the ice has melted. He stops the cold teasing, moving to place a second cube in his mouth. He moves to my other nipple this time, giving it same the icy, wet pleasure as my first. His hands wander down my hips, going straight for my massively hard cock, hidden beneath my pajama pants. Pulling them down a bit lower, he leaves my chest to glide his tongue straight down the center of my body. Moving past my sternum, I feel his tongue drag down the center cut of my muscles and swooping down to the waistband of my pj's.

My hips buck involuntarily against his mouth as he runs his tongue from one hip straight across the band to my other hip. Only stopping so he can pull the pants away from me, ever so slightly, to allow him to dip his tongue lower into my pants, running the tip of it along the base of my cock._ Fuck that feels amazing_. He continues to lick and suck over my skin to reach my other hip. Once there he sucks hard on the bone, causing me to instinctively buck my hips against his mouth again. He smiles up at me as he lowers my pants to the ground, simultaneously dropping to his knees.

As soon as my long, hard shaft has broken free from the waistband, it springs out, putting his mouth in perfect alignment to my now very swollen and needy tip. He acts like he is a starving man about to get his last meal. He grabs my base as he slams his mouth over my engorged head, and straight down my long aching shaft. Pulling his mouth back up my length, he turns his head and lightly scrapes his teeth along the sides, sucking hard as his tongue traces the bars of my Jacob's Ladder piercing. Once he reaches my purple mushroom tip, he swirls his tongue around my inflated tip, licking up the bead of salty liquid that has begun to seep out.

"Baby, please...do something please...stop teasing me," I beg, forgetting all about my wanting to not do anything with him tonight.

My mind is so far distracted by what he is doing to me; all sense of control is out the window. He is in the driver's seat, and for a brief moment of time I remember what it's like to be a submissive. Giving up complete control to another person is scary and yet strangely exhilarating. I am no longer having to plan what will happen next, not having to watch his every move to make sure it's pleasurable for him. The lack of control is oddly comforting to me at this moment. I can't hurt him if he is the one calling the shots.

His voice brings me back. "Impatient, aren't we baby," he teases. "I _will_ be fucking that tight ass...eventually. In the meantime, enjoy the intense pleasure love." He rushes out in a quick breath, before taking my cock back into his scorching hot mouth. _Yep, I am positive now, he is trying to kill me._

His tongue feels amazing against the rungs of my piercing, tracing around each individual one. He slides his tongue under the ball, back over the top of it, taking the steel in his teeth and twirling the bar in circles. The sensations that those little movements cause wave after wave of pure ecstasy to course through the full length of my cock. My dick grows unbelievably harder now as he grabs my nuts in his other hand, kneading them, making sure to include them in his tantalizing torment. If this is how I am going to die, I can think of no one else I would want to give me my last moment._ I will die by orgasm from Emmett, any day of the week._

He rises up from his knees, bringing his mouth to mine, kissing me reverently. His tongue grazes over my bottom lip, seeking entrance to explore the inner workings of my mouth. I open up to him, feeling his tongue enter, swiping across my own. I can taste myself on him. That is dangerously erotic. _Keep a hold of yourself Edward. Do_ _not let that beast out_. My brain begins to recede from the passion-filled lust. My body needs only that moment to remind myself of the pain I am capable of causing. He steps back from me, his brows narrowing in frustration.

"Do not pull away from me. Did you forget? I'm the one calling the shots now."

"I am sorry. I do _not_ want to hurt you," I mumble.

He growls at me, clearly getting upset with my unwillingness to forgive myself. "Fuck this shit, Edward. I have already forgiven you. You are not going to hurt me."

"Emmett! You have twelve gashes on your stomach! I don't even want to touch that section of your body for fear of hurting you more."

He roughly grabs my wrist, pulling my arm out to touch him. Placing his hands above mine, he glides our fingers over the shallow cuts. I wince as I feel the slight indentation of ruined skin, where my implement- no, where_ I_ have marked him. I am the worst person in the entire planet right now. A stray tear runs down my cheek as he continues tracing his wounds with my hesitant fingertips.

"It's okay love. I _am_ okay. I am glad to be marked by you. It's one more thing that makes me yours," he whispers, wiping away the fallen tear.

"I love you Edward. You need to trust me right now to give you what you need."

I nod my head at him, again glancing down at the floor between us. Wrapping his hand around my neck, he pulls my mouth closer to his, giving me soft, sweet, and tender kisses. He rests my back against the counter lifting my legs up to wrap around his waist. _Way to make me feel like a little shit, baby_. Depositing kisses along my neck and shoulders, he grabs a bottle of lube and a condom out of his pants pocket. _Now I get why he put on pants._ With my ass resting on the edge of the counter and Emmett standing between my legs, I finally give in to the complete loss of control. I allow him to have his way with me, but under no circumstance will I allow myself a release. That is one thing I will never give up control over ever again. I have never been so thankful for the years of practice in self-deprivation of orgasms, until now. It will make this a tad bit easier for me to resist the impulse. Emmett may take his pleasure in any way he wishes, but I will not give in. This is for him. I need him to feel something other than pain from me.

A cold sensation on my ass brings me out of my internal struggles. His lubed finger slips into my tight darkness. The feeling brings a jolt of desire straight to my cock._ And_ _so it begins_. I let my mind slip away from the here and now and focus solely on my breathing. He begins to work a second finger into me. Breathe in, feel the lungs expand. Breathe out, the deflation relaxes my chest muscles. Over and over I continue this as he places the head of his condom sheathed dick against me. I look up into his eyes. Love. That is all I see.

He penetrates me slowly; my inner muscles gradually engulf his enlarged tip. Each exquisite inch is beating against the fortitude of my control. I cannot look at him and be successful in the task I have set upon myself. I kiss him softly once when I feel him hit his end. We are as connected as any two humans can be. I release his lips and allow myself to fall back as I close my eyes, moaning with pleasure. Pleasure that I surely do not deserve.

_Breathe through it. Focus anywhere but here_. This becomes my mantra as Emmett sets a steady rhythm. It is so incredibly difficult to ignore the feeling of him caressing me from the inside out. I can feel his every ridge, every vein in my tight cavern, pulsing, rocking against me, his hands holding my thighs tightly to his stomach. His swollen tip is gently hitting against my prostate, causing the need in me to grow. Each thrust he gives, I willingly accept. I begin to reflexively meet his thrusts. My hands desperately try to grip onto the counter, aiding him in a sea of continual waves of mutual pleasure. I feel a bit better hearing his groans. I chance a look and watch his eyes fall back into his head. As his eyes reopen they are then filled with contented lust. He looks down at me as though I am a worthy prize. I close my eyes before shame and regret can fill my mind again.

"Look at me dammit. Don't shut yourself off from me," he growls.

I do as I am asked, opening my eyes once again. Only this time I will not allow myself to feel anything. I need to remember I am doing this for him. The only pleasure I am going to allow myself to feel is the satisfaction of bringing Emmett his release. My self-deprivation has softened my need to cum, if only slightly. Intense pleasure is not meant for me, but at least I can help him to find it.

"Harder...please baby. Fuck me harder," I pant.

Nodding once, he picks up his pace. He thrust into me faster, and deeper than before, a light sheen of sweat forms on Emmett's chest. Before he can make the move to grab my length I move my hands from the countertop to grip his wrists, holding them in place. If he grabs me, it will be my undoing. I will never be able to hold off my orgasm. The energy between us is slowly changing from passion to raw lust, as he picks up his pace even more. I need to think of something else before I end up giving in. Taking my eyes off of his face, I move them down to see the wounds on his abdomen. It would be very fitting for me to look at what I have done while he is bringing himself to a climax. While staring at the red inflamed skin of his stomach, I clamp my ass muscles around him in quick succession bringing him to a fulfilling release.

"Oh fuck me...fuck that feels so good, baby," he moans.

I grind my teeth and let loose a growl. It is almost over. I hold my breath as Emmett thrusts into me a few more times, milking every last ounce of bliss out of his orgasm. I close my eyes as Emmett's labored breathing starts to subside, his body still leaning on me. It feels like an eternity has passed before he begins to move again, when I hear_ 'what the fuck'._ I look up to see confusion on his flushed face.

"Edward, are you planning on cumming at all?"

"Not really, no," I mumble._ I think he might be angry._

He straightens up, looking down at me still lying on the counter. "Why the fuck are you withholding?" He growls at me, as he pulls out. Even though I never deserved it, I instantly miss the way he felt inside me.

"I don't deserve to have a release. That is my punishment for what I did to you." He backs away from me, acting as if I just slapped him in the face.

"The fuck you don't. How many fucking times do I have to tell you? You are forgiven, Edward." I see anger light a fire in his eyes. "Fine, you want me to be mad at you. Okay, well you just got your wish. I am fucking pissed that no matter how many times I tell you, you are forgiven, you don't believe me. I even tried to show you I am not mad and you throw that back in my face."

I stare back without uttering a word. Now, Emmett can finally release his anger as well.

He comes at me, standing face to face with me, as he screams, "What's wrong, cat got your tongue? Let me be clear, I think_ you_ not cumming when I _fuck_ you is a slap in the face, Edward," he snarls as he points to my still very hard and painful erection.

"This is not about you baby. This is about me and my need for penance."

"Yeah, I think you've accomplished that. Not only did you just receive punishment but so did I." He pulls the condom off and throws it at my chest.

The anger that flared momentarily is suddenly eclipsed by hurt.

"Thank you for the punishment, _Sir_." He sneers at me, before turning away to charge up the stairs.

_What the fuck have I done?_ I wanted him to be angry at me, not hurt. I did it again. Why do I keep pushing him away? I think as I run my hands through my hair, looking down at the sticky mess on my chest.

I don't think this is a good way to start out a relationship with Emmett. I need to fix this. I know deep down I can't fix this without forgiving myself first. I didn't mean to hurt him. Everyone makes mistakes. I am only human. I need to show him just how much I love him by forgiving the past and moving forward to the present and future, starting now. I quickly run to the sink to clean up the mess before bounding up the stairs two at a time. My need to get to Emmett faster takes over.

At the top of the stairs I listen quietly, giving myself an idea of where he might be. Sure enough, I hear him pacing in the old 'subs' room. Taking a deep breath in, I walk up to the door with the heavy knowledge that it is up to me to make things right again. I take another deep breath in and hold it while I knock on the door.

"What Edward, what do you want?" he growls audibly at me. I blow my breath out. This might take a bit to convince him that I am not here to continue the fight with him.

"May I come in please?"

"Do whatever you want. It's _your_ house." He snaps back.

"Can you unlock the door for me. I really don't feel like kicking down a door that I am going to have to pay for later."

"Fine." I hear the lock click, and he opens the door a few inches. "Come in. Not that this is my room anymore anyways."

I run my hands through my hair. He is not going to make this easy for me. I push the door the rest of the way open. Taking a deep breath, I try to calmly speak. "Emmett. I came up here to apologize to you, not to keep fighting."

"Yeah, well not everything works out the way you want it to. You made me feel like shit Edward. I felt unloved, undesirable...disgusting. I haven't felt like that since my mother kicked me out for being gay."

"Oh baby that is not how I meant for you to feel. Honestly, I was so wrapped up in my own chastisement I wasn't thinking about how you would take it. I'm sorry for making you feel that way." I move towards him and wrap arms around him. He doesn't stop me, but he doesn't respond either. He stands there stiffly while I speak.

"I am in love with you Emmett. You_ are_ loved. You_ are_ desirable, and I have never thought you were disgusting, baby. I want you to know the reason why I changed this room back to a guest room is because I don't plan on having you stay in here, ever again. Whenever you stay here I want you to be with _me_ in our room. In fact, I would like you to think of it as our room on a more permanent basis."

I feel his body begin to relax.

"I would like that." He whispers. " But some things need to happen before we do that though. You know that right?"

I nod, refusing to let him go. "Yes I do. One of those things is for me to forgive myself for last night. I do Emmett, I forgive myself. I did not mean to hurt you, I would never intentionally hurt you baby. I am only human and sometimes we all make mistakes."

With a heavy sigh, I feel him completely relax in my arms. "Thank you. That is all I want. I was never mad at you to begin with. I honestly thought you were going to be mad at me for not using my safe word. But sometimes everyone needs someone to help them release the anger, hate, shame, and overall feeling of disgust. You have done that for me Edward, I just wanted to do that for you, even if it was only that one time. You have given me freedom from my personal hell. You need to learn to do the same," he says as he finally wraps his arms around me.

"Now. What do you say we go have some hot monkey sex? Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Leave it to Emmett to break the tension. I laugh with him. It does sound nice.

"Well sure. You know, while I was looking up the meaning to that Irish saying I came across a really interesting article about milking the prostate. I think we should try out the new techniques I have learned." I explain, giving him a crooked grin.

"Ugnh. That is so fucking hot." His answering smile makes my cock twitch.

"Come here," I growl, preparing to show him just how hot it actually is.

"Anything you want love," he grunts. It takes no time at all before my length is rock solid again. Grabbing his massive shaft, I decide to explain the process to him, stroking him in long strides.

"Oh fuck," he groans before I can even speak.

"The process of milking the prostate is not only healthy for you but extremely erotic when done with a partner." I feel Emmett's length grow as the words come out of my mouth. "It helps to keep the blood flowing in your penis as well as helps to release seminal fluids. Now there are two ways to actually milk your prostate. One way is to massage your perineum."

I show him what I am talking about by moving my hand down to the skin just under his scrotum but above his tight hole. Pressing gently but firmly with the tips of two fingers, I massage the area soliciting a loud groan from Emmett.

"Another way you can milk your prostate is to do it internally. But for that I need to go grab some lube. I want you to lie down on the bed while I run and get it."

I leave the room going into the one place I do not want to be right now. I slowly creep into the playroom, not really looking around at anything while I move to the chest of drawers. I pull out some warming gel, lube, a couple of condoms, and an anal stimulator. The stimulator is six inches long, black rubber with a slightly engorged tip. The base of toy is a little larger than the rest of it, ensuring the tight sphincter muscles don't suck it up inside of him. With the supplies in my arms I leave the room, remembering to lock it up tight. I never even look back to the offensive room.

I reenter the former sub room to find Emmett lying down on his side facing the door, lazily stroking himself._ That's so fucking hot._ He rolls to his back as I climb onto the bed, placing everything in my hands down by the end of the bed, before moving in between his legs. He's so fucking hot and he knows it. His grin tells me that he knows exactly the effect he has on me. _Wait until I get my hands on you baby, you won't be grinning for long._

"Okay let's go back to that lesson, shall we?" I restart the lesson by massaging his testicles, penis, perineum and the rest of the area around his anus with the warming oil. Once the area is well oiled, I then push his legs out further to separate his ass cheeks and massage with the warming oil from his anus to his testicles, pressing a little harder. Emmett groans loudly in pleasure.

Keeping up with the massage, I glide over the entrance to his anus, massaging and rubbing his tight, puckered skin. With my other hand, I spread a thick layer of lubricant onto the area spreading it all over with my fingertips. Taking my middle finger I slowly push the tip into his tight cavity, until I reach my first knuckle. I just barely enter him when I begin to search for the small gland, about the size of a walnut, feeling for it about an inch or two just inside his tight hole. Once I find the small gland I turn my hand around so the pad of my finger is pointing up to the base of his cock. I know I have found the correct spot when Emmett loudly moans out, arching his back in response. I slowly move my finger in and out, but never pulling all the way out. As I continue to move my finger all over the prostate, I find myself full of pride when Emmett lets out another long groan.

"Holy fuck baby. Please don't stop that feels so fucking good." He begs.

While still manipulating the small gland I make sure to grab his hard dick, holding him by the base and pulling upward. I want to make it more pleasurable for him, so I extract my finger and turn around to grab the anal stimulator. Squirting a large amount of lube onto the toy I place it at his entrance waiting for him to push against it. A few seconds later when he can no longer stay still he pushes his ass against the toy, trying to find a form of friction. Pushing the tip of the stimulator into him slowly, I wait for his body to get acclimated to the larger size of the toy. I feel his sphincter muscles relaxing as I push the black rubber toy farther into his tight hole. Feeling thankful that the toy also vibrates, I turn it on to a low setting just as I push it all the way in, grasping onto the large suction cup base.

"Does that feel good baby?"

"Ooohh...fucking...amazing," he pants. I chuckle quietly, concentrating on the slow in and out movements of my ministrations to his backside. Needing to give him an even more intense experience I grab his length again and begin stroking up and down, feeling the warming oil heat up in my palm.

"Baby I want to feel you in me, please?" he entreats me.

His moans are becoming louder and longer in intensity. He must be close to cumming. I remove my hand off of his shaft, grabbing behind me to pick up the condom. Ripping the foil in my teeth, I sheath it over my length quickly. After pouring a generous amount of lube onto my throbbing tip, I replace the toy with myself. Entering his tight ass is a feeling like nothing else in this world. I tease us a bit, entering just my tip, watching the tight darkness swallow my purple head. I look down with fascination as I push and pull my head out of him a few times, feeling strangely enigmatic. He will never know what my next move will be. Will I continue to give him just a taste or will I plunge deeper into his tightness?

Just as I am teasing him, I can feel my own need escalating in response. Damn I am not going to last long at all. If I didn't hold off the earlier orgasm, I would be able to do this for quite a while.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm not going to be able to hold on for long," I warn him.

"Oh thank God. This feels too fucking good to handle for long." His moans are drowning out any other sound the world may possibly be making.

_I can't tolerate any more teasing_, I think, plunging my shaft into his scorching hot darkness. Our moans echo off the walls. Alternating between slowly pulling my length out and then slamming back into him, the rungs of my piercing are rolling under my skin amplifying the intense sensations coursing through my groin. His muscles flex, tugging at me, calling my climax to the surface. _Not yet. Not yet._

I adjust my angle as I lean back ever so slightly till I feel the top of my swollen head rub against that newly discovered sweet spot inside my man. He is making some indiscernible noise, but his face tells me it is all good. That is when it happens. The 'walnut' swells and presses down on me. I am getting squeezed by the new pressure but I do not stop my pistoning action. This is what I have been aiming for. I wrap my fingers around him and stroke him long and hard as I rub against the engorged spot with my length.

Emmett reaches out to his sides and grips the sheets, tearing them from the bed as he screams out in ecstasy. I don't stop my motions as hot white cream erupts out of his penis. Over and over it keeps spurting.

"FUCK ME! I can't... stop...cumming!" he yells.

My body has been put through its trials today and can hold back no longer. I feel the tight coil inside me snap and finally...I let go. "Ohhhhhh God! Ahhhhhhhhh!"

My muscles quiver as I release everything; the regret, the sorrow, the self-hatred, and the love that I have held back for so long, it pours out of me. I can finally grant myself the forgiveness for my actions I look down to Emmett's adorning face, feeling the prickle of tears threatening to flow overboard. He is everything I could ever ask for and so much more. He makes me want to be a better person. The tears I am trying so profusely to hold back are now breaking over the edge, landing on his chest. He wipes away the fallen tears from my cheeks, giving me a moment of clarity. I need to be everything I can be for him. I give him a small self-conscious smile, letting him know I am fine.

The mess between us forgotten in that moment, as Emmett once again breaks the silence with his usual goofy antics.

"What the hell did you just do to me?" I laugh feeling lighter than I have ever felt before.

* * *

><p>After a shower and a long cuddle session in bed, we came outside to sit down on the plastic love seat to watch the dawn break over the distant mountains. I feel like a new man. I am unable to get last night off my mind. A night of raw skin and emotion that finally came to an unspoiled precipice of nothing more than gentle touches and sweet kisses; it has been the most intimate experience of my life. Watching the sky turn from shades of purple to blue while wrapped up in Emmett's arms is like nothing else in the world. There is nowhere else I would rather be. I want to take him somewhere special today. Do something for him that he has never done before.<p>

"Baby, what is something you have always wanted to do, but was never given the opportunity to do it?" I whisper to him, afraid that if I spoke too loudly it would ruin this serene moment.

He hesitates, but then answers. "It's stupid, but I have always wanted to go to the local carnival. With my parents always having so many kids in the house we never had a chance to do anything like that."

"Well then. I believe we have today's itinerary all set out for us."

"Really? Oh you don't have to do that for me," he murmurs, shyly.

I turn so I can look him in the eye, grabbing his face with my hands, "I want to do something for you. Not because I fucked up, not because I am feeling guilty. I want to do something for you, to show you just how much I love you Emmett," I proclaim.

"Thank you Edward," he breathes.

Nothing could bring me down from my cloud, except the ringing of my cell phone. I am tempted not to answer it. Damn, I haven't slept at all, maybe if I ignore the damn thing it will stop ringing.

_Ring, Ring, Ring_.

Then again, maybe not.

"Hello?"

"Where the fuck are you Edward? We have been calling you for the past hour bro. There is a huge lead on the Victoria case," answers Jasper, sounding a bit frantic.

"Well why the fuck are you calling me? Go call the cops."

"Edward, we are the cops." He snarks in reply.

"Nope. It's Saturday, I haven't been to bed yet. I don't become an agent again until Monday," I mumble, not wanting work to ruin my moment of bliss with Emmett.

"Eddie, listen to me, we have a solid lead. You need to get up. We need both you and Emmett to come down to the agency. I will come drag your asses down to the station if you don't get here soon." He says just before hanging up on me. _What the fuck_. There go my plans for today.

"Come on baby. It seems as though we are needed," I pat his leg as I stand up.

* * *

><p>A half hour later, after getting dressed we are finally ready to go. I hate rushing in the mornings, especially when this is supposed to be my day off. I wonder who the lead is. Is it someone we know? And why are we now just coming across this new information? I decided to allow Emmett to drive his new Jeep to try and get accustomed to the new truck. It was weird riding in this one, it doesn't smell like him, have any of his things in the back seat, we haven't fucked in this one...yet. There are so many things that make a car yours. I think today, after this meeting, that is exactly what we are going to do; we are going to break in the backseat as soon as we can.<p>

I can't keep my smile in as we pull up to the FBI building. As we get out of the vehicle I am hesitant to grab Emmett's hand. I know I want the world to see that he is mine now; however, at work might not be the best place to start doing it. Oh well, maybe I can take him somewhere today and I can find a way to do it there. I shake myself off these thoughts as we are coming out of the elevator reaching our unit's door. I pull open it open allowing Emmett to walk in front of me, only to halt in the doorway. The entire unit and all the head agents are cramped into our little office. Alice is sitting on a desktop surrounded by Jasper and Rosalie, bawling her eyes out. Why is she here? What the fuck is going on?

"Emmett, Edward." Jasper greets. As soon as he says my name Alice yells a garbled 'Edward' and runs for me, making Jasper give me an evil eye._ Hey man, it's not my fault that she runs for me._

"Oh Eddie, it's that stupid bitch Tanya! I just know it's her! Who else could it be," she cries, grabbing on to my tee shirt.

"Tanya? Why on earth do you think it's the blond bimbo?" Emmett asks incredulously.

"Well this is why you guys are here. Miss Denali's phone number was the last incoming call to Vicky's phone before she died, and there are strands of her hair left at the crime scene. It took us so long to figure out it could possibly be her because she goes by another name." Agent Swan explained.

_Denali._

_A fucking name I wish I never heard again._

_A name from my past._

_Denali._

_Irina Denali._

_Holy fuck. Tanya, the blond bimbo, is related to my ex-girlfriend?_

"What the fuck," I mumble. No, no this can't be right.

"Um, I have something to tell you guys."

* * *

><p>AN: Well aren't I an asshole, leaving it like that. Oh well, gotta keep you coming back for more. :) Let me know your thoughts on how things played out here by hitting that review button for me please!


	8. Chapter Eight: Intruders Lurking

A/N: Hello again. I want to thank you all for reading and reviewing. Each and every review means the world to me, so thank you for doing it. Alright let's jump right in this shall we? I have been told to post a towel warning...as in you make sure you have a towel ready and waiting for you. This is the longest chapter to date with just over 10k words! There is a lot going on in this one so make sure you pay attention...lol. Once again I need to thank my pretty betas! Nickeyd26 and Nocturnal Emissions if it weren't for you two this story would really suck. Speaking of them you can find their stories here on FF. Just go look up their profile names. Anyways, I'm done talking your ear off now, you can go read.

**_WARNING_**: If you are NOT able to vote, enlist in the military or buy some ol' porn then you need to leave now. I do not want to participate in the corruption of our world's youth.

***Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. As for me, I just make them do some crazy shit.***

* * *

><p><strong><em>RECAP FROM LAST CHAPTER:<em>**

_Denali._

_A fucking name I wish I never heard again._

_A name from my past._

_Denali._

_Irina Denali._

_Holy fuck. Tanya, the blond bimbo, is related to my ex-girlfriend?_

_"What the fuck," I mumble. No, no this can't be right._

_"Um, I have something to tell you guys."_

My declaration of needing to tell them something had silenced the room. _Oh shit_. I am not even sure what I want to tell them right now, especially seeing as how my newly acquired boyfriend is standing less than two feet from me. I have yet to tell him about Irina and my past. As I am searching for the words to explain, I don't realize a couple of minutes have passed in silence. I am pulled from my internal struggle by Alice's angered shout.

"Dammit Edward, just spit it out already!"

It is obvious to me that she is on edge right now, the pain of losing her sister must be overbearing. I pull her closer and kiss the top of her head before spilling my news.

"I know a woman with the last name Denali. Irina. I don't know if she and Tanya are related, but I dated her for a while. Things ended a few years ago. I don't ever recall a Tanya when we went to family functions." It felt like an eternity had passed before I was able to get it out.

"Come to think of it Eddie, I don't remember her either. I only know she was dating Vicky's ex-boyfriend James. I wonder if he could be the one who murdered my baby sister?" Alice sniffles.

"As of right now there are two agents going to her house to bring her in for questioning. We should have more answers in a few hours." says Carlisle.

I don't want to do it, but I know I have to make a really hard phone call right now. Let's just hope her number is still the same. I glance at Emmett as I pull my blackberry out of my pocket. He is staring at me with kind eyes, as he nods once in my direction. Grabbing Alice's hand, the two of them back away along with Jasper, leaving me alone to make my unwanted call.

After a few rings, an old familiar voice picks up. Hearing it brings back a flash of memories to the surface. I wonder why I didn't see the signs earlier that I was gay.

"Well, well, if it isn't FBI extraordinaire Agent Masen. It's been a long time Edward. How are you?" Irina answers, snippy as always._ You left me remember. You broke my heart. How do you get to be the asshole?_

"Hello Irina," I answer as I turn my back from the prying eyes, "I am fine thank you. However, this is not a social call. I need some information and I am hoping you can give it to me."

"Is this about that dead Brandon girl? If it is, you can go straight to hell. I am not telling you anything." Her voice has gone from cool indifference to Arctic in under thirty seconds.

"You do realize that by not telling me you are withholding information on a federal investigation," I sneer, getting agitated with her quickly. I am thankful now that this is the first time I have had to talk to her in two years.

"Fine. I will meet you for coffee in a half hour at Volterra Express," she snaps. Before I can even tell her no she hangs up, leaving me with a dial tone ringing loudly in my ear.

It is clear to me now that she knows something. Something that could bring this case to an abrupt conclusion. Even though it is the last thing I want to do, I know it would be pertinent to go see her.

Fuck me. This is not how I planned to spend my Saturday. After taking several deep breaths I slowly turn my body back around to face what I am sure is a mob of curious onlookers. Instead, I am faced with an empty room and nothing but silence. Where the hell did everyone go?

"They wanted to give you some space. Was it hard to hear her voice after all this time?"

I turn to my left to see Jasper leaning in a doorway, his hands in his pockets. He pushes himself off the molding and strides over to where I am standing.

"No. I'm not really sure how I feel about it just yet. The memories that came to mind when I heard her voice were all bad. Fighting, crying, her walking away, things like that. Not a single happy memory came through. Actually now that I think about it, there weren't very many happy times in the five years that I was with her." I shake my head. Was I that far in denial that I stayed in an unhappy relationship?

"So what did she say about Tanya?"

"Nothing actually. She wants to meet up me in a half hour to get coffee." I shrug.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but I would rather you not go alone. We don't know if this is a trap or something." Alice walks up to Jasper, taking his hand in hers. She looks so forlorn. As if he can sense her discomfort, Jasper wraps his arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side.

"I want her to talk to me, not run away. No, I think I need to go alone."

"No." Even though it is a monosyllabic word it still makes my heart flutter. Emmett walks up to our small gathering standing by my side.

"No. I am sorry to overstep boundaries right now, and make a scene here, but I can't let you go alone."

"I wasn't asking for your permission Emmett." I reply with disdain dripping like venom from my mouth. How dare he come and act like this with me, especially in front of Jasper and Alice?

"I know you weren't. I don't care either way. You shouldn't have to go through that alone," his voice indifferent. It's as if he is explaining what the weather will be like today.

I am shocked. I have never heard him be this outspoken before. I happen to find it incredibly sexy. A small shiver ripples through my body. I don't care if I am at my place of work or not, at this point I am ready to take that next step and show others how much I care. I move slightly closer to his warm body, bringing my hand up to softly caress his cheek with my thumb; the slight stubble rubbing along the pad of my finger. He takes my hand, bringing it down, to lace his fingers with mine.

_Holy shit with the emotional whiplash!_

"Okay then." I nod in agreement before turning my gaze towards the others. "The only person I will allow to go with me is Emmett. I want this quick and easy, so I can go and enjoy the rest of the day with my boyfriend."

_Please don't let this blow up in my face_. Bewilderment flashes on the faces of those around me for a brief second before Alice punches me on the arm, her voice rising in moderate excitement.

"It's about damn time you two. Once things settle back down, maybe we can go out and celebrate."

Jasper gives me a beseeching look before his gaze drifts back to the fragile woman who clearly holds his heart.

"After this whole mess is dealt with today, what are your guys' plans?"

"Actually I am taking Emmett to the carnival in town. He has never been to one, and I wanted to do something nice for him."

A moment later he turns back to me again, his eyes pleading for my understanding as he asks, "Do you think four would be a crowd? I think being with you two would do her some good and hopefully take her mind off of all this for a while."

I look over at Emmett wanting to know his thoughts on this. I didn't mind having them tag along with us, but this was for him. His answering grin reminds me of a young schoolboy getting his way. I nod to him silently, telling him I didn't mind.

"We'd love for you guys to join us tonight." he is barely able to contain his excitement.

Agent Swan walks up to our gathering just then, taking in the sight of me holding Emmett's hand. I guess we will find out just how uncomfortable work will be from now on.

"You may take your meeting Edward, without any other interference for now. No tapes, no wires, no back-up, besides Agent McCarty." She jabs her thumb in the direction of Emmett. "But I need you to promise me that if you find anything out you will call me immediately. Two agents will be on stand-by awaiting any kind of confirmation about Tanya. "

"Yeah, I promise. Now I am going to go. If I find anything out I will call you. Jazz, I will call you after this meeting, after we catch a couple of z's of course."

"That sounds great. Call me when you guys are ready to go tonight." I nod as I turn to leave, walking back down to the elevator.

I am so nervous. Nervous about this meeting with Irina, nervous about Emmett going with me. I am even nervous about walking back out to the car with Em. I just want to keep his hand in mine, you know stake a claim. Should I just do it? Dude, you are such a pussy. Just keep his hand in yours and get on with it. The inner ramblings going on inside my head are interrupted by a small nip to the ear lobe, with a breathy whisper in my ear.

"Would it be okay with you if I didn't let go of your hand right now?"

Damn, my man always knows what I need. I guess it is true, it's not just the Dom that can sense what his sub needs, it seems that it's the same for the sub about the Dom.

"I'm not going to lie, I am nervous about it, but I would like that baby." He smiles at me and squeezes my hand as we enter the elevator. This moment is an awakening that marks the beginning of the end. I never want to be with another person again. Emmett is my everything, my life, my world.

* * *

><p>As we pull up to the small coffee shop, I look around letting the memories seep back into my mind. Irina and I used to come here every Saturday morning for large blueberry muffins and caramel macchiatos. The old train dinner car is now placed in the middle of town, disguised as a 50's diner. The only difference is Volterra Express doesn't serve anything but breakfast foods, all day long. My eyes flow along the dark and light blues of the outside to come to a bright red padded door.<p>

_Oh man I forgot how much I love this place._

My nausea picks up tenfold as I walk through the front door, getting assaulted with the warm smells of fresh coffee and danishes. We place our orders and head to the back of the diner grabbing an oversized red leather booth.

"Wow. This place is amazing. Have you ever been here before baby?" Emmett says appreciatively, taking in the eclectic view of posters, old photos, and model airplanes.

"Yeah I used to come here on Saturdays. This place, oh man, this place used to feel like a home away from home."

"Did you come here with her?" He whispers, looking down at his ice cold frosted mocha cappuccino and his strawberry danish.

I let out a hushed sigh, barely able to nod my head in confirmation.

"I did. I stopped coming here the morning after she left me. I guess there is something I need to tell you. You remember that first night at the bar? Yeah, well just before I saw you, she ended up leaving me for some sick, pale looking dude. I later found out his name was Jimmy, but whatever, the point is I went from being with her to the arrangement with you. I need you to know you were never a rebound. I felt something for you the moment I sat down next to you at the bar. You mean everything to me."

"I should be honest with you as well. I knew about Irina. I have known about her since that night at the bar. I never said anything because I felt it wasn't my place."

I tuck him into my side, draping my arm over his shoulders, pulling him close to me. I plant a soft kiss on his temple.

"Thank you for being you. Most people would have shoved that shit in my face."

"Aah, but I am not most people. I thought you knew that by now," he jokes.

Our conversation flows easily after that. Our laughter carries out in a soft melody, caressing those that walk past us. Gentle touches and soft kisses are given every so often. The awaited half hour had come and gone, Irina never showing up for our meeting. It wasn't until two hours after our arrival we notice the time.

"I don't think she is coming babe," he says.

"Yeah I don't think so either. Let me try calling her."

I pull out my phone, dialing the last number called, feeling anxious. Something is not right; someone is holding shit back. The call immediately goes to voicemail. Dammit, this isn't right. What the hell is going on? Now I am certain Irina knows what's up. I snap my phone shut and look at Emmett.

"Voicemail. Let me call Bella and then we can go to back to bed for a few hours...I hope."

He nods his head as I speed dial Bella. After two short rings she answers.

"Edward, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"We are fine. The bitch didn't even show up. How's the search for Tanya coming?"

"Huh. Well I'm not sure. They keep losing her. Edward I need to go. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I will see you back here tomorrow." She hangs up, sounding dejected. Why do I suddenly feel like I'm out of the loop and I am the one being protected? I shake my head at the odd feeling and once again snap the phone closed. _Wait, what the fuck?_ Tomorrow is Sunday. Why the fuck did she say she would see me tomorrow?

"Okay, well that didn't help me any. Let's go baby. I am suddenly feeling very tired."

I feel as though our bubble of bliss that we shared today is now shattered and broken.

* * *

><p>The ride home is filled with peaceful silence, a shadow of our time spent at the diner. We listen to our favorite band, Staind, while my hand never leaves his leg. The closer I drive towards home, the more nauseous I become.<p>

Trepidation fills my senses as I pull into my long driveway. Shutting off the engine, I notice my front door is slightly open. Nothing else seems to be out of place, from the outside at least. Emmett and I share a quick look as we both move towards the door. Instinctively my hand goes to my hip, reaching for my gun.

My gun is not there.

Dammit, I forgot. I left it in the safe this morning in my rush to leave for the agency. I turn to tell Emmett I don't have a gun when he gently pushes me behind him. His gun is ready, locked and loaded.

Normally, this gesture would have pissed me off, but there is something oddly comforting about him standing in front of me like that.

_My protector._

My only thought right now is where the hell did the gun come from? He glances at me quickly as if he can hear my silent question.

"I grabbed my spare gun out of my desk drawer before we left. I don't know why I grabbed it, I just knew I needed to have it with me," he whispers; shrugging his shoulders at his admission.

It takes me a minute to come to terms with this news. Well at least one of us was prepared. We silently make our way up to the house, hiding behind anything that will hide our large statures.

As soon as Emmett nears the front door, he is no longer a gentle man...a submissive. He is a warrior... brutal...and able to snap at a moment's notice.

The adrenaline rushing through my bloodstream is intoxicating; nothing can fuck with me right now.

I want to beat the shit out of whoever is in my home. It makes me want to race in there and do real damage. However, the procession throughout the main floor is a slow one.

We are constantly on edge.

One by one, we clear each room, making sure there is no one in there and everything is still in place.

We leave door after door open after clearing the room.

The silence echoes eerily.

The only thing that can be heard is my heartbeat pulsing loudly. I feel like it is going to beat right out of my chest.

The possibility of someone hiding upstairs is highly unlikely. I don't understand what they wanted. Nothing is taken and nothing is out of place. Even the front door was broken into by what looks to be a professional.

With Emmett still in front of me, we slowly ascend the stairs, moving to clear the upper floor.

He knows which stairs will creak the most from years of overuse, a sign he knows my house very well, he bypasses them easily.

The moment we hit the top of the stairs my world changes.

The door to our bedroom is off the hinges and lying on its side, wedged in between the banister and the wall. A trail of shirts and pants are strewn all across the hallway, and feathers are floating everywhere.

At a menacingly slow pace, Emmett creeps toward the door, stopping just short of it.

One peek, he looks into the room, his gun pointed in the air, his finger on the trigger, ready to shoot.

Another peek, he moves the tip of the gun into the room, as he slides his body lithely into the open area. He is a big man by any standards, but he moves like a jungle cat.

For what seems like an eternity, I wait in silence, fear clinging to me like chains. Trapping me in this spot.

I can't move.

I can't see if he is okay.

Why hasn't he spoken yet?

I can't hear a sound.

I am frozen by this fear.

I should be the one in there. I don't know what I would do if my bear was ever hurt.

Finally, I hear him call out; my body is no longer caged by its emotions.

"All clear," he says; still in agent mode.

As I round the door to enter the room my nose is assaulted with the overbearing smell of my favorite cologne, Drakkar Noir. I hold my breath as I take in the sight before me. The room is atrocious, every last surface is destroyed. A tornado ripping through here would not have caused this much damage.

Every single article of clothing that is Emmett's is ripped and thrown around the room.

_What the fuck is going on?_

The only room in the house that is fucked up is my bedroom?

Feathers are still floating in the air from my bedding.

My large mirror that sits on my dresser is shattered into an intricate spider web design.

There is a message on the mirror in a blood like substance that is clearly read despite the thousands of cracks;

_'I'M WATCHING YOU. SOONER OR LATER THAT ASS IS MINE.'_

Dresser drawers are completely open and some have even fallen to the floor. My clothes are completely gone. Not one piece left in my drawers. I jog to the closet, ripping the door open, completely empty.

_Where the fuck are my clothes? _

_Seriously, who the fuck takes dirty clothes?_

"What the fuck is going on Edward?"

"I don't know Em, I have no idea," I whisper to him. My heart is racing a mile a minute still. Are we purposely being targeted? The nausea I was feeling earlier is slowly making itself known again.

"Should we do a thorough sweep of the room and check for shit that's missing?"

"Sounds like a plan. Make sure you check every last fucking crevice."

I feel as though I have entered into a world that has no end as I search through the devastation. Okay so the shock of today has made me a bit melodramatic. It was only a half hour later that we found ourselves regrouping in the middle of the room, plopping down on the large bed. We found quite a few things missing besides all of my clothes.

One of my pillows went missing, my bottle of cologne was now smashed all over the floor, and anything that had to do with Emmett and I as a couple is also gone. Every picture has been taken, including a large photo album that is filled with scenes from my playroom. If that fell into the wrong hands it could be disastrous for us. I lean against his muscular chest needing to feel his warmth as I decide what I am going to do next.

"I guess it's a good thing I have a few suits at the dry cleaners right now. Please tell me you still have some clothes at the apartment, that not all of your clothes were lost."

He nods at me, quickly dispelling my fears. "Yes I have some clothes at my place. Edward, what are you going to do? Your house was broken into... your bedroom is destroyed. Someone is out to hurt you, or me, probably both for that matter."

"I don't honestly know," I murmur just as my stomach rolls, nausea spreading like wildfire.

"Would you be mad if I asked you to come stay at my place until you decide later what to do?"

I think for a moment, letting his offer sink in. At least if I am at his place then I can keep an eye on him in that shitty neighborhood. However, I really wish I could just leave this all behind and go move in somewhere else with him. A place of our very own. I look in his eyes searching for an inclination that this is something he doesn't really want. Something that he is only doing for me. I see nothing in his eyes but honesty, love and a bit of anxiety. Is he afraid I will say no? It's his anxiety that has me saying yes.

"No baby, I would not be mad at you. If you really want to share your home with me then I would be honored to stay with you."

After throwing out some things that could spoil like the milk, I lock my house up tight and we head out to Emmett's apartment across town. My body is on edge the entire ride. I am really hoping that Emmett's apartment is not destroyed.

* * *

><p>We reach our destination; the tension is permeating the air around us in thick, heavy waves. With one last glance at each other we exit the car, looking around for any sign of a threat. Nothing seems out of place as we enter into the apartment building. My nausea rolls through me once again, as I take one last look outside. It shocks me to see a figure standing in the shadows across the street. Whoever it is is so deep in the shadows it is hard to see the person even at three o'clock in the afternoon. I squint my eyes at the figure hoping to make out some features, when suddenly the body turns and runs in the opposite direction from me. I don't realize I am holding my breath until the figure is completely out of my line of sight. I am seriously hoping that was a drug dealer or something. A shiver runs down my back as I enter into the apartment. I think we need to move and soon. Right now the only thing that is going to make me feel better is lying down with my love.<p>

After waking up from our small rest and taking quick showers, we are back out the door four hours later. The two of us are dressed in clothes that Emmett had at his place. We are both in soft blue jeans with rips all over, concert tee shirts and black leather jackets. I am surprised to find out his clothes aren't really that big on me. I didn't even need a belt to hold my pants up. It seems silly to be wearing the same kind of outfits but that's all we had to wear. Just as we pull up to the local carnival my phone goes off signaling a text from Jasper.

_~E~_

_Thanks for letting us tag along tonight. I have a huge surprise for my Alleycat and I think this is the best place to do it. We are waiting for you guys at the North Entrance. See you all soon._

_~J~_

Oh, this night just got a bit more interesting. Getting out of the Aston Martin, I am suddenly extremely nervous. I don't know how to act normal with Emmett. I mean, it's not like I can go out in public with Emmett dressed up in his collars, attached to a leash, wearing nothing but a pair of leather pants. Vanilla relationships aren't something I have done in a very long time. What the hell do I do? How can I make this day special for him? I want to be romantic, and sweet, but I don't know how to be that guy. I know whips, chains, and leather. Can I really just change who I am?

I have decided I am just going to go with the flow tonight, step outside of my comfort zone and be the best boyfriend I can be. With that mindset in place I grab Emmett's hand and walk towards the entrance. I welcome the small current that runs under my skin, trailing through my blood with vigor. The feeling of it causes my dick to twitch. My dick twitches again at the thought of making Emmett happy with something as trivial as a family outing. He really is my family now. I would give anything to make that permanent. My mindless wandering is halted by the sight of Jasper and Alice waiting for us. A night out with friends is just what we need after a day like today.

"Hey y'all. How ya doin' tonight?" Jasper drawls, tipping down his black cowboy hat, his arm wrapped around Alice protectively.

"Hey guys," she greets us. She still doesn't seem to be her normal giddy self. Maybe this will help her to be at least a smidgen better.

"Hey you two. Are you ready to have some fun? Eddie is unleashing the child in me by bringing me here! I can't wait to see what there is to do. I am starving," Emmett turns to me, "can we go get some food please?"

"Yeah of course. Let's go see what this place has and feed my hungry bear."

We all chuckle as we begin the first round of just walking around, taking in the multiple vendors. After we eat some Italian sausage, Jasper and I sit down to watch the other two play a dart game, you know the one where you have to hit the balloons with the darts. It turns out the both of them are really good at this game. As they play a new round of darts, Jasper turns to me trying to talk over the sound of balloons popping.

"So I gotta ask, is there a reason why you two decided to wear similar outfits?"

"Ha, yeah we wouldn't be dressed the same if someone didn't take all my clothes when they broke into my house."

"Holy shit are you serious? What else was taken?"

"Nothing really. Just my pillow and some photographs," I answer evasively, because I am a bit worried about trying to explain my scrapbook." That's what makes this so fucking weird. The only room in the house that was destroyed is my bedroom." I frown, thinking of the mess that is still occupying my room.

"That sounds like a personal attack on you. Have you told Bella about it yet?"

I shake my head at him. "No. I am going to tell her about it tomorrow morning. I just wanted to be done with it today."

Our conversation is interrupted by a very giddy Alice and Emmett, who is holding two very large stuffed animals. One is a large teddy bear with a blue bow around its neck and the other is a large pug looking dog with its tongue sticking out. Poor Alice is also holding a large stuffed animal, though hers is a bunny and it's hot pink. The ugly thing is almost as big as she is. She is also holding a few medium sized SpongeBob's.

"Alleycat, it looks like that bunny is going to swallow you whole," I joke.

She sticks her tongue out at me, as Jasper bellows out a laugh. The two 'kids' in our group move us along to a few more games, each time laughter rings out from our small intimate group. I'm glad the two of them are having a great time. Just as those two are having fun, Jasper becomes increasingly more quiet and withdrawn. By the time we get to the water pistol game he won't even look up from the ground, not uttering a single word.

"What the hell is wrong Jazz? You alright?"

"Uhh...yeah...I...uuh...no man, I'm not okay. See the reason why I wanted to come out here with y'all tonight is to propose to Alice. I just don't know how to do it. I am really fucking nervous dude. What if she says no? What if she hates what I had planned?" He whispers to me, his head dropping even lower.

"Look at me Jasper. I know she will say yes for one. And for two, this is the perfect place to propose to her. She is so carefree and childlike at times, this will be perfect."

His icy blue eyes are staring my green eyes down with a vengeance. I know he is looking for an unspoken truth in my eyes; however, he won't find anything but pure honesty. He is one of my best friends. I would never lie to him.

"I was planning on asking her to marry me while we ride the Ferris Wheel but that seems really cheesy."

"Actually I think that is perfect for her. It's either that or in the Haunted House."

"Can you imagine the look on Alley's face if I ask her to go into the Haunted House? Have you lost your mind? She would have my nuts served on a platter. You know she scares easily." He laughs so hard he has to bend over and hold his stomach.

"I know, but don't you think you could use that to your advantage?"

He stops laughing, quickly straightening out his torso to stare at me incredulously.

"What do you mean?"

"Okay, so imagine walking through the haunted house and she becomes more and more scared. She eventually grabs onto you unable to brave it any longer. Then, when the moment is right you tell her, 'I know there will be times in your life where you are incredibly scared, scared to be alone, or even scared to venture out past your comfort zone. There will always be reasons to be scared. Well Alley, I need to tell you that you will never have to be scared and alone like that ever again. I will be here to hold you when something frightens you, and be there when you are nervous about trying new things. I want to marry you, blah, blah, blah. You know the rest."

I give a wave of the hand, like I don't care about what I am saying. Even though honestly, I would give my left leg to be able to marry Emmett. I watch him and Alice talking to a group of small children handing out extra stuffed animals to them. It's a good thing too. I don't know how we would have been able to carry all of them all night.

"Oh wow. You're good. I will give you that much. Speaking of proposals, have you ever thought about asking Emmett."

"Yeah...I guess. I just don't think it's something that we can do. You know with our sexuality and all."

"Seriously? Are you really thinking that, or are you just scared of what people will think?"

I think about it for a short while as we are joined again by our loves. It doesn't surprise me to see Emmett shoveling a blooming onion into his mouth. Am I really just scared about what people will think? Since when do I give a fuck about what others think? We haven't really had a chance to have a real relationship together, yet all I can think about is spending the rest of my life with him.

Once the spicy, fried concoction is gone, I grab the large bear from Emmett, and reach out to grab his free hand. Fuck it. If this offends someone then it's their problem. I am coming to find out I really don't care what people think of our relationship. I know I am in love with the human teddy bear and I want to show the world that he is mine. Alice turns to look at all of us.

"Is it possible we can go ride some rides now? I know that's a childish thing to do but it's the only thing on my mind right now." she asks.

A large smile creeps across my face. I probably look like the cartoon Grinch as he is thinking about stealing Christmas, the way my mouth moves.

"I think that is a perfect idea. Who wants to go on the Ferris Wheel?" I try to hide my amusement as I feel a sharp pain in my shoulder. Jasper had just punched me in the arm, the fucker. I laugh quietly; glad to see I can make him uncomfortable. This is kinda fun.

"No you can't start off with a slow ride." Alice shakes her head at my suggestion.

"Yeah that is so boring. What are you, Eighty?" Emmett teases as he squeezes my hand.

"Oh yeah? Eighty huh?"

I really hope he doesn't think I am an old fart. Trust me baby, I can and will rock your world. Something no eighty year old could ever do.

"I'll find somewhere to take that tight ass of yours while we are here, just you wait," I whisper. As I lightly pull on his hand bringing him closer to me, I place a kiss on the corner of his mouth, only to be interrupted by a loud and disgusted exposition.

"Oh man. That's fucking nasty. Fucking queerbags."

All four of us turn to see a young teen who is wearing all black, his face covered in black make-up. His blond hair is dyed with red and green streaks.

"Hey asshole. Who are you to fucking judge? You are the lowest scum on earth for voicing your fucking opinion. We don't voice ours about your damn devil worshipping bullshit. You are a fucking bigot and deserve to get fucked in the ass by the devil himself." Alice sneers.

Her face is bright red with anger, finger pointing in the dude's face. If it wasn't for Jasper holding her by the waist, I'm sure she would have punched him in the eye. Emmett tries to pull his hand away from me as she is yelling at the idiot. I shake my head at him, grabbing his hand tighter than before.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Doesn't that bother you?" His voice sounds like that of a small child.

"Fuck no. Makes me want you right here in the middle of everyone, and watch them all get hard as I take your ass. I know they want to watch me squirt my cum into you."

"Umm, Eddie? That was really graphic." Jasper groans.

"Jazzy, I have fucked your ass many times. You don't have to be gay to like the feeling of it." Alice states. How can she act as if that was nothing more than normal conversation? The ignorant teens are now long since forgotten. Our random exchange made sure of that.

"Hey, having your prostate milked is very healthy for you. Don't judge." He laughs.

"That's my point there is no reason for anyone to judge another person."

"Okay, I don't think this is appropriate carnival talk. There are children everywhere." Emmett snickers.

We all laugh, enjoying the carefree fun we are having with each other. I am glad I have them as my friends. Who else can you joke around with about being gay? When we enter into the area that holds the rides the sun is just beginning to set. The sky is filled with a beautiful array of oranges, purples, and reds with pockets of pale yellows. In my opinion this would be the best time for Jasper to propose to Alice. I am just about to tell him exactly that when Emmett speaks.

"Okay, I take back what I said. I would like to go on the Ferris Wheel now please." He looks at all of us for confirmation.

_Here's your chance Jazz. Take her on the ride._

I look over at Jasper staring at Alice; indecision is clear on his face. I can see the moment he decides. He nods at her, smiling shyly.

"I think that would be wonderful. Come on, let's go get in line." He pulls her towards the short line, as Emmett and I follow them, wrapped up in our own little bubble.

"It's so beautiful. Looks like a painting." He says, pulling out his phone to capture the beauty.

It's about to become more than just a pretty picture. This would make an excellent wedding gift.

"It's breathtaking," I agree.

We start walking towards the other two as I pull his hand back into my own, not wanting a moment to go by where he is not right there with me. I think I will most definitely be thinking more later on the proposal idea. The conversation between the four of us is easy and full of playful banter. I really hope that Alice says yes or I'm going to feel like an asshole. I am hoping to catch a glimpse of them when he proposes so I let them go ahead of us, clearly not thinking it all the way through. Just as Emmett sits down on the red fiberglass seat, I lean over to the carny attendant and slip him a hundred dollars as I tell him my request.

"The two people ahead of me are about to get engaged. Can you do me a favor and stop them at the very top for a minute or two, please?"

The attendant seems like he is bored out of his mind but nods his head at me, stuffing the money into his pocket. I climb onto the seat next to Emmett, wrapping my arm around his shoulders.

"What the hell is that about baby? Did you pay him to make sure we don't crash?"

"Nah, just helping Jasper with his proposal," I grin at him.

"Holy shit! No fucking way! No wonder you guys wanted to do this ride first."

I laugh as the wheel starts to move. I hate heights but being up here with him doesn't seem so bad. My views on the world seem to be changing quickly. I can only thank Emmett for that one. He lights up my once darkened sky with bright, vivid colors. I just hope that he wants to spend his life with me. I look over at him as I am deep in thought, drinking in his features. The ride goes around a few times before it stops at the top. Emmett and I look over at each other, the both of us holding our breaths, waiting for the shrill scream.

_Show time._

The ear-deafening scream signals the proposal has indeed taken place.

_And there it is._

"EEEKKKKK! Are you fucking kidding me Jasper Alan Whitlock?"

Emmett and I laugh at the shrill sound of Alice cursing. I don't hear Jasper's response but I can tell by the 'Oh my God's and I love you's that he must have answered her. I take a deep breath, extremely happy that this worked out so perfectly for them. The ride lasts for a few more minutes before taking us back down to reality. The newly engaged couple is waiting for us just outside the gates. A happily crying Alice shouts to us as we approach them.

"Boys! I am getting married!"

"Congratulations!" A loud chorus sings out, from the surrounding crowd, people still waiting in line and the by-passers all clapping at the news.

"Thank you." Alice calls back. I am so glad that today had taken better turn and not gotten any worse.

"Eddie you have to be my maid of honor please! Okay well not my maid, I mean I won't make you wear a dress or anything. Oh wait, I mean you can if you want to. Oh I need to call Rosalie," she rambles, as we go to stand in front of another ride.

"Baby can it wait? I'm sure Emmett would like to ride some more rides."

She stops her quiet rambling, as she pulls on Emmett's jacket.

"Come on, you big ol' teddy bear. We need to go celebrate by puking our guts out on this here Gravitron. You guys coming?"

"Um... no thanks I have to hold the stuffed animals," I exclaim. I hate that damn ride.

"No thanks sweetie. I will stay out here, you know, keep Edward company."

"You guys are just a bunch of pansies," teases Emmett.

We make our way over to a table to sit down and wait for our mates to come out.

"Hey congrats man. I am really happy for you guys."

"I thought my ear drums were going to burst when she said yes."

"I think the whole park heard her."

He laughs, shaking his head in humor. As I lean back against the table, I finally decide to answer his earlier question.

"Both."

"Huh?"

"Earlier you asked me if I was just scared or if I didn't think we could get married. My answer to that is both. I could give two shits about what the outside world thinks but I need for my close family and friends to accept us. I will admit, I am scared that society will look down on us for wanting to be married. I know it's dumb because we are the same sex but nothing would make me happier to tie Emmett to me in all ways."

"It's not dumb Edward. It's great that you want that with him. Would you do just a normal wedding or would you do a collaring ceremony at the same time?"

How the hell does he know about collaring ceremonies? Fuck. Now what? My anxiety must have been plastered to my face because he shrugs at me, answering my unspoken question.

"Edward, you and Em are my closest friends. I wanted to know more about your lifestyle, I wanted to show you that I support you by finding out as much about it as the internet would give me."

"Huh. Well thank you for supporting us. It wasn't easy to have to hide it from you guys. I am glad that you didn't run for the hills."

"I will admit, it intrigues me, but it's not something I would like to try out. Besides if I did try it, I would end up in Emmett's position. Alice tops me all the damn time."

I shake my head at the absurdity of the little pixie dominating Jazz. A small laugh escapes my lips.

"I would pay to see that actually." I snort, just as Emmett and Alice find their way back to us. Emmett looks a little green in the face.

"What would you pay to see?" Alice asks, sitting down on Jasper's leg.

"Nothing," we both cry out.

"Okay...well anyways I am hungry. Let's go find something to eat please." he says, clearly unaffected by the ride, even though he still looks a little pale.

We all laugh at his fondness for food. That man is a damn human garbage disposal. Thank God he works out every day. We walk around a bit more before we finally decide to call it a night. I think Emmett was getting tired of walking around with an armful of crap. He managed to hold on to the large stuffed dog and bear, a goldfish in a bag, a large Strawberry Daiquiri fashion cup, two posters, and a bag full of concert tee's, along with five bags of cotton candy and two caramel apples. The night had been amazing, spending it with our best friends. I had almost forgotten about my house being destroyed until my car came into view.

_'One Girl. Two Names.'_

The message is scribbled on my windshield in big black letters. _What the fuck does that mean_?

"Anyone have a clue as to what that means?" Jasper asks, walking up to my car. He runs his finger through the marker, the lettering smudges a little.

"It's fresh."

"I have no idea, but let's get that off there before it won't come off," Emmett suggests.

"Wait, wait. Take a picture of it. You know for evidence and shit," I hear someone say.

Staring at my most favored vehicle, my stomach rolls with pure panic, bile rising quickly. What the hell is with my stomach and times like this? Could it mean that there is danger near? I wonder if that Tanya girl is around me somewhere? It seemed to have happen whenever she was near me.

After cleaning the marker off the glass, we say our goodbyes. We all promised to look into this tomorrow morning when we had more time to think about it.

My mind wanders on the trip back to the apartment; the thoughts creeping around in there are making my dick twitch. I can't stop picturing Emmett covered in cotton candy, spread eagle on the bed, waiting for me to lick him clean.

_Oh, I know what I am doing tonight_. I think to myself as we pull up in front of the complex. It's going to be a fun night! I barely turn off the engine before I am opening my door, racing around to grab up Emmett and his newly acquired collection.

"What's the hurry baby? I know when I get inside I want to eat some fluffy cotton candy," he chuckles.

"I have a different idea," I turn my head around to look him straight in the eye, "And it involves that cotton candy."

"Fuck me."

"Oh I plan on it."

Suddenly, Emmett is pushing me faster down the sidewalk until we are both in a flat out jog. We are giggling like two teenage girls as he tries repeatedly to unlock the door.

"Come on dammit. Fucking open the fucking door. Fuuuccckk."

"Wait a second. Calm down for two and unlock that friggin' door before I take you right here."

He spins around, pointing the key at me.

"That is not fucking helping Edward."

I bellow out a laugh at him, taking his keys in my hand. It even takes me a few tries before I get it to work. I grab his hand from behind me as I throw open the door. Before we can even make it all the way into the living room Emmett drops his stuff on the floor, giving our hands allowance to grab at each other's jackets, ripping them off of our bodies. Our lips meet in a passionate frenzy, mashing together in heated lust. My cock is now fully erect, trying futilely to seek Emmett out. I move my body closer to his, needing to feel his pants rub against mine. My hardened length meets his as soon as our lower bodies make contact. The feeling of him, rubbing his dick along mine, is exquisite._ More, I need more_. I practically shred his shirt as I pull it from his body. The moment his pierced nipple makes an appearance in front of me, I hungrily suck it into my mouth, running my tongue along the erect nub, pulling the steel gently into my mouth, causing a low moan to escape from his mouth. His hands are desperately grabbing the hem of my shirt in attempt to pull it over my head. I stop nibbling on him to allow for the shirt to come off. Grabbing the back of his neck I pull his mouth to mine, running the tip of my tongue along his lower lip. Just then I suck it into my mouth, nipping the soft skin with my teeth. After a guttural moan from him, I loosen my grip on his lip letting it pop out of my mouth before I trace all around his full mouth with my tongue.

Moving my mouth away just a fraction, I order him, "Give me a bag of that cotton candy."

He bends down to pick up a bag of pink colored fluff. _Oh, strawberry_. His eyebrow is arched at me as he hands me the bag, clearly confused as to what I have planned. I rip it open enthusiastically, pinching a bit of the flavored sugar between my fingertips. I stick it in my mouth, feeling it melt against my tongue. I smile at him. This is going to be so fucking hot. Reaching down into the bag I grasp another pinch and bring it up to his lips.

"Open your mouth. Let me see that tongue. Do not close your mouth." I demand, as I set the candy onto his tongue watching it start to dissipate. My dick twitches again. A third pinch is again put on his tongue. This time I lean forward swiping my tongue against his, collecting the sugary crystals. Oh so good.

"You can close your mouth now. Remove your remaining clothes and go lay down on the couch." I watch him quickly shed himself of the fabrics, running to plop himself down on the couch. With a wicked grin on my face I saunter over to him, pulling up a large chunk of the candy. I kneel next to the couch, laving his nipple before placing the sweet fluff onto it.

"Don't move."

I wait two seconds before sucking the candy and his nipple into my mouth, twirling my tongue around the sweetened skin. I have never loved strawberry flavored candy more than I do right now. Even after the sugar is gone I keep licking, nipping, and sucking on his flesh. His head is arched back, mouth opened to form a silent "o". I grab yet another chunk of the fluffy junk food and lick the edges of it, before I rub it down the center of Emmett's abdomen. The wetness from my mouth has begun to melt the crystals, making it easy to coat the sugar all over his stomach. Using just the tip of my tongue I take small, shallow licks, the wetness making his flesh a sticky mess.

"Holy...shit...that...feels...good," he pants. He grabs my wrist, stopping me from taking any more of the sugar.

"Let me show you how that feels."

He pushes me down to the floor, straddling my hips.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you, eating too much of this shit will cause cavities?"

I laugh as my back hits the icy hardwood floor. His balls are leaning against my now very hard shaft. Each time he leans down the soft skin caresses my length. He pulls my chin down opening my mouth roughly, sticking a small amount of candy into my mouth. Keeping his hand on my chin he dips his tongue into my mouth tasting me covered in sugar. I close my eyes at the contact. The small crystals feel like tiny, sugary grains of sand, slipping around the surface. He closes his lips around mine, pulling my mouth shut a little. A deep and passionate kiss is exchanged, the cotton candy momentarily forgotten. Moments later he pulls up from my mouth to stick another pinch of sugar into his mouth. As he goes to stick another pinch in, he points to my pants, moving off of my legs.

"Take 'em off'." he grunts.

I quickly shed myself of the pants, boxers and socks. I mean, come on let's face it, who wants to fuck with their socks still on? Such a tacky move. I grin at my stupidity as he lowers himself back over my legs. Bending down he flattens his tongue along my abs, spreading the strawberry liquid over my heated flesh. The gritty wetness is sticky in seconds, but oh...so...sexy. My body shivers as he runs his tongue back up the same path he just made, making sure to collect all the sugar he left there. My hips thrust eagerly into his ass, needing friction.

"More...please...damn...please." I am reduced to half sentences and barely articulated words. The pleasure running through me is inescapable. My man knows how to use his tongue. He has been sticking the junk into his mouth every so often as he licks and sucks different areas of my stomach and hips. Every once in while he will go just to the side of my swollen head, teasing me. My hips buck into his face, slapping him lightly in the cheek or chin.

"Fuck baby, suck me please. Wrap that hot mouth around my cock please." I beg.

He chuckles as he slides down my legs until his mouth is hanging over just the tip of my purple head. The hot air coming out of his mouth sends a bead of precum seeping out. He places a small chunk of the candy on my head and sucks up the now salty and sweet concoction. I moan loudly, arching my back off the hard floor. He grins as he slips my shaft into his mouth, his tongue flattening out along the rungs of my piercing. He sucks me down until his nose hits my pubic bone. The tip of his tongue flicks across the top of my scrotum. Fuck, I almost cum right there. He swallows once around my shaft before pulling up, sucking hard on my sticky length. As he rounds my purple tip he swirls his tongue up and over the small slit, licking up the seeping clear liquid. His tongue runs along under the crease of my head, straight pleasure rocketing through my body. Fuck I am not going to last long if I don't stop him now.

"Stop baby. I need a minute please. Do you have lube and condoms here?"

He nods standing up, grabbing my hand to pull me up with him. He leads me down to his bedroom which is thankfully only a short walk away from the living room. He pulls me into his small bedroom. The overall color scheme in the room is baby blue. My cock reaches full mast as I breathe in Emmett's cologne.

"I love your smell. I know that sounds creepy, but I can't help it," I murmur to him. He smirks at me while climbing onto the full-sized bed.

"That is not creepy. That's fucking awesome."

I laugh as I move into bed next to him. As I move up the length of his body I strategically place kisses along the way. I kiss his inner ankles, moving up to the underside of his knees; I run my tongue along his inner thighs, ghosting over his groin, making sure to lightly nibble on each hip. I make a slight adjustment backwards to kiss the very tip of his purple head, before I move to his stomach. I look up at him through my heavy lidded eyes to see him propped up on his elbows looking down at me.

"You are fucking beautiful when you move your mouth on my body," he moans. I give him the best crooked grin I can manage as I lick both nipples before coming to his neck. The vein in his thick neck is pounding profusely as I glide my tongue along his collar bone, taking small nips at his muscular neck, biting and sucking at the protruding vein. A series of low moans sends my hips rocking against his, leaving spots of my precum on Emmett's stomach. I trace along his sculpted jaw following the path until I reach his ear. My whisper in his ear sounds sultry and hungry.

"I want to fuck that ass of yours baby. Let me take you. Move to your side and push that luscious ass against me."

He groans as he does as I ask. His back is against my chest as he pulls his leg up against his stomach. I turn over to reach into his nightstand grabbing out the essentials. After I prepare my erection, I squirt a generous amount of lube onto my pointer finger. Just before I stick my fingertip into his puckered hole I run my mouth along his neck and shoulders. I hold off on entering him until he is rocking his hips back into me. I maneuver the arm that is lying on the bed so the palm of my hand is lightly gripping his throat. Throwing his back against my shoulder, he groans in excitement. Finally I slowly push my finger into his hot core, gliding just the tip in and out, slowly stretching his ass. He starts humming with every shallow thrust, the vibrations massaging my palm. When he starts pushing back against my finger, silently asking for more, I push a second digit into the scorching heat, twisting and spreading my fingers some, prepping him slowly. Again I wait until he seeks out more pressure before adding a third finger. Never stopping the ministrations to his neck I adjust my pace to longer licks, and harder bites.

"Please...I need...more...more...please...fuck me," he pants, his hips thrusting faster against my fingers. I pump my fingers in a few more times before removing my hand completely. Grabbing him under the knee I lift his leg some as I position my head against the puckered skin.

"Please come on, fuck me. I can't wait any longer...please."

Slowly I push just my tip in stopping at the underside of my crease, lightly rocking into his darkened cavern. A little bit at a time I push myself in farther then pull almost all the way out, leaving just the head in. Waiting for just a moment, I patiently anticipate that moment when his inner ring of muscles relax, sucking me farther into his tight ass. As the first piercing enters him he growls out, my hand gripping his throat a bit harder. Every time a piercing slides into him my grip on his neck tightens. I feel just as much as I hear the mixture of moans and grunts emanating from his chest. Momentarily pausing when I am sheathed to the hilt inside my love, I wait for him to start squirming beside me. It doesn't take him long before he is wriggling in my hold, needing more. With the hand that was holding up his leg I now reach for the bottle of lube.

"Open your hand up for me please." He lifts his hand for me.

I bring the bottle up to my mouth to snap open the cap, before pouring the cold liquid onto his fingertips.

"I want you to match your pace to my thrusts baby."

He groans as he grips his own hardened length with a slick hand. I slowly begin a steady pace thrusting into him deeply. Damn I want to fuck him hard and fast. I begin to thrust harder, faster, deeper, my grip tightening on his neck.

"Oh fuck yeah, choke me baby." he grunts.

I pound into him relentlessly over and over again, groaning loudly. "Oh fuck yeah, I'm gonna cum baby. Can you cum with me?"

"Mmm fuck yeah."

I slam into him with vehemence. As my groin tightens with my impending orgasm I move my mouth over his neck.

"Cum now baby. Cum for me."

As I squirt into the condom I bite on to his neck, marking him with my teeth.

"Holy...shit that...feels...amazing...ahhhhhh!"

I slow down my pace as I ride out the rest of my orgasm, never letting go of his neck. Our breathing slows down as we lay here, my cock still sheathed in his heat. I feel myself starting to drift off as somewhere in the back of my psyche I hear a phone ringing. Emmett dismounts himself from me reaching for the cordless phone on the night stand. I barely register the one sided conversation as I shut my eyes, curling up in the warm sheets.

"Hello?" I feel a slight tug against my dick as he pulls the condom of my flaccid cock.

"Yeah, sorry we have been asleep for a while now what's up? What the fuck does that mean?"

A long pause.

"No...no I'm telling you the forensics are wrong. Well don't you think he would have realized it was the same bitch?"

Okay, that caught my attention. I open my eyes to look over at Emmett who is staring at me.

"No. We will deal with this in the morning. There are other things we need to tell you anyways. Did you not hear me? I said this conversation is over," his voice raising in anger. He growls as he snaps the phone shut, frowning at me.

"Well I guess that explains the fucking message."

"Em, what's going on?"

"I don't know how to tell you this but, forensics are showing that Tanya and Irina are the same woman."

I gasp.

_NO FUCKING WAY._

* * *

><p>AN: Did anyone see that coming? I sure as hell didn't! If you didn't see the video teaser then you are not following me on Twitter or friends with me on Facebook, in which case you should be because I post teasers and such on a regular basis. Speaking of the Facebook I need to thank a certain someone in the kink room for providing me with some kinky slash insight! Thank You GM I love ya! Muah! Anyways leave me some lovin', hell you can even leave me some hate if that's your thing. Inspire me with the reviews to write faster! Until next time...MUAH


	9. Chapter Nine: Convalescent

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed last chapter! I can't tell you how much I appreciate every review, alert and favorite that you all send my way! So I have a question for you all...what would you rather have an A/J wedding Chapter or an Outtake? Let me know either in your review or in a PM. Of course I need to stop a moment and thank my beta's Nocturnal Emissions and Nickeyd26. I would also like to thank Witchyvampgirl for pre-reading this chapter for me! You were awesome! By the way all three ladies here have stories out...do yourselves a favor and check them out! Check out the rec's in the ending a/n for some amazing stories to read..

**WARNING**:_ There is angst in this chapter. Not much but some. If you do not wish to read this then you can skip this one and wait for the next one. If you are not 18+ then you need to skedaddle. I refuse to corrupt our world's youth._

***Disclaimer: SM owns anything and everything to do with The Twilight Saga. I just like to give them hard times and cute little playthings...**

ENJOY!

* * *

><p>Convalescent<p>

It has been six months since we found out my ex-girlfriend and the blond bimbo are most likely one in the the same person. Things have changed since that day. I have withdrawn from my world quite a bit. I no longer talk to anyone, or go out in public unnecessarily. At first Jasper and Alice both were insistent on calling everyday to check up on me. After a few weeks the calls dwindled down, eventually dying out completely. I feel bad sometimes, knowing her wedding is only a month away now. I'm sure she has found someone else to be her honor attendant, even though Em is still Jasper's best man. Emmett. Oh my poor baby. It's hard to think about him, knowing I barely give him attention anymore. He used to call me throughout the day, leaving me cute text messages, checking up on me. When I didn't answer any of them he also stopped checking in with me constantly. Not to mention I have completely walked away from my lifestyle with him. Together we are trying to be just vanilla but it's not easy. It doesn't help that Emmett keeps goading me into it. The more time passes, the more he and I fight. On top of everything else a month ago we had bought a house together, adding to the stress.

Emmett's lease was up and we still hadn't gone back to my house since the break-in. I felt violated that someone had destroyed my bedroom. To me it would have been okay if the person robbed me of something other than just my clothes. The message on my mirror had frightened me a little. I wasn't afraid for myself. No, I was more afraid for Emmett. With the guilt I felt over Victoria's death I didn't want to feel that way again, especially with someone I really cared about. We were lucky to find our new house when we did. It was short notice and we were able to close escrow on it really fast.

The house is a modern, two story, ranch-style estate that sits on twelve acres of land. Tuscan inspired paint colors adorn the house inside and out. What really drew me into the house was the dark cherry accent woods. The brick driveway was recycled from the town's old unused roads. The previous owner was big on recycling and going 'green'. Most of the rooms in the house have solar powered lights, with large skylights accenting the upstairs. Emmett's favorite place however is the backyard.

A large heated in-ground pool with connected hot tub sits just beyond the home gym and sauna. Lately he spends every morning doing laps in the pool before heading inside to finish his workout. The Florida room and my music room are adjacent to each other, both with floor to ceiling dark cherry wood. They have become my favorite places in the house to relax.

Even though he and I have our separate rooms that we can retreat to, help us to get away from each other, we still fight daily. Emmett seems to have no understanding of why I don't want to get back into the lifestyle. He doesn't believe that I am a monster for the things I have done to him. Hell, we even fight about my lack of appetite. Man that was a fun day the first time I didn't eat, I think back to our argument.

"_Baby food's ready," Emmett called out._

"_I'm not hungry," I mumble._

"_Well you still need to eat."_

"_Didn't you fucking hear me? I said I wasn't hungry," I sneered at him._

"_What the fuck is going on with you Edward?"_

"_Nothing dammit. What? Now I have to be hungry all the time? I don't want to fucking eat!"_

Damn, that was fucking torture. He and I didn't talk for almost an entire day after that first fight. Since then we are ticking time bombs. One of us will make one little comment and it will set us off.

The only constant in my life are the daily text messages that someone has been sending me. When I tried to track the number down it came back as a disposable phone; no way to trace it. At first I wasn't sure what they were about. All they consisted of were addresses in different parts of town and then eventually different states. In the beginning, when the Bureau forced me to take a paid leave it was easy to go tracking down Tanya/Irina-Tanyina (a nickname that Emmett gave to her). She could be found all over town. I just always missed her by mere minutes. Eventually when she started going out of state it was harder to hide the trips from Emmett. I had to fly to the location and back again in a day's time. There was only one time I stayed the night in a hotel. The only thing working for me is the fact that he knows better than to question my whereabouts and/or money situation. I guess old habits die hard. I remember when Bella first told me I was taking a paid leave. That was another horrible day, that first day after we found out about Tanyina. As I sit here plucking away at my piano I relive that Sunday from all those months ago.

_We enter into headquarters on a Sunday afternoon, accompanied by Jasper and Alice. A large conference room is emptied out, awaiting our arrival. We are ushered into the plain white room in silence, everyone taking a seat at the black metal table. I shift in my seat uncomfortably. Why can't they ever make these seats more comfortable, more padding, something, I think as I look around at the large white boards on the wall. Head Agent Swan walks into the room, shutting the door behind her quietly. She stands at the head of the table and debriefs us on the current situation._

"_Alright, listen up everyone. Forensic tests show that Tanya and Irina Denali are either the same person or they are fraternal twins. The more likely possibility is that Irina had several surgeries and changed a few things about herself to become the new Tanya Denalee. Now we just need to find her and bring her in. We need to figure this out. What are her reasons? Agent Masen you seem to be the key here. Why are you being targeted? I'm sorry but you are no longer on the case. As for the rest of you get out there and see what you can find out. Any questions?" _

"_What the fuck do you mean I'm off the case? You can't do that to me, dammit!"_

"_Edward, you obviously are too close to the situation to see things objectively. This makes you a key component here." She shouts at me, her fists slam against the metal table. _

"_NO! Please don't do this! You can't keep me from working this case, even if I am not on the front lines."_

"_YOU ARE NO LONGER ON THIS CASE!"_

"_I will find a way Bella, I will fucking catch that bitch."_

"_Oh really? Well if you don't have the resources to work the case then you can't help. As of right now you are on paid leave. You will remain on paid leave until we drastically need you on another case," she sneers at me._

"_This is fucking bullshit Bella!"_

"_I don't fucking care Agent Masen. Now, does anyone else have an actual fucking question?"_

"_Well it's not really a question, but we were given a clue last night about Irina. Someone left a message on Edward's windshield," Jasper explains as he hands her a photograph of the message._

"_I believe this is from James, her ex-boyfriend. He has been helping us this morning with her routine. He said he was going to tell you what he knew." Bella shrugs._

"_He said he was going to, not that he did. I don't think this is from him." Emmett replies._

"_Regardless of wording, I still believe this was James warning you." With that said she walks out of the room, slamming the door shut. Ha! Watch me stand on the sidelines while everyone else fights for me. I will find the fucking bitch that ruined my life. _

"Edward?"

The sound of Emmett's voice pulls me back from the flashback. Lately, I have been getting them off and on, for no apparent reason.

"Yeah?"

"Hey breakfast is on the table for you if you want to eat today. I need to go to work now. I will see you later."

Without a kiss or a hug goodbye he just up and leaves. I sigh. I know he wants me to go eat, might as well try to please him in just this one little way. Mumbling all the way to our bedroom, I get dressed for the day in jeans and a light weight blue tee shirt. Just as I am about to leave the room, a small book lying on the ground catches my attention. Walking over to retrieve it I notice it's Emmett's journal. Wow, it's been so long since I had him write in here. Curiosity overcomes me as I open the leather bound book. _Holy shit_! There are numerous journal entries in here! I flip through to his last known entry and begin to read his deepest thoughts.

_Entry #1_

_I feel as though I have lost my Master. It has been a month since the playroom incident. I have forgiven him over and over again. Now he just needs to forgive himself. I really hope we can go back to being M/s again. It's what we both need. I only wish it won't take him forever to realize that. We haven't had sex in three weeks. I miss my boyfriend, my Master, my best friend._

_Entry #4_

_My lease is up on the apartment. Edward and I are going house hunting today. I really hope we find something that he will like. As long as he likes it then I am fine with wherever we go. I just need for him to be happy again. He refuses to eat lately. If it wasn't for the protein shakes he would probably be a twig by now. _

_Yes! We found a house that Edward really likes! I actually really love it too! The backyard is amazing! I could do so much with a yard that size! I wonder if Edward will let me get a dog. I don't want to ask him though; it will only make him even more mad right now. We got into another fight today. This time it was about me wanting to have sex with him. I guess he no longer finds me attractive._

_Entry #22_

_Gee what a surprise, once again Edward and I are fighting. All because I accidentally called him Sir. It's not my fucking fault that I miss what we used to have. I need my Master back. What am I going to do? Should I break up with him and go find someone else? How long does he expect me to go without sex? This really blows. I miss how we used to be. _

_Entry #45_

_FUCKING ASSHOLE! I can't stand to be around him anymore! Fuck I want to whip him now instead of the other way around! He needs to stop being such a fucking pussy. We got to have "sex" today. Although Edward felt like a mechanical bull ramming my ass. I didn't even know it was possible to cum without an orgasm._

_Entry #56_

_Okay, I am done. Any more days like today and I will walk away for good. I can't believe how distant he has become. I tried to coax him into whipping me. Instead he left for a "trip" somewhere overnight. He said it was for work. Only thing is I know he hasn't been back to work yet. We just talked about that this morning at work. Oh yeah btw, we went back to having no sex again! Two more weeks without it. Before all of this, how were we able to go through the work week without sex? And like the stupid little submissive I am I can't even grab my own dick and jerk off. It feels wrong, disgusting, almost because I know I don't have 'his' permission._

_Entry #67_

_Fuck I hate the damn weekends now. Walking on eggshells sucks. Geez maybe if we fucked things would be better._

_Nope I take that back. Getting fucked by distant Edward is the worst thing ever! Dammit! I can't stand this anymore; I have twenty-four/seven blue balls. _

_Entry #83_

_I found out about Edward's little side trips to track down that fucking bitch. I don't even know what to think anymore. Maybe he would rather be with her. I know I can't say anything to him because it's not my place to. I just really wish he would talk to me. We used to have such a great relationship. Now we are purely roommates. Fuck I hate this._

I scream out as I slam down the journal onto the bed._ Fuck!_ He fucking knew about my trips and he didn't say anything! I wonder why he didn't. I scream in rage as I kick a hole into the drywall. FUCK! I need to get out of this room!

Racing down the wooden staircase to the large open foyer I sulk over to the baby grand piano, sitting down at its feet. I need to get my frustrations out and the music room is too far away right now. Besides who cares, Emmett's not home right now. It takes me a few moments before I can lift my fingers to the keys to pelt out Giuseppe Verdi's song called Requiem.

The angry music flows throughout the house in agonizing volume. An hour and a half go by before I realize my fingers are aching and I am feeling defeated. I need to fix the damage that I have done before Emmett walks away from me for good. First things first, I need to go back to the lifestyle. I am beginning to wonder if the way I am feeling is because I let that part of myself go. I need to call Alec. I hurriedly walk into the kitchen to grab my cell phone, when I see a text message.

_356 Camino De Vida_

_Santa Fe, New Mexico_

_Was seen at 8:56 am._

I look at the clock; it's now quarter after ten. Damn. She would be long gone by the time I got there. Suddenly I don't want anything to do with tracking her anymore. I need to fix my home life. Carlisle and Esme have been out for the last two months searching for her. I can't worry about that right now. Let the twins track down the blond bimbo. I dial Alec in hopes that he will be home.

"Hello Edward. How are you?" Alec answers on the third ring, sounding distant and cold. Fuck, please don't tell me I fucked up this relationship too.

"Hello Alec. I am fine thank you, and you?"

"I am fine. What can I do for you?"

"I need some advice. I feel like my world is falling apart. I just found out that Emmett has been writing in his journal for the last six months and what I found is horrifying. I really fucked up my

relationship with him," I whisper, trying to hold back my emotion.

"Edward, I think you fucked up a lot of relationships lately. It's almost as if you forgot about everyone else in the world and only cared about yourself. Have you tried to fix things with him?"

I am deeply pained by his statement. Dammit, I really fucked everything up. How did I get to this place?

"Not yet, but I know I need to do something before he leaves me."

"I am not sure what to say. You gave up your lifestyle, your relationship with Emmett. What is it that you want Edward? You can't fix this if you don't know what you want."

He still sounds so bitter towards me, a sign he is not pleased with me at all.

"I want him and to be a good Dom for him again. I can't lose the one person who means everything to me." I hunch forward as I grasp a hold of my hair pulling tightly.

"Well I guess you better figure things out then shouldn't you?" He pauses. "Why did you give it up in the first place?"

"Because I hurt him Alec! I abused the shit out of him!" My voice hits an octave higher in anger. Problem is, I'm not mad at Alec's words, I am mad at myself for having to say it.

"Okay, I need you to listen to me. Do you remember when Jane was in the hospital three years ago?"

"Yeah?" I sigh.

"I'm the reason why she was in there. I had severely hurt her while suspending her from the ceiling. Yeah, it took me awhile to get back into the swing of things, but I surely didn't take no damn six months to recover. Ever wonder if that's why you are feeling the way you are?"

"Maybe a little I have, yeah. I just don't want to hurt him again."

"Have you ever thought of letting Emmett be the judge of what hurts him? I think you could hurt him worse than any implement you use on him."

"No, I guess I never thought to ask him. I was always sure I knew what he needed."

"Why don't you try a small scene with him? Then if things work out go from there."

"Okay, I can do that. Thank you Alec."

"Yeah, yeah. But I am telling you now if you don't pull out of this slump soon I am going to be sending your dumb ass to therapy, you hear me?

"Yes Sir."

"Okay good. I am gonna go now. If you need me call me anytime. Bye Edward."

"Thank you again Alec. I will try not to call too often then. Bye."

Taking a deep breath in, I push off the counter as I hang up pocketing my cell phone and keys. I need to start making things better as of right now. After locking up the house I jump into the Volvo, getting gas on the way. My first stop is the storage facility. This is my first time ever coming here since we moved. Most of the belongings in here are pieces to my old playroom. I have a very hard time seeing this stuff right now, knowing I am about to jump back into it.

Emmett had done a good job in packing everything away in here. I am surprised that everything has a label on it, listing the contents of the clear plastic containers. I open the one that says implements, picking through it seeing my wide variety of whips and floggers. I choose one of Emmett's favorites, a brown leather single tailed whip. Hesitantly I pick up the whip, flipping it around in my hand, weighing it, sizing up the length. Six months' worth of tension rolls off my shoulders just then as I feel the strong leather in my hand. Abruptly it clicks. I put myself through this hell. I was denying my true nature. I am who I am. I haven't been that man in far too long. I need to reconnect with not only myself, but Emmett as well. Hmm, does this mean he was picking fights with me on purpose? Trying to manipulate me to getting back to my Dom side? I contemplate all of this. It seems logical.

_You can do this. You have done this a thousand times before. This is who you both are. You both want this_. With a new found determination, I leave the storage facility, feeling more like myself than I have in months.

My next stop is to get Emmett a puppy. Even though he did not ask me straight out, I know he really wants one. He was just afraid of my reaction to the animal. Personally, I am not an animal lover, but if this will make him happy then it is worth it to me. I know I can't buy his forgiveness with the puppy, but I am at least hoping it will warm him up to me again. A skinny blond woman saunters up to me with a sexy grin on her face as I walk into the pet store.

"Hi there. My name is Lauren. What can we do for you today?" She smiles at me, sticking her hand out. I shake her hand giving her a smile back.

"Hello. I'm Edward. I'm here to buy my boyfriend a puppy." Her smile falters some. Quickly remembering her job she pulls herself together, giving me the same big smile.

"Oh, sounds great. And what is boyfriend looking to get?"

"Well, he doesn't know about the puppy yet. I'm surprising him with it tonight."

"Aww, how sweet! Well tell me about boyfriend then."

Without even realizing it, the smile on my face grows larger.

"Well he works for the government. He is 6'5", a big burly guy, you know, lots of muscles. He is playful, but also very lovable. At first glance he is intimidating, but once you get to know him, he is a huge teddy bear."

"I think I have the perfect puppy for you. Follow me."

She takes me over to the kennels of yipping little creatures. We pass by short ones with pushed in faces, tall ones with really long tan hair, even some with deformities, until she stops at the last kennel with a medium size gray puppy with huge ice blue eyes. He cocks his head to the side as he checks me out. I immediately fall in love with the adorable face.

"What kind of dog is he?"

"He is a purebred Blue Great Dane. He's five months old right now. His family moved away and couldn't take him with them."

"He seems kind of big to be only five months old."

"Yeah. Great Dane's can be thirty to thirty-four inches in height and can weigh anywhere from one hundred and twenty to two hundred pounds."

"Won't he like kill us with his size? That seems like a really big dog. He reminds me of a damn tank!"

She laughs at me while she pets the artillery tank of a damn puppy. Shit, this is one scary mutt.

"Well just like your boyfriend, he looks intimidating but once he gets to know you the breed are known to be gentle giants. However even though they are gentle to their masters, don't let that deceive you, he will be fiercely loyal to you and your home."

"I think this_ little _guy is perfect. Can you show me to the section where all the supplies are please?"

"Yep, I will show you everything you will need to make his transition into your family an easy one."

She shows me the puppy section before leaving to fill out the necessary paperwork for the adoption. It takes me a good two hours looking through all the necessary supplies. Who knew you needed collars, leashes, training leashes, a kennel, toys, food, dishes, a travel crate, beds, hygiene products, treats, the list is endless. Car seats? They make fucking dog car seats! Fuck that, our dog isn't riding in a car seat. And training pads? Don't these things come poop trained already? I got at least one of everything. Hopefully I did this right, got everything that thing will need. I take the full cart up to the registers where Lauren brings out the puppy and helps me to fit the new collar around his neck.

"He needs a name for the paperwork. It doesn't mean that's what you have to call him, I just need a name to write down."

"Tank," I reply almost immediately.

"Sounds good," she smiles.

A thousand dollars later, and after letting the dog 'do its business', I am on my way with Emmett's new plaything. I hope he likes him. I think I could get used to him. I actually start to enjoy having him with me as I run a few more errands before heading home.

My last stop of the day is to the local park to let Tank out and go grab some coffee. As I walk down the paved path I hear my name being called.

"Edward?"

I turn around to see that scumbag James from the funeral. What the fuck does he want? I'm still pissed at the things he said to my bear.

"Yeah? What do you want?"

"I was wondering how the case was going?"

"I wouldn't know; they kicked me off the case," I scoff.

"Why would they do that?" He looks at me incredulously.

"Irin...er...Tanya is my ex-girlfriend."

"I think you and I need to have a talk, Edward," he says sullenly.

I follow him to a nearby bench, unsure of what he could have to talk to me about. He doesn't talk for a few minutes as Tank plays in the grass. Just as I am about to get up he starts talking.

"As you know I dated Victoria. I was with her for about four months before she was killed. The girl I was seeing before her called herself Carmen. This girl wanted to be an actress, but didn't like the way her body was. I don't know if you know this, but I was a plastic surgeon. Now I am pretty sure Carmen only wanted me for that reason. Anyways, I had done her nose, eyelids, cheekbones, botox, and gave her a tummy tuck, before I told her I couldn't do anymore. She had only paid for $5,000 dollars of plastic surgery. I had done well over $50,000 worth of work. She wouldn't make the payments anymore so I told her I couldn't be with her, and I ate the bill. You know, I didn't know that she had a boyfriend until she was breaking up with you in the bar that night. She had told me you guys were already done. It wasn't until much later, after she started calling herself Tanya that I found out the truth. I would never have started something with her if she was taken. I may have been a drunk, but I'm not a home wrecker."

I am flabbergasted by his testimony. There is one thing that didn't add up.

"I was told your name is Rob."

"It is. My full name is Robert James Nommad."

"And she told you her name was Carmen?"

"Yes," he says the word slowly as if I am a kindergartner who can't understand.

"Huh. I thought her name was Irina. So why did she want to change her whole look?" I sit back against the bench, processing the information in my head.

"That's the part I don't understand. She said she wanted to be an actress so she needed to look like one. Then other times she told me that "when you know the people I do you can't stay the same forever". I never understood what she meant."

"I take it you think she killed Vicky."

"No, I don't think. I know." He keeps twisting his fingers together, a sign of nerves.

"What do you mean?"

"I have been going to AA meetings for almost a year now. I had been a drunk when I was with Carmen. I didn't realize how fucked up that woman really is. So when I left her I didn't think anything of it. But I sure learned quickly how sick she was because the whole time I was with Victoria, she would constantly call me or show up at my house, begging me to come back to her. I was getting clean when I began dating Victoria, so I told Carmen she was nuts. I didn't think she would do anything. All talk and shit you know? I was wrong." He was quiet for a moment.

"Anyways, the day of the funeral she told me that you were the ultimate test. If you couldn't recognize her then she was ready for acting. Two days later she told me what had happened. She had killed Victoria so she could come back to me, she needed me. I think she just wanted more plastic surgery. When they called me in for questioning, I told that head agent everything. I have been helping her ever since. After this is all done they will be sending me into the Witness Protection Program."

I sit and ponder the information he has given me. If it weren't for my years of training for the FBI I wouldn't believe him. His body language says he is telling the truth. It may be really stupid of me to trust him but we are taught to go with our initial instincts.

"If you were helping Bella then why were you sending me text messages?" I turn towards him, facing him a bit more than before.

"I'm sorry Edward, but I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Really? That's fucking odd. I get a message sent to me every day of her whereabouts." I grab my hair in exasperation. What the...?

"I have been trying to track her for a while now with no luck. Then again I never knew where to look." He gives me a knowing look.

"You know seeing as how I am kicked off the case and can't do anything, and you need the information to find her, I have a proposition for you. I want that bitch found. I will supply you the information I receive and you catch that bitch. If you need help with expenses I will gladly pay for it."

He nods his head in agreement.

"Edward I think that's a great idea! Although, I think we should keep this to ourselves."

"I agree."

"That only leaves one question. Who is sending you the text messages?"

"I have no fucking clue."

We finish up our talk, exchanging numbers and email. Our excitement is tangible. The prospect of taking her down is exhilarating. After setting up a plan of attack we go our separate ways like we never even talked. Poor Tank slept through most of the conversation. I pick him up, whispering in his ear.

"Come on little guy. Let's get you home to meet your daddy."

* * *

><p>Upon arriving at home and unloading all the dog supplies, I remember I had grabbed the whip from storage. Time to make or break me. There was no turning back after the hell of a day I just had. I need to find solace in something. I set the little crate up for Tank and set all the supplies next to him in the Florida room. I don't want Emmett to find him before I am ready. Now to plan out this night perfectly. I tape a note to the door telling him he had until six pm to get undressed and up to our bedroom in his waiting position. After setting the whip on the bed I leave to go take a shower and get ready for him to come home. It is just after six when I make my way up to the bedroom in a pair of my ripped blue jeans. I startle Emmett as I open the bedroom door. He is standing at the foot of the bed naked, reaching out to touch the whip. When he hears the door open he swiftly turns around to face me, gasping.<p>

"Edward."

"Why are you not in position bear?"

"I'm sorry, I am confused. What's going on?"

"You were told to get into your waiting position; now do as you were told."

He drops to his knees as he settles into the correct position. My cock stirs at his submission. Even after all this time, he is perfect.

"That's right on your knees little bitch."

He trembles at my words.

"Yes Sir. Only for you Sir."

"It's been a long time since we have done this. I am not sure you really want this. Maybe I am wasting my time," I instigate.

"No Sir please," he begs; he is looking up at me but never makes eye contact.

"That's right. While you are on your knees I want you to beg me to whip you, beg me to turn that ass bright red," I chastised him.

"Oh fuck yes...please Sir...please whip me... whip me til I bleed...please," he pants, his back arching in anticipation.

Suddenly I falter in my stance. Fuck me, what if I hurt him. I can't hurt him. I am too excited to do this right now.

"Baby I can't. I can't hurt you again."

"You won't. This submissive trusts you Sir. You need to dominate and this bear needs to submit to you. We need to reconnect," he pleads.

"No baby. Just no. I can't do this right now."

I can't look at him anymore. I close my eyes and grip my hair as a loud feral growl rips through the air. I look up to see Emmett standing in front of me, his nose an inch away from mine.

"Fucking pussy! You don't have what it takes to be a Master anymore! Where did your edge go? What did you do, turn submissive?"

What the fuck? Maybe he is right? Maybe I have lost my edge. I stare at the whip that I had dropped on the floor, laying between us. My fingers itch to pick it back up. I can't believe he thinks I lost my edge. My vision turns red.

"_WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SLAVE? YOU WILL DO WELL TO REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE IN THIS HOUSE!"_

I lower my voice attempting to make it sound more dangerous.

"Get back on your knees where you belong. You are my little fuck toy and I will do with you as I please."

He does as he is ordered.

"Ten implemented will follow ten warm ups. Drop your forearms down to the floor, ass in the air."

I wait for him to take up his position before I align myself with his lethal body. Oh holy shit! He was goading me into this! He must need it so badly that he willingly pissed me off. My control once again resumes. I brace myself with a baited breath as I take my first swing to Emmett's naked ass, bare-handed.

The sting in my hand, the warmth of his skin, the small groan from him breaks me down. Molds me to become the Master that I was, that I know I can be again. I have fucking missed this so damn much. I let out a loud groan.

"Are you okay baby?"

"Yes Sir. I am green."

_Slap...Slap._

I watch as his flesh reddens more with each spank.

_Slap...Slap._

My cock lengthens at the sight.

_Slap...Slap._

Emmett's body is twitching in anticipation.

"Color bear?"

"Green Sir. You can hit me harder. I don't mind."

I chuckle at his admission. He must have missed this as much as I have. I finish out the remaining spanks with my hand.

"Damn baby. Your skin is a delicious shade of red right now. I have missed this so much."

"I have missed you Sir. Please don't ever give up on this again." Even though he can't see the action I nod my head at him.

"Never again bear. Never again," I purr, reaching down to knead the soft flesh of his backside. Once he is grinding back against my hand, I stop my ministrations to reach for the leather whip. I have to mentally prepare myself to not hurt him. I take a deep breath in and let it out. First things first.

"Are you ready love?"

"Yes Sir. Your bear is green."

After taking another deep breath in, I swing the whip just as I am blowing the air back out.

_SNAP_.

Damn that feels amazing, feeling the whip bounce back against my hand. I smile as Emmett moans.

_SNAP...SNAP...SNAP...SNAP._

The sound of the leather tendril licking his skin has my cock hardening more with every blow. I bend down to knead the bright red skin, eliciting a loud guttural moan from deep within his chest.

"Still green baby?"

"Oh...fuck...yes...Sir," he pants.

_SNAP...SNAP...SNAP...SNAP...SNAP_.

I begin to notice my arm is sore from swinging as I finish out my remaining whips. I roll my shoulder trying to ease some of the tenderness as I drop the implement to the floor. I did it. I could whip him without hurting him. The feeling coursing through my body is exhilarating. I have never been this happy to be who I am. We _can_ have it all.

"How ya doing baby? Stand up, let me see your ass." He gets up off his knees and turns away from me. I knead his skin more as the telephone rings. I whisper to him as I pick up the phone, "Go get me the cream please." He nods as I answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Edward Anthony Masen. Are you done being a douchebag yet?"

"Hello Alice. How are you?" I laugh at her greeting. After the way that I dismissed her, I'm glad that she is speaking to me at all. Man it feels good to hear her voice. I didn't realize how much I have missed both her and Jasper.

"I am fine thank you. Now are you done being an idiot so I can have my honor attendant back?

I can't believe she would still even consider me a friend, let alone still wants me to be in her wedding. I feel honored that she still thinks of me as something other than pond scum.

"Well, I am out of my little slump if that's what you are asking. So you still want me to stand up with you?"

"Oh Eddie! Would you please? Oh it would make my wedding day perfect!"

I am not sure how me attending would make it perfect but I have a lot of making up to do.

"Sure Alice, you can count on me."

"Oh great! Okay I have to go now; I have to go tell Rosalie she isn't my maid of honor anymore."

Oh fuck, she can't do that to Rosalie. That's not fair.

"Alice, wai..." I try to get out but she hung up on me.

Damn that woman was a spitball of fire. I chuckle as I put my cell phone on the charger when a loud scream sounds, vibrating against the walls.

"EDWARD!"

"Emmett? What's wrong baby?" I scream back, running through the house.

"BABY YOU GOT ME A PUPPY?"

Oh shit.

"You weren't supposed to see him yet. Hey did you get the cream?" I ask as walk through to the Florida room. Emmett is sitting down on the floor with his fingers through the crate, letting the dog sniff him. When the hell did he put pants on?

"Fuck the cream baby. I wanna see the puppy."

I laugh as I open the crate allowing the little Tasmanian devil out. He runs right for Emmett's arms, jumping up to lick his face. Warmth spreads through me as I watch Emmett become a kid again. I lean up against the door frame, sighing in contentment.

"Does he have a name?" Emmett whispers.

"Why are you whispering love?"

"I don't want him to think we don't love him because he doesn't have a name."

"The papers I signed for him were under the name Tank. You can change it if you want."

"No. I think Tank is perfect."

"I hope you know I'm not trying to buy your affection or anything."

"No, I know that. Thank you so much baby. I love you."

"I love you too babe. Forever and Always."

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you all for reading please send me some love ;)

The song that Edward plays on the piano can be found here: http:/www(DOT)youtube(DOT)com/watch?v=DdT1Mw4Q.

Thank you all for reading this chapter. I hope that you are all still here! Not much to say just need to do a few rec's.

The first up is from my beta Nocturnal Emissions:

http:/www (DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/s/7796561/1/bInvoluntary_b_bRapture_b

The next us is from my other beta Nickeyd26 (THIS IS ANOTHER ED/EM O/S):

http:/www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/s/7875840/1/bWide_b_bAwake_b

The next up is from my pre-reader WitchyVampGirl:

http:/www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/s/7770089/1/bSeattle_b_bExpress_b

The next one up is from a friend of mine in the kink room:

(ITS A DEMETRI AND MOBWARD STORY)

http:/www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/s/7411943/1/bCivil_b_bBlood_b

Enjoy! Anywho, don't forget to let me know about the A/J wedding...chapter or outtake! Until I see you guys next time MUAH


	10. Chapter Ten:Adjustments and Whips

A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't had a chance to post this until now. RL just got real crazy, Crazy GOOD! I mean hectic sure but it's been great! I huge thank you to my beta'ing team: Nocturnal Emissions, WitchyVampGirl, Nyddi, and Nickeyd26. You all did an amazing job. Thank you ladies for being a part of this adventure with me.

_WARNING: THIS SCENE CONTAINS ELEMENTS OF BDSM. THERE IS A PLAY PARTY IN THIS CHAPTER IF THIS IS NOT FOR YOU PLEASE MOVE ON. IF YOU ARE NOT 18+ YOU DEFINITELY NEED TO MOVE ON! I AM NOT CORRUPTING OUR WORLD'S YOUTH._

_***Disclaimer: Yeah I don't own any of the recognizable names in here those all belong to Stephenie Meyer. I however allow them to go to play parties and have some fun!***_

_**Adjustments and Whips**_

Last night was spent settling Tank into our home, making sure his bed was in the bedroom with us and all his toys and things were out for him to play with. I was more content last night than I have ever been. Seeing Emmett so happy set my heart on fire. I know it doesn't seem like much time has passed for me to have marital thoughts, but I can't help but wonder what it would be like. I wonder if we would have kids or just a bunch of dogs. What will he look like all gray-haired?

Will we always be Master and sub? What does our future hold? My mind races a mile a minute until I feel my face getting slobbered on. I look over to see icy blue eyes staring back at me. That damn dog just licked me! I chuckle, petting him behind his ears. I know today will be a very important one as Emmett and I need to have a very serious talk. Might as well get today started now.

"Em, baby. I think Tank might need to go outside." I gently shake his shoulder. He slowly opens his eyes, and stretches his muscles out.

"Hmm, morning baby. Good morning Tank." He smiles at us. Tank turns to smother Emmett's face in kisses. He definitely knows who his daddy is. I laugh, feeling content again. I love our little family.

As we lay in bed all cuddled up I think now is as good as any time to deal with all of our issues.

"Em, we need to talk." I sigh. He is immediately going to think something is wrong.

"Okay. Is everything okay?" His face drops with uncertainty.

See, I told you.

"Yes, baby. Everything is fine. We just need to talk through some of the issues that we keep ignoring."

He nods his head at me. Pulling Tank closer to his chest he prepares himself for the 'talk'.

"I want you to know why I acted the way I did for the last six months. I never meant to hurt your feelings, baby. I felt shame for being able to hurt you that day in the playroom. How can I hurt the one person who I love more than anyone else on this earth? What kind of monster does that?"

After pulling myself up to a sitting position and leaning my back against the headboard I continue to explain. "To be a Dom and do the one thing that you are never to do, is the worst feeling in the world. I can't begin to understand why you have forgiven me. You need to know that it ripped me apart to do that to you. But besides that day in the playroom, I felt guilty for Vicky's death. I still do, kind of. If I would have known how crazy Tanyina was she never would have had the chance to murder Vick. I was blinded by the thought of love. I became very depressed after we found out. Then being kicked off the case, that only made it worse." I pause as the tears roll freely down my cheeks. There is no point in wiping them away. More will follow eventually.

"I pushed everyone away from me. I did it in fear. Fear that I would end up hurting you, all of you, just like I did to Vicky. I found your journal yesterday. Seeing your entries and how poorly I was treating you hit me like a fucking freight train, baby. I needed to man up and be your boyfriend again, your Master. I missed our closeness. I called Alec and he explained to me that I needed to fix this before I lost you. After reading your journal I couldn't believe you hadn't left me, yet. Why? Why didn't you leave me? I would have deserved it."

The tears are pouring down my face now. Grasping hold of my hair with both hands I slowly rock myself in comfort. I need to ease this pain.

"I need you to know Edward, that I was never mad at you for what you did. I know you think that it's a submissive answer, but it's not. I forgave you because there was nothing to forgive in the first place. Baby you need to stop hanging onto unnecessary guilt. I am in love with you. I would do anything for you. Yes, I love being your submissive but if it made you feel better to never do that again, then I would deal with it. But you have to admit neither one of us want to give up on our lifestyle. It's who we are.

"As for Vicky, there is nothing you could have done differently that would have changed the events that lead to her death. Tanyina is a fucked up person. None of us saw this coming. And another thing, I know you feel guilty for what happened in your house, but you can't stop the actions of others. I know Doms like to feel that they have to fix everything but you don't. You can't save the world alone. Please don't ever do that to me again. You are lucky I do love you or I would have left you months ago." He chuckles as he gets off the bed to put Tank in his crate.

"You are too good to me baby," I murmur. Watching him crawl up on the bed to lie down next to me has my dick twitching. He wraps his hand around my forearm, urging me to lean into him.

"Don't you forget it, either," he says, pulling me up against his chest. My heart skips a beat. The feeling of me being pressed against his side has me wriggling in arousal.

"I need you, please. Please let me make it up to you baby?" I purr. Turning my head just a bit I can wrap my mouth around his pierced nipple easily. Mmm, I have missed how he tastes. I position myself over him. Sucking on his nipple as I move my hand over to the unattended bud and flick it with my fingers.

"Oh god. Yes please, baby. More please." Emmett groans.

I nip and suck my way down his chest and stomach. When I reach his cock I am rewarded with a leaking shaft. I lick the small bead of salty liquid from his tip. Hmm, so good. I take his lengthy shaft into my mouth, engulfing his girth. Moving my hands from his nipples, I rake them down his chest and stomach, leaving trails of small red scratches on his skin. Pulling my mouth back up his length, I grab his balls and knead the soft sack.

"Mmm, that feels so good baby."

Sucking.

Nipping.

Licking.

Stroking.

He can no longer form a coherent thought. His hips are involuntarily bucking against my face. I hollow out my cheeks and suck him as hard as I can manage without hurting him. He grabs my head of hair harshly, pulling my face against his groin even more. Keeping a steady suction going, I allow him to piston himself in and out of my mouth freely. His ministrations start off slowly. In. Out. I grab for his balls, rolling them in my hand and I tug lightly.

"Oh, fuck baby. Your mouth is so fucking hot," he groans.

I find myself squirming on my knees. For once I need to please him. I am no longer in control. _He _is. My need to please him surpasses the need for control. I wrap my arms around his waist, grabbing for his ass cheeks. My fingers slide towards his puckered hole. I both hear and feel his excitement at the idea of having me in his ass while he is in my mouth.

"Fuck, Edward," he growled as I felt the tip of his cock hit the back of my throat.

Hearing my name said in such a way made me want to please him further. For a moment, I felt what Emmett must feel when he serves me. I had been a sub before, but never a sub in love. This feeling of being focused solely on his happiness was incredible. I knew that I couldn't deny my bear this feeling again, even when we weren't in D/s mode, the need to please was overwhelming.

Pulling on his ass cheek with one hand, my other found its way to his hole. I didn't have lube, and I wasn't going to break the rhythm of my sucking. He was close; he couldn't hide the telltale swelling and erratic thrusts. I teased with my finger around his hole. I knew I wasn't going to thrust it in without any sort of lubrication, but he didn't know that. I felt him squirm in anticipation as my finger traced around his sensitive opening.

"I'm gonna," he grunted. And, oh, I knew he was gonna. And it was gonna be good. I smiled to myself. I pulled my hand back and bent my index finger at the first knuckle. Pressing that tight against his hole, his entire body began to shake. I know that my knuckle feels a lot like my cock, with the pressure, but with the way my finger is bent, it won't go in, so I don't have to worry about causing him pain. I press again, and he cries out something, possibly in Gaelic, probably just incoherent words. I think I made out 'Edward'.

I smile at the pleasure I am bringing him as he convulses in my mouth. I feel his cock twitch as he fills my throat with my reward. I swallow greedily, licking up his shaft for any traces left.

"Baby," he says, stroking my cheek, "that was incredible." He kisses me and pulls me into his arms. I am in the place he usually is, but I don't feel that he is Topping me, just that he is loving me. The embrace is warm and loving, until he feels my erection pressing against him.

"Love, it seems we have little problem," he says wrapping his hand around my throbbing cock. I hadn't realized how hard I was. I groaned as his hand slid down my length. Thoughts of my teenage years flashed through my head. I didn't want to be that guy who came the moment he was touched, but damn, I was so hard, and Emmett knew how to make me feel so incredibly good.

I reach down and tug on my balls to try stop the feeling from building. The problem, Emmett knows exactly what I'm doing. He takes my hand and holds it in his. "Stop trying to be 'Sir' here. Just let it go, baby."

And I did. For just a minute, I forgot about everything. I forgot that Emmett and I had been having problems. I forgot that Victoria was dead and her killer was out there, probably my crazy ex- girlfriend. I forgot it all as my cum shot all over his hand and our bodies. And I didn't care. For once, I didn't care.

"Is tú mo ghrá," he whispers in my ear. My face must have shown my confusion as he chuckles softly.

"It means 'I love you'. For some reason I love speaking to you in Gaelic. There is something incredibly romantic about it. Cheesy or not I love it." He seems shy all of a sudden.

"Baby, that is the most cheesiest thing I have ever heard. But it's also the best thing I have ever heard. Is tú mo ghrá." I repeat the words to him. My head is suddenly filled with thoughts of us permanently bound even more completely than my collar binds him to me.

Bound to each other forever.

_Two months later..._

These last weeks have gone by very smoothly. I feel like I am back to my normal self again. I kept my promise to Emmett and stopped tracking Tanya/Irina. I still receive the text messages from the anonymous person only now they are directly forwarded to Carlisle. Let the twins track the dumb bitch down.

It has not been easy adjusting to having Tank in the house but it has been fun, to say the least. Emmett spent a month crate training the pup and it was all for nothing as he now sleeps in our bed with us. I don't mind now, but what the fuck are we going to do when the dog weighs 200 pounds? I have to deal with that with Emmett, now I have to deal with the dog? He has come along nicely, I must admit. I was nervous at first, but he has grown on me.

The dog isn't the only new thing that has happened. I had decided to make another playroom. Only this time, it's a state of the art room. The door has a palm scanner for a lock and a keypad just in case. The interior of the room looks quite a bit different from our old one. I couldn't keep it the same...too many bad memories. The walls were painted a fire engine red with black accents everywhere. The St. Andrews Cross is bolted to the wall now. Other than a few new implements, everything else is basically the same.

We still have our weekend playtimes but now we added in Wednesday nights as a date night and/or Emmett's choice. Speaking of him in our vanilla relationship, he has become quite the domineering voice between us. He decides basically everything we do. I never knew he was quite the organized man. I guess I should have realized that when I had seen the way the storage area was packed. Another thing that has changed is my need to find Tanyina. She has been missing for eight months now. It was an obsession before to track her. Now it only comes to mind every so often. Usually it's worse when I see Alley with a far off look in her eyes. It's moments like those that really get to me.

The Whitlock wedding was amazing. It's nice to see my best friends so happily in love. Alice is one amazing planner. The cherry blossoms at the vineyard were in full bloom and gorgeous. I have never seen such a beautiful venue before. Everything worked out perfectly. Being her honor attendant was really something. I honestly thought it was going to be weird to stand up next to her but it was cool. It definitely fit our group perfectly.

Oh, and let me tell you walking down the aisle with Emmett had my mind racing! That was the weirdest thing I had ever done. Not a bad weird...just different. It was cool to see Tank as the 'ring bearer' and Alice's dog Pebbles as the 'flower girl'. I think the best part was seeing Rosalie walking the dogs down the aisle in a pink bridesmaid dress!

I can't help but to think of the memories as I sit here in my kitchen flipping through the pictures. Emmett is out jogging with Tank. The two of them have been going to the dog park a lot. Just as I get to the end of the photo album my phone rings.

"Hello?" I answer, without looking at my caller id.

"Hey Eddie. What's going on man?" Alec replies.

"Not much just looking at the photos from Alice and Jasper's wedding. What's going on?"

"Oh yeah? When you gonna do that, huh?"

"Uhh.." I stutter. I didn't know what to say about that.

"It's alright big guy. I was just messing with you. Actually I am calling because I am throwing a play party in two weeks and I want you and your bear to come see the new downstairs."

"What day?" I am hoping it's on the weekend. What a perfect way to start our weekend.

"It's on Saturday," he pauses a moment before answering.

Just as I am about to answer him my boys walk in the house. Smiling at them I answer Alec.

"We will be there. See you then."

"Alright. Great. See you then, Eddie." Together we hang up. My boyfriend comes to place a kiss on my lips.

"Where are we going?" He smiles at me, dimples showing.

"Alec is throwing a play party in two weeks and has invited us to go."

"Sounds perfect."

Finally, it's the day of Alec's play party. As I stand here in our bedroom getting ready for the party, my body quivers in anticipation. Tonight is going to be special. This will be our first play party since that dreadful night. I even bought Emmett a new collar. Tonight's going to be amazing. I only wish I could figure out what to wear. Hmm, do I go with tight leather pants or do I wear my normal playroom wear of soft baby blue ripped jeans with the button fly? I am still deciding what to wear when I hear Emmett walk into the room.

"I hope you don't plan on going naked like that. I don't want everyone to see my boyfriend's junk, thank you very much." He walks up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I chuckle as I grab his arms holding him against me.

"Trust me I don't plan on going naked. But I can't decide which ones to wear," I sigh, pointing to the pants on the bed.

"Mmm, may I make a suggestion?" I nod my head at him. He leans closer to my ear, his hot breath tickling me.

"I would love to see you in those ripped jeans, baby. Those are so fucking hot on your luscious ass," he purrs. Before he pulls back from me, he nips my earlobe. The small bite sends shivers rocketing down my back.

"Jeans it is then." I turn so we are chest to chest. "I can't wait for you to see what I have picked out for you to wear."

"Hmm, I can't wait to see it."

I grin at him, pulling out of his arms. I saunter over to the closet, swinging my hips at him. I can feel his eyes following my ass as I walk away. Last week I ordered an outfit and a collar for Emmett online for him to wear tonight. With my best crooked grin plastered to my face, I turn around and throw the bag to him. The only thing not in that bag is his special collar. I watch as his eyes bug out at the barely there outfit I have planned for him.

"Whoa. Please tell me I am wearing something over this until we get there." I laugh as he holds up a black leather "shirt" up to his chest. His brows furrowed as he takes in the black leather outfit. Two black leather straps crisscross over his chest and back with little chrome studs down the middle of the straps. The lower half of his outfit is a black leather chastity belt that is embedded into a pair of shorts. Only this pair has cutouts on the sides. It is held together by three small leather straps that go over his hips. Delectable!

"Yes, baby, you will be wearing normal basketball shorts and a tee-shirt over the outfit until we get there," I bellow out a laugh.

"Good thing. Might get a little cold if I didn't."

"It doesn't matter if you get cold or not, that bottom piece has a built in chastity belt. Good luck trying to have a full hard-on." I laugh as I exit the room. Just as I am about to enter the bathroom to finish getting ready I hear his loud gasp.

I pull up the long stone driveway to Alec's Victorian home. His house is exquisite. It's a newer Victorian-style home with gray bricks and a long wrap around porch. The house has eight rooms that sit on the two floors, not including the basement level. He had his basement redone to allow for large play parties to be held. It extends past the whole area of the bottom floor. We get out of the Volvo together, drinking in the sights around us. Emmett stops next to me, taking off his clothes as he goes. I place a long black velvet box on the top of the car. Taking his black tank top and basketball shorts, I fold and place the articles of clothing on the ground. I take his hand to help him kneel down on them. When I looked online for his outfit I came across a unique collar, something that fits his heritage perfectly. I also wanted to rewrite our spoken ritual to each other, adding in the now very special line. I move to stand in front of him, as I pull out the new collar. This one is a two inch thick, black leather choker with two Celtic knots on either side of the large D-ring. I take a deep breath.

"Emmett I have bought you a new collar and I think tonight is the perfect time for you to begin wearing it." I show him the collar. "Now I am sure you know the meaning of the Celtic knot but I am going to explain it anyways. The interlacing lines of the Celtic Knot stand for 'no beginning, no ending, the continuity of everlasting love and binding together or intertwining of two souls or spirits.' I have one thing left to say before I ask for your submission. Is tusa mo shaol. Is tú mo ghrá, my beautiful bear, are you willing to put your whole trust in me, giving me nothing less than your whole submission, with the knowledge that I only have the best of intentions, when it comes to providing you love, care, honesty and truth?"

"Yes, Sir, this submissive gives you his whole submission, and will do whatever he can to make sure you are ultimately pleased. Is tú mo ghrá. Is tusa mo shaol."

"That's my good boy," I purr, slipping the collar into place. As soon as it is buckled Emmett bends down to plant a soft kiss on the top of both my hiking boots. As he sits back against his heels I gently grab his chin, pulling it up. _My God_,_ he is beautiful._With a small chaste kiss to his lips I pour my heart out to him in one small sentence.

"I love you forever and always bear."

He smiles at me, showing off his dimples, as he nods his head in acknowledgement. He is in complete submissive mode right now. I help him stand up while clicking a four foot long black leather leash to the D-ring at the same time. I would never keep him on a leash like a dog; however, there are Dommes here who would snatch him up in a minute. Probably kidnap him while he is trying to go pee. I feel safer knowing he is only four feet from me at all times. Let's hope we both remember our signals to each other.

"Remember you are not allowed to talk to any Dom tonight. I don't care about the subs but when you are with me you will remain quiet. Only when you have your allotted hour to yourself are you allowed to converse with subs only. Do you remember the hand signals?"

He nods as he steps back from my side, one foot behind a step to the left. Perfect. Damn I hope tonight goes smoothly. I can't put this off any longer. We quickly move to the porch, knocking on the door as we reach it. A small petite girl with platinum blond hair and a cherub face answers.

"Sir Edward. Welcome to our home. Master Alec will be so happy that you made it."

"Hello, Jane. Thank you for the invitation. We wouldn't have missed this." I lean over, kissing her on the cheek as we pass by.

"Hello, Emmett."

"Hey, Jane."

"Follow me, please." She leads us through the large foyer to a walk-in closet.

"I know you know the drill but I am still expected to say it. Please leave all personal belongings here, including but not limited to: cell phones, keys, cameras, pocket watches, pocket knives and sunglasses. If you are in need of any condoms or travel size lubrication there are places you can find them in designated areas. Anything that can be used as a weapon must be left here. If you will be scening tonight, toys will be provided for you in the designated play areas.

"Whether you are playing or not, there will be no drinking tonight. There is a bar full of water or juice if you would like to have a drink. Please do not play in the communal area. If you would like to play please make sure to sign in with Alec, he will then offer you a room key and a scheduled time. Now if you both are ready we will join the others downstairs."

We both nod our heads at her as she begins to lead us down to the actual party. Just then the doorbell rings.

"Go on and answer that, Jane. I know my way."

"Thank you, Sir Edward." She bows, walking to get the door. I turn back to look at Emmett who is taking in the surroundings. The living room is open and an eclectic style of new versus old. You would never guess there were a bunch of naked people below us.

"You know the basement of the new house is probably big enough to do something like this if we wanted to." I suggest to him.

His eyes go wide with shock. He slowly grins at the perspective of throwing our own play party.

"I would love that, Master."

We descend the wide basement staircase together side by side. I grab his hand pulling him into a kiss before opening the door. I open the large oak door to see a wide square room. Stepping into the space to allow Emmett entrance, I take in the full effect of the party. This room is painted in a deep red with dark cherry stained wood accents. There are small groupings of black leather love seats and couches. To the left of the doorway there is a long wall of glass windows, showcasing the gorgeous private backyard. To the right of me there is a long corridor of several private rooms. Directly in front of me is Alec, sitting in a high backed brown leather throne with gold accents.

Alec is a tall, lanky man with chocolate brown eyes, and a long face. His body is muscular but nothing like Emmett's. I walk over to where he is sitting, nodding hello to the each Dom as I pass him or her. As soon as I come in front of Alec I motion with my hand, palm facing the floor and a slight movement downward, for Emmett to take up his resting position; sitting on his heels, forearms resting on his thighs, eyes level with my hip.

"Hello, Edward. So nice to have you here tonight. How have ya been in the last week?"

"Hello, Alec. I am doing well thank you. This looks a bit different than the last time I was here."

"Ah, yes. Jane and I have done a few upgrades. Would you like a tour?"

"Hell yeah, that would be cool."

He gets up and walks around Emmett. The head DM- Dungeon Master, will never acknowledge the presence of another sub that is not their own. With another quick hand motion, this time my palm facing the ceiling, I order him to stand. Grabbing his leash, I pull him along as Alec shows us around. In the far corner of the room next to the long corridor is a wet bar, filled with water, caffeine-free sodas, and juice. The opposite corner of the wet bar is a corner filled with beanbag chairs and large pillows, otherwise known as the 'subs corner'. The moment we came to the beginning of the hallway the smell of sex was pungent. Female arousal permeated the air in thick swirls. A romantic atmosphere is created with dim lights and soft classical music playing in the background. We come to the first door and it has a plague on it labeled, 'Medical'. The door across from that one says, 'Animal'. Moving down to the next two doors, the right side says, 'Bondage', the left hand says 'Supplies'.

"Supplies?" I stop at door confused on the type of room it could be.

"Yeah. Remember in each room there used to be a bunch of dressers filled with implements and stuff? Well, I had decided to move them all to one room that is under lock and key. Last month we had some little dabbler 'Master' come in and steal four whips. I was pissed off so we moved everything into one room. There is also an extra large autoclave in the corner to sterilize whatever is used when the night ends."

I nod my head in understanding as we move farther down the hall. There are two more sets of doors on the left saying, 'School', and the right states, 'Dungeon'. At the very end of the hall there are two separate bathrooms. One is a family bathroom, in case your Dom won't let you go alone, and a normal uni-sex bathroom with a large shower. Next to every door is a small table with a basketful of travel sized lube and condoms on it. The slight smell of paraffin wax hits the back of my throat every once in a while. You can hear the faint sounds of whips cracking and people moaning.

"So, what do you think?"

"Wow, Alec. This is amazing! I like the idea of the separate rooms."

"Yeah, that was Jane's idea. The idea was derived from our own playroom in the attic. Each room is an element from our own little world. Not to mention what people like to do the most at play parties."

I feel a benign caress against my lower back under my leather jacket, Emmett was looking to speak.

"Do you have something to ask, bear?" I ask turning my head to look at him.

"Yes, Master. This bear was wondering what happened to Sir Alec's weight room and sauna."

"Oh, yeah, that's right. What did you do with it all?" I turn back to face Alec.

He laughs, smiling at us both.

"Well, I know you can't see it from the drive but I had added another building back behind the pool house. This damn project set me back almost $100,000."

"Wow! You did this all just for play parties? Why?"

"Why not? When you are seen as a major role in the lifestyle, you get a little crazy and do shit like this. Now come on and let's go back to the others."

We move back into the large sitting area and I nod my head at several Dom's. Sitting in a couch nearest to Alec, I begin to people watch those around me. There are several recognizable Dom's in the sitting room at the moment. Some are with male subs others are with females. I notice one Domme I have not met before with a female sub. When I went to my first play party I was shocked at the sights surrounding me. There were naked people everywhere. Lingerie, latex, leather; I was so surprised to see genitals hanging out everywhere. Now it seems odd when someone is dressed in a mini skirt and tank top.

"Edward! How ya been man? Long time no see!" A short man with orangish reddish hair exclaims.

"Hey, Riley. I'm doing good, how are you?" I shake the man's hand before sitting down. Emmett situates himself between my legs, sitting on his knees, leaning back to rest against his heels. That's gonna kill him in the long run.

"Yeah, you know I'm hanging in there just doing the working thing. Got a child on the way now. My buttercup is two months. Can you believe that shit?"

"I can't believe you are gonna be a daddy! The world better watch out!" I laugh. The young girl at his feet is beautiful, but aren't pregnant women supposed to have a baby bump? Seeing her in the barely there lingerie you can see she is still flat as can be.

"Which is why, thank God, there won't be any lil Edward's running around," Laurent calls out. Laurent is sitting next to me wearing a pair of bright red leather pants and no shirt. He is one of my favorite men here. I will kick anyone's ass if they make a racial slur against him. Yes, he is black and gay. I really fucking hate labels. He is a man that loves his boyfriend, what is so wrong with that?

"Fuck off, asshole. How do you know there won't be any mini me's running around?" The entire corner we are sitting in bursts into laughter.

"And is your bear there going to carry your babies?" Riley laughs in an odd spasm sort of way. I mean really his whole body shakes when he laughs.

"Do we need to sit you down and tell you where babies come from Edward?" Laurent bellows.

"No, you dumb fucks. Ever hear of a surrogate mother?" I shake my head. Where do these guys come from?

Emmett starts shifting slightly. The floor must be getting uncomfortable on his knees.

"Alec? Where are your pillows?" He looks around for a second. Looking bewildered he answers me as he shrugs his shoulders.

"Beats the fuck out of me. Janey should be back soon. I will ask her." I nod as I bend down to whisper in Emmett's ear.

"Few more minutes, baby." With the slightest of nods he acknowledges me.

"Are you gonna answer the question, Eddie? Are babies in the works for you two?" Alec asks. Instead of sitting back in this throne he comes and sits down next to me. I think it is much easier to talk to him this way then if he was in a throne.

"I don't really know. I guess we never talked about it."

Come to think of we it really haven't talked about any kind of future at all. Alec is just about to answer when a strange smile comes across his face. I look over my shoulder to see Jane standing with a new Dom and sub.

This Dom is buff, almost as buff as Emmett with short brown hair with hints of red. I am going to guess they were of Irish descent because he has a large celtic cross on his bicep. I think he would get along with my bear. The woman next to him has a small shamrock on her ankle. But that is not the first thing that I noticed about her. First, it was her hair. She has long dark brown hair that is braided down her back. I catch a glimpse of it when she turns her head to the side. Holy shit, it's half way down her back! Alec brings the new couple over to our sitting area and clears his throat.

"A-hem. Excuse me gents. Oh, and lady. This here is our new member Master Pyro and his kitten. Over here you have Master Edward with his bear, Master Riley and his buttercup, Mistress Hannah and her sugar, and then of course you have Master Laurent and his pet."

There is a chorus of 'hey there's' and 'welcomes' being called out to the newcomers. I notice immediately his sub is very well trained. Not once did she ever try to look up at us while being introduced. I see the other subs starting to congregate around in the corner. I decide now is as good as a time as any to allow Emmett his free time. I bend down to his ear and whisper softly.

"You have one hour free, bear. Remember you do not talk to any Doms and as for restroom privileges, you must still ask. Do you understand?" I ask as I unclip the leash.

He keeps his eyes trained forward as he nods his head in acknowledgement. Even though he has been told to go he waits for me to release him from his position. With pride, I tap his shoulder twice, allowing him to stand up and walk away from me. I watch him walk away, his head down until he reaches the corner with the others. I turn my head back around to find the other Doms releasing their own subs. Hannah, I think that's her name, starts the conversation up.

"So, Edward, is it? I am liking your bear. Are you willing to let me have a session with him?"

I look at the blond Domme with fascination. She is sitting in a dark purple corset with fishnet thigh highs and some sort of underwear that looks comfortable. I will never understand female lingerie, ever.

"Yes, my name is Edward. Will I share? No, never."

"Aww, come on. You know I will give you my sugar for a day. Tell you what, why don't we compromise and we do one big scene together? You can bottom for me," she whines. It doesn't help her voice was whiny to begin with.

"Definitely not. Thanks for the offer but neither of us is willing to share." I try to turn the attention away from me.

"Riley, why doesn't your girl have a baby bump if she is two months pregnant? Shouldn't she be kinda big by now?" I ask. I am honestly curious.

"Nah, man. She's not that far along. The docs said she would show about four or five months. Maybe sooner because she is so tiny." Alec suddenly jumps in right then.

"My Jane is pregnant. Just found out about it. Got a promotion at work, too. Gotta be on the road a lot more now. I'm not sure how much of our D/s relationship we can keep up. How can we go from 24/7 to once a month? And even that's if we are lucky."

The silence is heavy for a few moments. The sound of moaning has caught my attention. It sounds as if it is a female and a male combined. How weird. I get up to go use the restroom and grab a drink, needing to clear my head of the sounds. Passing by the group of submissives I take in Emmett's form sitting indian-style on the ground, his head propped up by his two fists. He sees me pass him out of the corner of his eye and turns to look at me. He motions towards the hallway, I am assuming to go with me. With a quick nod to him, I stop to wait as he gets up.

"Master, may your bear join you, please?"

"Of course, come on." I reach out and take his hand.

We walk to down the long hallway towards the bathrooms, hand in hand. Just as we reach the last room labeled 'School' you can hear the loud moans of both male and female variety. The door is open for public viewing. I stop us just outside the door and peek in. The room is set up as a Principal's office with a large oak desk and two chairs in front of it. Tethered to the desk is a small petite woman with long mahogany hair. I couldn't see what her face looked like as she was facing away from me.

Laying there naked and spread eagle, she is ravished by a young man who is settled between her legs. He has blond spiky hair and a small, lanky body. If I were into small dudes he would be perfect. I don't realize there is a third person in the room until I hear the low command. I look up to see a very tall man standing in the dark shadows, palming the crotch of his leather pants. At first glance he doesn't seem to be involved in the scene at all. Just a voyeur. Yet, there is something that screams he is in control. This thought is confirmed when I hear him murmur stop and all movements in the room come to a standstill. My curiosity would have gotten the best of me if not for my need to relieve myself. With a slight tug on Emmett's hand we head into the bathroom.

The evening had started out fun and uneventful. Of course, with me and my luck it never stays that way. I had the two of us check out a few more scenes that were unfolding; however I never feel the need to play one out. Instead I'm fully satisfied in just talking with the other Doms and Domme. That is, until Hannah does not leave me alone about sharing Emmett. I became increasingly agitated at her attempts to persuade me.

"Oh, come on Edward, I'm not asking for you to give him up. I'm merely asking for one session with him. I have even offered you my little girl. Hell, we can even do it here tonight. I just need to feel his perky little mouth licking my dripping wet pussy."

I had no doubt she was telling the truth on her arousal. Hell, I could smell her from across the room.

"Not gonna happen Hannah," I sneer. I am just about to leave when Alec pulls her aside. Damn that shit is annoying. I know my bear looks good but I am not giving him up!

I shake my head as I see the tall man from the earlier scene come and sit down across from me. With him is the other male and female. The two submissives seem very connected to each other, even though I cannot see either of their faces. Their faces are covered with a gypsy like scarf, only their eyes are sticking out. The air around them vibrates with familiarity and ease. However their presence mixed in with the Dom is more of a business like tone. I wonder if the subs are a couple and they share a common Dom. I no longer have time to ponder this as Alec starts talking to the Dom.

"Hey Felix, how was your session?"

"It was rough actually." he points to the other male," Demetri here is in training. So half the session he stays a sub the other half he Tops."

"Yeah, training someone is not an easy thing to do. To get out of one mind frame for another is the hardest part I believe," Alec muses.

Felix nudges Demetri's back with his knee. The small movement jolts his head up and slowly his demeanor changes. Gone is his straight back, gone is the down cast eyes, now he is regal and poised. He looks back at Felix and awaits his command, a small nod.

"The hardest part for me is to remember who I am at the time. Going from submissive to Dom is complicated. I understand now the need to become a submissive first to understand what it takes to fully submit your will to someone. I want to be the best Dom I can be for my girlfriend and the only way to do that is to experience what she will go through."

"Wait, does your girlfriend know that you are subbing with someone else? Won't she care that you are with another woman?" I ask pointedly looking at the woman beside him. He chuckles as he looks over at her.

"That's just it. She is my girlfriend." He turns around and looks at Felix. "Sir, because we are so unique may I explain please?" Felix is grinning and nodding at him.

The woman lifts her head up enough for me to see the outline of her face. I know those eyes from somewhere. Those eyes I see on a weekly basis. Holy Shit! It's Head Agent Bella Swan!

"Isabella was with Sir Felix first. She has been a submissive to him for close to five years. I came to them after Sir Felix found me in a rehab center. I have been with them for two years now. Things were strictly D/s between us all and then things changed. We have all talked about it and Isabella and I want to go off on our own. One day she will be my buttercup. Until that day that Sir Felix releases us I want to train as hard as I can."

Well, that explains how she knew I was a Dom. She must have seen me at play parties before. Although I am guessing Felix has always had her face covered up which is how I never noticed her before. With yet another slight hand movement Demetri retreats back to being a submissive.

Conversation flows easily after that. People are laughing and have a good time. Nearing the end of the night the moans get louder and the clothes become more scarce in attempts to hold onto the experiences of the night. If it were a normal party I'm sure this is when everyone would be drunk and swaying profusely. I was having such a great time getting back into the swing of things. I decide to start ending our night when a voice from my past rips through me. NO! Not here!

"Edward? Baby? Wanna play?" I turn around on the couch to see a completely naked Irina...Tanya...fuck whoever she is, holding a pistol to my head.

You know when they say right before you die everything happens in slow motion? Well, let me tell you that's a bunch of bullshit. I didn't see my past, I didn't see the faces of my loved ones. No instead I stared down the black barrel of her 9mm Glock 23.

That is when everything went into fast motion. I see her begin to pull the trigger as I see Emmett spring out to tackle her. Just as his body connects with hers the trigger engages. I feel an intense pain in my right shoulder as Irina screams out in frustration.

_The voices sound far away._

_The pain in my arm and chest was excruciating. _

_I begin to feel myself blacking out._

A/N: Don't shoot me! You know he can't die it's in his POV! What the hell was I thinking right? I hope this clears up the Bella questions...she was never meant to be a main character. Anyways leave me some love! Until next time ya'll Muah


	11. Chapter Eleven: Wounds

A/N: Hello everyone! I apologize for not getting this chapter to you sooner. However there was a lot of research that went into this chapter so it took me a bit longer than expected. Even with all the extensive research there are still parts in here that I had to "make up". However before flaming me for it please remember this is still fiction. No one was hurting in the making of this story. I didn't go and shoot my husband to find out exactly what happens. :P I would like to thank my pre-readers WitchyVampGirl and MissLuRose for doing such an awesome job for me. I also need to thank my beta Nocturnal Emissions for holding my hand through this hard time and for being my rock! I love you! I apologize for not getting to the reviews this time. It was not done intentional, it's just that RL caught up with me.

_WARNING: CHAPTER IS FULL OF ANGST...ENOUGH SAID_**.**

***Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I only own Master Edward and bear's adventures.***

_*UPDATED A/N*_

_After I had begun writing this chapter I had an unfortunate thing happen. I had lost a friend to suicide by gunshot. This chapter was excruciating for me to write, however I am keeping it the way it is because this is my own memorial to him as sick as that is. So I am writing this chapter with my friend Mikey in my heart and always on my mind. I 3 you Mikey!_

* * *

><p><em>Ugh. I hurt. Why can't I open my eyes? It's black here. What's going on? Who is that crying? I am confused and unsure of what is going on beside the ridiculous pain in my left shoulder. Fuck. What the hell happened?<em>

_Blackness_

"His temperature is normal..."

_Thick silence_

"...sir... I don't care who you are, you have to leave..."

_Silence_

"... he seems to be responding..."

_Pain_

_Silence_

"...baby... Edward...Master..."

Emmett? Why does it sound like my baby is crying?

_Pain_

_Silence_

_Blackness_

The world feels as though it's coming to an end. The walls inside my head are closing in. I am intensely drowsy. Finally the pain is gone. I feel giddy. My limbs feel lethargic, almost comatose. My mind is fuzzy as I try to think back to somewhere before the blackness. It's hard to move my body. I can hear a low steady beep somewhere in the back of my mind. Not to mention the sound of someone snoring lightly. The soft sounds are making my heart throb. I don't understand. Fuck. I am so tired. And hungry. My nose hurts. I try to swallow but I can't. I feel like I'm choking. Panic. Fuck the blackness is creeping up again.

_Heaviness rolls in_

_Silence_

"...come on baby please."

_Peace...languidness..._

"...can you hear me?...Edward...squeeze my fingers..."

"...why is he so cold..."

"...regulating his temperature...extreme fever..."

_Silence. Dreams of vivid colors dance behind my eyelids._

"...we gave him Dilaudid...helps with the coughing fits..."

Somewhere in the dream state I remember hearing one conversation.

"_Emmett, what are you going to do about the messages?" My mind barely registers Bella's voice._

"_I don't know. I have more important things to worry about right now Bells. It's going to take a lot more than a few threatening letters to keep me away from here," Emmett says, his voice is gruff and full of anger._

"_You better think of something. I mean what are you going to do when he wakes up? Not tell him? Get real. You and I both know he will find out sooner or later. And when he does if you haven't told him by then, you're in a world of shit."_

"_Dammit Bella! I said I don't give a shit! I will worry about that later! Edward just got out of surgery; I don't care about anything but that! FUCK!" He screams loudly. Lanquidity begins to roll in again._

_Peaceful_

_Serene_

_Comatose. Can't move my body. Heaviness washes over me._

I feel as though half my life is over by the time I begin to fully wake up. My eyes flutter open to see a bland white room. I hear a low beeping sound in the corner of the room. My eyes are unfocused and blurred. I can't see anything but outlines of the images around me. I look to my left and see the outline of a body. It brings me comfort. The body's head is resting on the bed next to my thigh. I can feel their hot breath on my fingertips. I try to move my hand to touch them but when I try to move pain shoots straight through my arm to my neck and shoulder.

"Uuughh," I groan. What the fuck happened?

The body next to me stirs at my groans. As they sit up I can make out the face. The person sitting next to me makes my heart palpitate.

Emmett.

He reaches for my hand taking my fingers into his palm barely using any pressure. With his other hand he reaches up and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Baby? Can you hear me?" His voice cracks at the end. I can also hear a slight tone of panic.

I try as hard as I can to answer him. My throat is thick with misuse. I can see the worry lines in his face deepening with each passing second. I try to clear my throat. It hurts. I panic a bit when I realize there is a thick tube running down my throat. I try again to swallow. This time it hurts like a son of a bitch as I thickly swallow. I give up on trying to answer and instead nod my head at him. Trying futilely to blink, I need to see his sweet face. With my right arm I weakly bring it to my face to wipe at my eyes. Again I try to blink past the blurriness. Giving up I decide to stop wasting my time and just see Emmett any way I can. Even if it means through a blurry barrier.

I raise my eyes to take him in. His hair has gotten longer and he needs to shave pretty badly. His eyes are swollen and cheeks are puffy. After minutes of just staring at each other my eyesight begins to clear up and I can see just how terrible he looks. His eyes are riddled with sadness. He is pallor and seems to be thinner than he was. What's wrong baby? I mentally ask. What has my baby looking so bad? It takes a moment for me to catch on. Oh right. Me. I'm the reason why he looks like this. I need to know how bad it is. I need to know what happened. Once again I try to speak but the words are in no way able to come out. He of course knows I need to know and gives me exactly what I want.

"Love, this is not going to be easy for me to tell you. You have been shot in the left shoulder baby. You are in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

Shot? I have been shot!

My mind is clouded with blackness and it has no depth. I remember hearing voices and pain. Nothing comes to mind about being fucking shot. Anger rises to the surface as the bile begins to build in my stomach. Fuck. Where was I shot? How long have I been in the hospital? Why can't I move? Emmett waits patiently for me to sort this all out without rushing me. Eventually I shake my head at him. I feel sick and angered that I have no clue what happened to me.

"You were shot by Tanya, baby. We were at Alec's play party a few weeks ago and she shot you. Fucking bitch got away again! Can't fucking belie..." he stops talking when my heart begins to race, making the machine next to me beep rapidly. He grabs my face lightly making sure I am looking at him and begins to reassure to me. I feel my heartbeat decrease the more he shushes me and whispers lovingly. Just as I am fully calm the doctor walks into the room, looking at the chart. He doesn't even notice that I am awake.

"Emmett...how is your boy doing son?" He asks, without ever looking up from my file.

"My boyfriend is awake actually. Then again you would know that if you actually paid attention," he chides. What the...? That is not the Emmett that I remember. My baby would never be so mean. I look over to see the gray haired doctor smiling at me. This man is tall and of Native American descent.

"Well, well. Hello Edward. I am Doctor Jared Cameron. I am the surgeon that is assigned to your case. Glad to see you are awake now. Let me do my assessment and we will see about removing that tube," he explains. His voice is deep and calm. It kind of reminds me of the flowing waters that run deep throughout the reservations. He stands at the head of the bed and reads the long readout attached to the heart machine. I look over to see the paper riddled with jagged lines and different colors. He notices me looking and explains the jumbled mess of paperwork.

"After you were shot to the left shoulder you had gone into hypovolemic shock. Your heart rate went up to 212 bpms. That is extremely dangerous for your heart. Any higher and you could have had a heart attack."

He moves to the other side of the bed and looks at my shoulder. "We are also watching you for other signs of shock; such as, pale skin, profuse sweating, agitation, a thready pulse, lethargy of the muscles and unconsciousness. When you first came out of surgery we had to regulate your body temperature by alternating ice blankets and heating blankets."

He puts the earpieces of the stethoscope into his ears and holds the metal end against my chest. He is quiet for a moment while he listens. "The tube in your throat is to maintain your breathing. We were afraid of you having pneumothorax, which is where air or blood leak around the lungs. Having that can cause severe respiratory distress. Your lungs have a difficult time expanding usually leading to a collapsed lung."

"Are you going to tell him about the extent of his injuries?" Emmett asks, again sounding agitated with the doctor. I wonder if these two have had problems before.

"Yes Emmett. I will. When he is ready to hear them. Right now I would like to take the tube out of his mouth and get him some more pain medication," he scolds. He moves to sit on the side of my bed right next to my right leg. He explains the procedure as he pats my leg.

"Edward, I need to pull the tube out. All together the tubing is close to a foot and a half long. The only way to get it back out is to pull it back through your mouth. You are going to take a few deep breaths and then on the last breath you are going to hold it while I pull it out. Only problem is, you will feel the need to gag and throw up. Understand?"

I nod as he leans over my body. He places his hands on my face and tilts my head down so I am staring at my thighs. Placing one hand on my chin and the other on the tube in my mouth, he pulls off the adhesive and grabs the tube.

"Alright Edward, three deep breaths for me."

I suck in the deepest breaths I can manage and slowly blow them out.

"Alright this one I need to you take a deep breath and hold it. Ready whenever you are."

I steady myself on the bed, grasping at the bed sheets. I see Emmett out of the corner of my eye creeping forward towards the bed. With a deep breath in I hold it as the doctor pulls it out of my mouth. As the tube slides back out I feel sick, and the need to gag is strong. I didn't realize how sore my nose was until this fucking thing was sliding back out. Mother fucker! This is disgusting! Just as the end of the long tubing passes the back of my throat I can feel the flexible tube pass through my throat and out my mouth. I straighten back out and cough roughly twice. Fuck this feels worse than when it was in. At least I can swallow properly now.

"Great job Edward. I will bring you a glass of water and you may sip it. Do not gulp. I' m going to have a nurse come in and bring you more pain meds. Now as for your injuries the bullet hit you in the acromion and shattered the bone. The acromion is a bony process on the scapula or the shoulder blade together with the coracoid process extending laterally over the shoulder joint. The acromion is a continuation of the scapular spine, and hooks over anteriorly. It articulates with the clavicle or your collarbone to form the acromioclavicular joint. We had to piece it back together and structurally rebuild it with pins and artificial ligaments," he drones on.

What the fuck is he talking about?

"Um you lost me after the name of the bone doc. Can you tell me what the fuck that means in English please?" Irritation is laced throughout my question.

"Yes Edward. You were shot in the shoulder. Your clavicle is now held by a steel plate in your shoulder blade. You needed two blood transfusions while in surgery. With physical therapy you should be able to have some use of your arm, although it will not be as much as before you were shot. Now I am sure the pain is kicking in again so I am going to have a nurse come in. I will check on you again a little later."

And with that he left the room. Fuck this was a lot to take in! I need to ask if this is going to affect my D/s relationship with Emmett. I can't even really look at him while I think about the repercussions of getting shot. Fuck this can't be good. What if I am never able to play sports again? Will I always be on pain meds? Fuck what about therapy? Will I always have to go?

My mind races for a while with the 'what if's' and 'why me's'.

Just as I begin to get really frustrated the nurse comes in with the pain medication. At first I thought she was going to give me a pill until she injects it through my IV. Immediately I feel warmth running through my veins as the liquid flows throughout my body. My eyelids begin to droop on their own accord as I watch Emmett take his place next to me again. He has yet to really speak to me and it's making me very uncomfortable. What is he not telling me? Something is wrong.

I can barely begin to panic as the Dilaudid over takes my body and sends me back into euphoria. Even with the peace and silence something in the back of my mind knows this is only the beginning of what's to come.

* * *

><p>AN: I apologize this chapter is so short. One this was really hard for me to write and Two I am going on vacation and wanted to make sure I got something out there for ya'll. However I am sure that I will be writing on vacation because I can't seem to stay away. Love you all and leave me a review pretty please?


End file.
